The Up Drafts is an ongoing series of essays and interviews that examine creativity, productivity, writing process, and getting unstuck.
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BY NANCY REDDY
“Is anyone writing now?” a friend asks me via text. “Are you?”
I have not been writing, not in the way I want to, not in the way of my Before life. Writing this column has been hard because I want to offer ways to help, and I cannot seem to help myself. The magic’s gone out of my old tricks. When I think of the rushing-forward, word-count driven, One Thing-obsessed, target-locked-on-the-horizon way of writing that animated me even a few months ago, my chest goes tight and my brain gets muddy. The words just stop. I’ve been reading and running and baking and teaching on Zoom and answering students’ emails. I’ve been trying to help my older son with his subtraction and playing board games with my younger son, who insists on playing Battleship, even though he doesn’t yet know all his letters or numbers or understand the concept of a grid. We watch so many movies, and when we’re all cuddled together on the couch, I can mostly forget my fear that the old life will never come back.
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When I was in graduate school and teaching intermediate composition, I’d start the course with a list of definitions of rhetoric, a word that’s most often deployed with a sneer, as if all attempts at persuasion, all effort expended in the service of selecting words were automatically suspect. My favorite definition, or at least the one I keep returning to now, is also one of the oldest: Aristotle’s maxim that rhetoric is the ability to, in each case, “discover the available means of persuasion.” The translations I find online mostly use the verb observe, but I prefer discover, for its emphasis on action and changeability: in each case, the available means are different. They shift each time we look for them. Each time we attempt to persuade, we search anew.
And writing right now feels like that, like a new search through unfamiliar materials. For most of us, the time and space and material conditions of our writing lives have shifted immensely. What are the available means for this new version of our lives?
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I have been trying for two weeks now to write about what’s helping me – about my new available means. One thing that helps is broadening the scope of what I’m willing to count as writing. As C Pam Zhang wrote in a recent craft newsletter for Lit Hub,
Walking is writing. Crying is writing. Talking to a parent whose health you fear for is writing. Cooking is writing. Lying prostrate on the rug and watching sun stripe the wall is writing. Your lover’s hand on yours is writing. Your dog is writing.
For me, this is both true and not true. Much of what I’ve been doing–rearranging tiny spaces in my house, making lists of the items in the freezer and what we can make for dinner with them, the endless laundry–is decidedly not-writing, is instead just trying to busy myself and keep the hum of panic in my brain down. But some of my non-writing activities are writing: long runs, chopping things for dinner, mixing dough and watching it rise, certain kinds of reading, standing on the porch with milky coffee while my kids stomp in the puddles in our now-quiet street. What distinguishes the two, for me, is that, in the latter group, my body is just occupied enough to let my brain work. While running or slicing onions or weighing out flour and water, I am in my body and I can hear the part of myself that writes surfacing again, for a moment. That kind of work can’t be quantified in the way I’ve come to like, but I can feel my brain inclining again toward writing, and that will have to do for now.
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In the ancient world, the men who taught the art of rhetoric were largely forbidden from practicing it themselves. The most skilled teachers of rhetoric were not themselves citizens and so could not speak in public spaces. I find that very moving now, for reasons I still cannot fully articulate. It is dangerous to romanticize anything about the history of rhetoric, bound up as it is with the history of empire and exclusion. But I have come to realize that much of what I miss about the old life is the casual social contact of public spaces: greeting colleagues and students in the hallway, the awkward shuffle for the sink and paper towel dispenser in the campus bathroom, chit chat with other parents at school pickup at the end of the day. (If what you miss most is a clue to who you are, what does this say about me?)
Though those kinds of casual public spaces are closed to us for now, reading helps me because it reminds me of being in touch with other people. Last week, I read a bad book, or at least a book that disappointed me by falling flat after a strong first couple of chapters, but I was able to pinpoint what I thought had gone wrong and felt a certain writing part of my brain click back on. I read Jennine Capó Crucet’s My Time Among the Whites, a book that’s so smart and well-written, each essay tracking multiple threads that come together in sharp and unexpected ways, and I remembered the vital kind of thinking that happens through serious writing and reading. I’ve been reading The Sewanee Review’s Corona Correspondences, and I love best the ones (like Lauren Groff’s, Danielle Evans’s, Chloe Benjamin’s) that give a kind of intimate account of this new life. This kind of reading is a way back into writing. When I read, I remember what words can do.
