Hark! Cue the silver snarling Â trumpets…
Beginning tomorrow, out go your copies of PANK 4, packaged smartly by our little animatronic snow elves, mailed directly to your door where PANK 4 will emerge from its supple wrappings like a faun, begin whispering its secrets into your ear as it rubs your shoulders, then fuck your brains out. And really, how could it not, this host of hosts, these 234-pages of wicked sweet awesomeness, how could they do anything less than f-u-c-k-y-o-u-r-b-r-a-i-n-s-o-u-t? The metaphor is too convoluted and harsh? I’m sorry, I’m excited. Sweet, sweet love, maybe? PANK 4 does that, too. Hell, PANK 4 will just hold your hand and talk about its feelings if that’s your thing because PANK 4 does it all.
I ask you this: What other literary magazine promises these things?
All by the likes of Â Jensen Beach, Â Lauren Becker, Â Angi Becker Stevens, Â Matt Bell, Â Summer Block, Â Melinda Blount, Â Aaron Burch, Â Ryan W. Bradley, Â Randall Brown, Â Rita D. Costello, Â Kristina Marie Darling, Â Craig Davis, Â Ryan Dilbert, Â Max Dunbar, Â Stevie Lee Edwards, Â David Erlewine, Â Moe Folk, Â Travis Fortney, Â AD Jameson, Â Elisa Gabbert, Â Karen Gentry, Â Alicia Gifford, Â Barry Graham, Â Kevin Grauke, Â Katherine Grosjean, Â Sarah Harste, Â Travis Hessman, Â Sarah Hilary, Â Justin Heifetz, Â Kyle Hemmings, Â Bob Hicok, Â Donora Hillard, Â Shane Jones, Â Tim Jones-Yelvington, Â Matthew Kirkpatrick, Â Laurence Klavan, Â Sarah Layden, Â Laura LeHew, Â Lisa Lewis, Â Kirsty Logan, Â Sandee Lyles, Â Taylor Mali, Â Jen Michalski, Â Steven McDermott, Â Kyle Minor, Â Adam Moorad, Â Joel Patton, Â Jennifer Pieroni, Â Meg Pokrass, Â Coralie Reed, Â Ryan Ridge, Â Andrew Roe, Â Ethel Rohan, Â Kathleen Rooney, Â Emily Rosko, Â Francine Rubin, Â Nick Sansone, Â Peter Schwartz, Â Matthew Simmons, Â Audri Sousa, Â Sarah Sweeney, Â JA Tyler, Â Jared Walls, Â Jared Ward, Â Brandi Wells, Â Lauren Wheeler, Â Kevin Wilson, Â Bill Yarrow, and Â Erin York. It’s like an all-star Marti Gras parade on acid times 4. Seriously.
If you ordered PANK 4 with HOW TO TAKE YOURSELF APART, HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF ANEW, you’ll be receiving both in the coming days. Sorry for the delay.
If you have yet to order your copy, by God, (wo)manchild, do so Â here. Our print copies do not last long.
Spread the gospel, PANK.