Ask the Author: Brett Elizabeth Jenkins

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Brett Elizabeth Jenkins is one of the fine poets featured in the August issue and she talks with us about wedding songs, divorce soundtracks, and finding the dead.

1. Who would you like to find dead? Where would you like to find them?

I think I would probably like to find David Blaine dead. Anywhere would be fine.

2. How can I talk you out of getting married and use the wedding ceremony money to do something cool, like buy a jetpack or a crate of gold-plated AK-47s?

We aren’t spending that much on our wedding, but the process of talking me out of it would involve a bribe of twice the cost of the wedding. Then I would use the bribe to buy the jetpack, some candy, and probably some stuff for the Beard-To-Be, because I think he wants to get married, too. To me. (I know! Weird.)

3. Do you have to resist the urge to write more when you write concise poetry?

Usually, I write down a whole lot of really terrible things, and in the process of crossing out most of it, I get a poem. I think I have to resist the urge to cross out everything I write down, more or less.

4. What will be your first dance song at your wedding?

Is “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” a real thing?

5. What song do you recommend someone dance to right after finalizing their divorce?

I guess it depends on what sort of divorce it is, but here is my Finalized Divorce Mix CD:

1. Good Lovin – The Rascals
2. The Final Countdown – Europe
3. Theme Song From The West Wing
4. Gin & Juice – Snoop Dog
5. Cheeseburger in Paradise – Jimmy Buffet
6. Danger! High Voltage! – Electric Six
7. James K. Polk – They Might Be Giants
8. Suck a Damn Dick – Dog Traders
9. Beethoven’s 9th Symphony (in its entirety)
10. Taps

6. How do you want your remains treated when you’re gone?

I wouldn’t mind being sifted into pancake batter. Either that, or I want to be lovingly eaten by a shark.