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Because the available means – the empty blocks of time, the coffee shops with other people noisily working away – of my writing life have changed, I’ve also been rethinking what my writing process looks like.
So instead I’ve been trying to sneak up on the writing. I open a document and play around in it. I scrawl a few phrases, standing at my desk, before going to bed, because that isn’t Writing, it’s just making notes. At some point last semester I’d pilfered the end of a pack of large post-it paper from the supply closet on campus, and a few weeks ago, I hung the last two pages horizontally on the wall with painters tape to make a large timeline for the book of narrative nonfiction I’m writing. I’ve started adding chapter titles and notes to the paper. When I make a new connection, I add it in pencil. I draw arrows between the ideas.
This practice has a lot to do with the way I wrote when I was teaching high school English in a demanding charter school system and driving to work in the dark and returning home too exhausted to have a thought. I mounted Ikea curtain rods on the walls of the spare room and used the clips to hang poems so that even when I wasn’t writing (or Writing, in the serious, focused way I wanted) I could be in the presence of the poems. Then, as now, I often got up early to have a few minutes to feel like a writer before the day began. Because I didn’t have long, and because the rest of my life was full of other demands, it helped to have the words right there, as soon as I entered the room. I’m reminded also of Melissa Stephenson’s description of writing in “confetti time,” capturing snippets on hotel notepads and index cards in ten and twenty-minute increments. (Her Lit Hub essay details the index card method, and it’s the kind of low-pressure exercise that I think would help many of us now.)
So these are, for now, my available means: the fragments of attention that become available through certain kinds of tasks, reading that reminds me how words make worlds that connect us, and being with the writing in whatever small ways I can.
Are you writing now, dear reader? How?
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NANCY REDDY is the author of Double Jinx (Milkweed Editions, 2015), a 2014 winner of the National Poetry Series, and Acadiana (Black Lawrence Press, 2018). Her poems have appeared or are forthcoming in The Gettysburg Review, Pleiades, Blackbird, Colorado Review, The Iowa Review, Smartish Pace, and elsewhere, and her essays have appeared most recently in Electric Literature. The recipient of a Walter E. Dakin Fellowship from the Sewanee Writers’ Conference and grants from the New Jersey State Council on the Arts and the Sustainable Arts Foundation, she teaches writing at Stockton University. She’s working on a narrative nonfiction book about the trap of natural motherhood.
No one does it quite like Danez Smith. That’s it. That’s the review. Okay, that’s not it. You obviously need a little more. Here we go.
Danez Smith doesn’t just dance to the
beat of their own drum; they slaughter magical animals of oppression with their
hands, dry and stretch their skins, build the drums, call everyone together for
a party, and then play the drums while dancing in a house built of words that
can withstand a hurricane, the weight of history and racism, and a collection
of memories best forgotten.
Homie, which is the title of this book only for the uninitiated, is a celebratory dance, a slap in the face of complacency, and an invitation to a revolution. It’s also a superb collection of poetry from one of the most interesting and unique voices in contemporary literature. In Homie, Smith opens their heart and their past and invites us all in to take a look. In fact, Smith does more than that: they make us their friend, especially those of us who, as people of color, have faced a different set of struggles.
There isn’t a single throwaway poem in Homie. That said, I won’t discuss all of them. Instead, I’ll give you glimpses of those that have stuck with me for weeks and are still with me now, a month after turning the last page.
The first one is “dogs!,” a strange crowning jewel that contains the taste of many of the cohesive elements that make this collection read like a whole: anger, humor, rhythm, and a message that’s stretched on top of the words like a cat, waiting for you to acknowledge it, to recognize its existence. It’s made up of little poems, all dealing with dogs in one way or another. Here is one I had to share on Twitter:
“scooby doo was trying to tell us
something when every time that
monster mask got snatched off it
was a greedy white dude.”
