Linguistic shenanigans & writing tidbits
–by Joel Patton
Distressions  & Digressions 
The other day , I passed a housepainter’s van. It advertised a variety of services, including the first part of the title of this essay: distressions .
I immediately knew the meaning of the word, though I’d never seen or heard it used before, because of an acquaintance’s work experience, to wit :
Said acquaintance worked part-time for a cabinetmaker. My friend can’t carpent , but he didn’t need to. His employer and his regular employees would build brand-new $40,000 banks of kitchen cabinets, and my friend, armed with awls , rusty chains , sandpaper , and the like, would make them look like hundred-year-old $40,000 banks of kitchen cabinets. Continue reading