Here’s one that comes later and slices through our times all the way to the marrow to expose one of those problems that live at the core of this country like an intractable cancer:
“a dead dog is a hero, a dead lion
is a hero, a cloned sheep is a
miracle a dead child is a tragedy
depending on the color, the
nation, the occupation of non-
occupation of the parents.”
Danez’s is the kind of in-your-face
poetry that revels in celebrating Otherness, that screams about the realities
of the poet’s positionality. They are here to say things that matter, to scream
about injustice:
“i didn’t come here to preach peace
for that is hot the hunted’s duty.
i came here to say what i can’t say
without my name being added to a list
what my mother fears i will say
what she wishes to say herself”
And this is Danez’s book, so they say whatever they want to say. In that regard, I guess some readers could find the language shocking. However, the way they use it demands attention. The title inside the book, the real title of the collection, contains a world of meaning. The words here are words that live in the interstitial space between being horrible insults and operating as reclaimed/repurposed terms that carry power with them. Yes, there are words here most people wouldn’t say/shouldn’t say, but “this ain’t about language/but who language holds.” Danez is in your face about these things because ignoring them is not how we make them better, how we bring people together, how we shine a light on racism, homophobia, and injustice.
Homie is timely, powerful, and honest. It’s one of those rare poetry collections that demand to be read because it contains the usual elements (i.e. love, memories, regret), but also brings other elements to the table, elements that are timely and important: bigotry, poverty, culture, and family. This is an elegant collection rocking short shorts; a fun read that’s extremely serious. Go read it.
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GABINO IGLESIAS is a writer, journalist and book reviewer living in Austin, Texas. He is the author of Zero Saints and Coyote Songs. He is the book review editor for PANK Magazine and a columnist at LitReactor. You can find him on Twitter at @Gabino_Iglesias.
If you had told me that I was going to love a new comic that was Lisbeth Salander meets The Spirit; that was a dash of Dick Tracy, a smattering of Stumptown, and a sprinkle of Alias; that had elements of Eisner and Rucka, a little bit of Luna Brothers, and even a hint of George R.R. Martin? I’d have laughed in your face and told you that sounded like a derivative mess. And I’d have been dead wrong. You, of course, would have been talking about the fantastic series, Black Ghost, written by Alex Segura and Monica Gallagher.
Instead of some seasonless word-and-picture potato salad made up of disparate elements that don’t belong together (raisins, anyone?), this collaboration from two gifted comic book veterans feels more like a comfortable homemade recipe where all the ingredients come together—the influences from great writers and artists of the past and present blending perfectly. Instead of copying their inspirations, they pay homage to them while creating something wholly unique and original.
Black Ghost follows the travails of Lara Dominguez (a Latina heroine who’s the lead in her own title? Don’t mind if I do!), a reporter/teacher/vigilante on the come up. We’re dropped into her story in medias res—and she’s immediately kicking ass. The writing from the get-go is crisp and economical, abandoning the exposition and introducing us immediately to our heroine who’s got heart and snark to spare.
Lara has been obsessed with tracking down a vigilante dubbed The Black Ghost—a modern-day version of Eisner’s The Spirit—and that singular focus has brought her dangerously close to losing her job, as she’s passed up the stories her boss actually wants her to work on. Adding to her compulsion for the Ghost is an Anonymous-type entity, Lone, who contacts her through her computer, giving her clues about criminal goings-on where the Ghost might appear—or where she might have a chance to hone her burgeoning fighting skills.
Segura seamlessly infuses his noir roots into the
story—simmering beneath this drama, Lara is dealing with the unsolved murder of
her brother, Tomas, a community organizer in Miami. It is the motivation behind
her drive to bring other criminals to justice—but his death also triggered the
contact from Lone. She is not oblivious to the coincidence, and the mystery
deepens.
Issue #1 takes a George R.R. Martin-esque turn on the final page—that’s right! Someone you thought was indispensable gets Red Wedding-ed (no spoilers here)! The savvy of Segura and Gallagher’s writing chops make the event feel natural and not done simply for shock value. It’s a compelling end to a riveting first issue that manages to give us an origin story without talking down to the reader.
Issue #2 is where things get a little darker and a little
grittier where Lara is concerned. There’s nothing more compelling than a
character in trouble, and, man, Lara is in some shit of her own making. The
second chapter dives deeper into Lara’s internal torment, and how she quiets
it—or attempts to—with booze and other people’s warm beds. The Bendis/Alias
influence is apparent here, but unlike Jessica Jones, Lara is hindered by her
reliance on alcohol, not enhanced by it. It becomes quite clear in this issue
that it is a kryptonite she can’t resist—as much as we want her to.
While she clears the cobwebs, Lara discovers that the
mugging she saved her student from in the last issue is more complicated than
she first suspected—a lot more so. If only she had time to deal with that
instead of clinging to the last threads of her job before she’s fired. Did I
mention Lone is getting a bit more aggressive in his encouragement of her
vigilante activities, and that’s she having an increasingly difficult time with
Tomas’s death and what it might mean?
This is to say that if you think chapter two slows down for
you to catch your breath—think again. While Lara’s story gets more textured and
layered, it only adds to the emotional heft and propels the narrative instead
of turning it into a slog.
This is to say nothing of the art of George Kambadais and
the coloring by Ellie Wright. The cartoonish style recalls the art present in
the Luna brothers’ works (The Sword, Ultra, Girls), while the bright
primary colors harken back to the era of Dick Tracy. While these styles
might seem out of place in a noir-influenced comic that doesn’t shy away from
profanity and violence, Kambadais renders facial expressions, body language,
and action in a way that, in combination with Segura and Gallagher’s script,
conveys the gravitas in every scene.
If the first two issues are any indication, comic fans are
in for one hell of a series. I can’t wait to see what this team does next.
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JOHN VERCHER is a writer currently living in the Philadelphia area with his wife and two sons. He holds a Bachelor’s in English from the University of Pittsburgh and an MFA in Creative Writing from the Mountainview Master of Fine Arts program. His fiction has appeared on Akashic Books’ Mondays are Murder and Fri-SciFi. and he is a contributing writer for Cognoscenti, the thoughts and opinions page of WBUR Boston. Two of his essays published there on race, identity, and parenting were picked up by NPR, and he has appeared on WBUR’s Weekend Edition. His non-fiction has also appeared in Entropy Magazine. You can find him on his website www.johnvercherauthor.com and on Twitter at @jverch75.
Jonathan Starke, a former boxer and bodybuilder, is the editor of Palooka Magazine and author of the forthcoming novel, You’ve Got Something Coming, winner of the Black Heron Press Award for Social Fiction (Black Heron Press, April 2020). His poem “Between Them” was featured in the June 2012 issue of [PANK]. Everything I’ve ever read of Starke’s kicks me in the gut with emotion and orbits around in my brain forever—complete with images—like mind-blowing, devastating cinema. His breakthrough novel about an aging boxer and his young daughter is no different. I reached out recently to talk with him about process, plot, and pain.
GINA WILLIAMS: Publishers Weekly recently reviewed You’ve Got Something Coming, saying “Starke’s bruising, brooding book is a real heartbreaker.” Another reviewer, Peter Stenson, author of Fiend and Thirty-Seven, comments, “You will be hard pressed to find a novel that is simultaneously gut-wrenching and brimming with the beauty of inextinguishable hope. In fact, you would be hard pressed to find a better novel published this year.”
That’s incredible advance praise. Describe your creative
process in the sense of how you went about developing the characters and plot
so strongly that readers can’t help but react as if it’s their own fight.
JONATHAN STARKE: The novel is written in a tight window of time and narrative lens. There’s nothing but closeness to the two main characters—Trucks, an aging boxer, and Claudia, his young daughter battling deafness—who live on the fringes of society. I think what moves people about the read is the unusual portrait of a single father raising a daughter while they hitch across the country, Trucks trying to make the most of his limited skill set and impart hope to his little girl in a seemingly hopeless world.
GW: Your deeply emotional style of writing must take a toll. Did the writing process impact you physically and mentally? What did you do to release yourself from that grip or did it happen naturally when you finished the book?
JS: Everything I’ve written has taken something from me. When writing from a place of deep emotional truth or pain, this is bound to happen. I’ve never felt a point of “release” after completing a piece of writing, but there is a slight feeling of relief that it’s done, that it’s been written about, and that hopefully others will connect to it and feel a shared experience or understanding.
GW: Do you have any quirky writing rituals and/or habits?
JS: I’m not someone who writes often. I’ll go months without writing. My mind is always “taking notes,” and whenever the next piece is ready, it flows out of me entirely. It’s always been this way. The novel was no different. To go out and live and do interesting things and pay attention to the world, that’s gathering the material and “mentally writing.” The act of writing comes later, sometimes months or years, in a raging river of typing.
GW: Who was the most difficult character to write? And why do you think that’s the case?
JS: The hardest character to write is the one who’s absent, the one hardly spoken about, the one that may have existed for a time but is forever gone now—through separation, through distance, through time, through death. But this is the character who often has the most effect on the others, their present lives, and it’s this effect I find so haunting and difficult to render.
GW: Your writing is powerful in the sense that it doesn’t just ache, but yanks the reader out of the bar, hauls them into the back alley, and knocks them out. How do you harness that kind of pain and rage without giving up story and language—or hope?
JS: The rage has to be stored and used infrequently—only when it’s necessary to create change or show how utterly desperate life has become. The pain works as a slow drip—a reader can see it throughout, but I find it best when it’s mostly unspoken and instead shown in how the characters behave and move and the choices they do or do not make. Wounded people are practiced at how to step into pain. Without at least a splinter of hope, I’m not sure there’s a point.
GW: How did this novel begin? What was the first seed?
JS: I saw this aging boxer, early forties, with his back to this brick wall outside in the dead of winter. I understood he was in Wisconsin. He looked miserable. He was cold. In a state of desperation. He was clutching used hearing aids, and I thought, What the hell’s he doing with those? Soon I realized he was outside of a children’s home. He was breaking in to get his little girl back.
GW: Where did you draw inspiration for Trucks, Claudia, and your novel’s other characters?
JS: I care about people on the fringes. I’ve known many people who have little or nothing. For a lot of my life, I’ve had little. I used to box. When something’s in your blood, you think about it every day. I can’t remember a day I haven’t thought about boxing. It’s a tough thing to step away from. Once you’ve done it, it’s hard not to want to go back. You try to just pretend it away, but when it’s in you, it’s got hold. That’s what Trucks is facing every day, but he’s also got Claudia to think about. But with someone like him, when it’s in his blood so deep, how does he navigate their life in a way that he can protect her best interests but also pursue this passion that begs for him?
GW: You’re well-known for creative nonfiction and short stories. What inspired you to write a novel? Was it difficult to make the transition?
JS: Once I saw this story in front of me, I knew it was going to be a long project. I can’t write a novel in a typical or conventional sense. I know that’s not in me. This is a linear piece, and it takes place over a few weeks. I knew I needed to limit the time and the chapters. It’s a linear novel in vignettes.
GW: What is your proudest achievement outside of writing?
JS: It’s not an achievement of mine, but I want to say my father. He raised two boys by himself and worked his ass off and sacrificed to get us beyond scraping by and to give us a good life. I admire him so much for carving his own path and getting educated and believing in himself when nobody else did. He’s an inspiring and giving and loving and incredible person. This novel being about a single father, I think it’s important I say this about my own father and to also acknowledge all the other single fathers out there who are working hard and giving love and doing their damnedest.
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JONATHAN STARKE is a former bodybuilder and boxer. He’s harvested seaweed in Ireland, given free hugs in Spain, and flipped pancakes in Denmark. He loves riding trains and wondering about the lives unfolding outside the window. His biggest passions are learning and travel, and he’s ventured to sixty countries via hitching, couch surfing, and working exchanges. He plays piano and thrives on diverse workouts, organic food, artwork, street markets, and anything related to helping others, especially in the arts. He’s the founding editor of Palooka.
GINA WILLIAMS is a journalist, photographer, former firefighter, and gardener. She’s a Pacific Northwest native and can often be found rambling in the Oregon Outback, volunteering at the community garden, or on assignment in a far-flung location. She lives and creates near Portland, Oregon. Her writing and visual art have been featured by River Teeth, Okey-Panky, Moss, Carve, The Sun, and Fugue, among others. She’s the author of An Unwavering Horizon, a full-length collection of poetry published by Finishing Line Press. It’s now available for preorder and will be distributed in May 2020. GinaMarieWilliams.com
The Up Drafts is an ongoing series of essays and interviews that examine creativity, productivity, writing process, and getting unstuck.
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BY NANCY REDDY
When Hurricane Katrina tore through New Orleans in August 2005, one of the many sites of wreckage was the classroom in Orleans Parish East where I’d just started my second year teaching 9th grade English. As I left school that Friday before the storm, I’d been so hopeful. I’d spent the week before school started preparing my classroom, and the matched desks I’d pilfered from teacherless classrooms down the hall were lined in neat rows, eliminating the squabbling over desks’ style and broken-ness that had plagued my classroom the entire year before. The air conditioner, an enormous unit that hung from the ceiling and was always more loud than efficient, finally worked, which had rarely been true in my first year. I’d covered the old green chalkboards with bright white showerboard, and the room glowed with the light of all those good intentions.
I’d been such a bad teacher in my first year– unprepared, uncertain, unable to effectively teach my students, who arrived in high school with serious reading difficulties and complicated lives. I spent the whole summer between my first and second year reading books on pedagogy and literacy and planning my lessons. And on that last Friday, I stood in the doorway of my dimmed classroom and watched as my students sat and wrote at their desks. On the whiteboard at the front of the room, an overhead projector displayed the opening journaling activity, called a Do Now.
Hurricane Katrina remade New Orleans, and it remade my life. But hurricanes are, for better or worse, clear in their damage. Their approach can be charted on a doppler, their aftermath mapped and quantified. This new disaster is slow-moving, its consequences as yet unknown. Its course can still be shaped. Quarantine and social distancing are the best tools we have, and they seem to be slowing transmission in New York City and elsewhere.
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So what do we–as writers, as people who need our art as a way of being present to the world – Do Now?
Last week passed in a haze. It was technically spring break for the university where I teach, and my kids had been sent home from school, and the weather was nice, so we spent most of our week on walks around our neighborhood, looking for signs of spring and taking pictures of the crocuses and dogwoods and magnolias. I baked bread. My children watched too much TV and mostly didn’t fight.
But this week, as it’s clear that this period of social distancing is going to stretch on for quite a while, I’m trying to figure out what shape this new part of our life might take and how writing can still fit into it.
I woke up this morning worrying, and I sat at my desk in the dark and wrote it down: I am afraid this will go on forever. And it helped a little, just a little, as it often does, to have that worry outside my body and written down.
Here’s what I’m doing so far: I’m setting the alarm for 6 each morning and coming to sit in my office and write. I’m mostly journaling, which is unusual for me, but it’s what I can do for now, and I think it’s likely that I’ll want to remember later what this time was like, in all its odd detail. Sari Botton’s recent piece, Why I’m Giving Myself Permission to Keep Writing at This Time, makes a case for writing through this crisis:
So that settles it: My story matters, and so does yours. I’m giving myself permission to write as I feel called to through this dark time. And if you need permission from someone other than yourself, I’m giving it to you, too. I’m not shirking any responsibilities to do it. I’m helping others out, staying connected to loved ones, making donations to helpful organizations as I can, doing my job. But when I am so motivated, I’m going to take a moment to write about what is happening, inside me and around me. I will tell myself first what I think and feel, and maybe later, share it with the world.
(Botton’s article also has a really comprehensive list of resources for writers, including prompts and virtual readings, if you’re looking for encouragement and community.)
Courtney Maum’s recent newsletter considered the question of how and what we write right now as well, and I was particularly comforted by her advice to “scale back.” As she writes:
Everyone’s ability to work is going to be affected by a slab of different factors. Whether you have kids running around at home that you’re suddenly supposed to educate, whether you yourself feel sick or are struggling with anxiety, whether you have lost such a significant portion of your wages that your livelihood is at risk. While I think that doing absolutely nothing is appropriate right now, severing ourselves completely from our identity as creators leaves room for depression and helplessness to seep in.
Can you find 45 to 90 minutes each day to work on something creative that fuels you? This time shouldn’t include social media, e-mail answering, or Zoom calls, this time is for you and your art.
Gone are the long hours at a coffee shop, but I can get an hour or so each morning alone before I start the day with my kids. And if I get that time–if I insist on it, sometimes waving my kids back out of my office while I write– I’m a little more myself in this uncertain and unsettling time.
//
Months after Katrina, when I was able to return to my classroom, I could see the waterline about waist-high on the white board and the walls. Below that waterline, the room was filled with silt, notebooks, and books that the water had scattered across the room as it receded. All those neat desks had been toppled, their contents strewn across the linoleum floor. Above the line, in my own handwriting, I could still read the words I’d written on our last day: the date and the Do Now.
None of us knows what this disaster will make of us, if anything we can write or make now will make sense on the other side of this. As agent Kate McKean wrote in her newsletter this past week, there’s no way to predict what editors will be buying or what readers will want to read when this is over. Instead, she says, “What you can do right now is write the thing you want to write.” Let’s try.
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NANCY REDDY is the author of Double Jinx (Milkweed Editions, 2015), a 2014 winner of the National Poetry Series, and Acadiana (Black Lawrence Press, 2018). Her poems have appeared or are forthcoming in The Gettysburg Review, Pleiades, Blackbird, Colorado Review, The Iowa Review, Smartish Pace, and elsewhere, and her essays have appeared most recently in Electric Literature. The recipient of a Walter E. Dakin Fellowship from the Sewanee Writers’ Conference and grants from the New Jersey State Council on the Arts and the Sustainable Arts Foundation, she teaches writing at Stockton University. She’s working on a narrative nonfiction book about the trap of natural motherhood.
Chris Talbot-Heindl is a leader in the movement to ensure LGBTIQA2+ rights and to promote those interests in the marginalized, as well as, the mainstream, art and literary communities. Editor and publisher of the zine, The Bitchin’ Kitsch[The B’K], and, recently settled in Colorado, their Twitter profile states, “…just another trans, nonbinary, pansexual, mixed-race, separated-Indigenous (probably Huron-Wendat), artist, & comics creator”— and, I would add, educator, advocate, activist, graphic novelist, and chapbook contest sponsor. Talbot-Heindl acknowledges that they produce polarizing, political commentary and art so, in 2010, with their husband, Dana, Talbot-Heindl “brainstormed” about possible projects that would highlight their creative energies, and serve as an outlet for their beliefs and values. “The zine started out as a joke idea – a late night brainstorm that ended with, ‘…and we could totally call it, The Bitchin’ Kitsch—like, it’s totally rad junk!’ The next morning, when the idea didn’t sound half bad, we decided to ‘go’ with it. We wanted to focus on people who normally didn’t get to have their work out there – pieces with a little grit, things that were slightly subversive, or had a level of kitschiness or silliness that ‘traditional’ publications would reject.” They planned to emphasize creativity, inclusivity, diversity, & respectful discourse. The B’K, then, is an extension of Talbot-Heindl’s long-standing concern for justice, their personality, and their self-presentation, and this interview, conducted via email and barely edited, reflects that interdependence. As a personal disclosure, I have published poems and reviews in The B’K several times and won the zine’s chapbook competitions in 2015 & 2017. My motivation for choosing them as an interview subject, however, was based on their commitment to LGBTIQA+ issues and the ways in which they balance and integrate identity, work, life, beliefs, attitudes, opinions, values, and community. Most important, perhaps, I find Talbot-Heindl to be a generous and pragmatic social commentator who makes a lot of sense, and I want to share their “voice” with others.
Clara B. Jones: Imagine that you are having a dinner party and that you’ve invited three people. Who would these three persons be, why did you choose them, what would you cook for dinner, and what would you talk about?
Chris Talbot-Heindl: The first person is going to sound hokey, but it has to be Dana, my spouse. We’re ridiculously co-dependent and introverted, so there’s no way I could get through a dinner party without his assistance. The other two would be incredibly hard to pick and would likely change day to day. But if I had to choose two living individuals based on today’s mood, I would choose Indya Moore and Lilah Sturges. Both of these individuals work hard in their respective fields to make the world a better, more loving place for trans people (Indya Moore is a trans nonbinary person starring in the television series, “Pose,” who speaks their truth on social media; Lilah Sturges is a writer who hosts Trans Pizza, where she makes sure that trans people are fed!); both focus on intersectionality, and both have beautiful, eloquent, affirming things to say on Twitter daily.
I would likely serve nori rolls and loaded miso since it’s
the only dinner-party style food I can really do any justice to (I am not a
very good cook, truth be told). I would hope we could talk about trans
inclusion issues, brainstorm solutions, and talk about using art as a medium to
raise awareness. But honestly, I’d be up for talking about pretty much anything
with either of them! I have a feeling that any topic they wanted to talk about
would be interesting and informative.
CBJ: What is your earliest memory, and is it still significant to you in any way?
C T-H: I have a problem with memory, honestly. Most of my childhood is a blank, and the memories I do have may be genuine or may be creative fictional amalgamations of stories I’ve heard about my childhood mixed with legitimate memories. Of those possible amalgamations, the earliest one I can think of isn’t super significant other than as an example of my sense of justice and my stubborn insistence of it. Picture this: my family and I are at a martial arts tournament – I think it was the Diamond Nationals in Minneapolis – and I’m “little Chris,” seven or eight years old, trying to sleep at the hotel after the first night. My sister, Michelle, is crying because she can’t sleep. The adults in the next room are partying pretty hard and are too loud. So, I march into the hall to the next room in my pajamas, knock on the door, and, when my instructor opens it, I put my hands on my hips, give him a stern look and tell him he was being rude and to keep it down. Apparently I also told him he was a bad man (for other reasons), but I’m not sure if this was the same night or a different one. I have tons of story-memories like this – me insisting there was a moral imperative to behave a certain way and demanding it be so as a child. Most of them involved hands on hips, stern looks, and demands. I was, apparently, a bossy child.
CBJ: I gather from one of your online interviews that you scan every submission to The B’K for “racist, sexist, or homophobic,” as well as, triggering content. However, your new submission form asks each artist, including, writers, to answer a long and broad range of questions—many of which would be considered illegal in other contexts [e.g., on employment or educational applications]. Can you describe this submission form in detail, discuss its rationale, and tell us what prompted your creating it and using it as a criterion to publish in The B’K? How do you use the information, and what are the most disqualifying answers?
C T-H: Our submission form gets a lot of pushback, but all its rules and questions have been informed from 10 years’ experience in what we don’t want to receive and/or publish. Every time we add something, it’s because we’ve gotten dozens of submissions that included it [e.g., the undesirable topic, practice, or appropriation], and we feel we need to explicitly tell people not to. We once got an angry email from someone who was offended that we included so many guidelines because she didn’t want to “read an essay” just to submit, and she stated all the things included were minimum requirements for a decent submission. She was floored when I told her everything prohibited was something we’ve received many times over.
Our form asks people to self-identify their intersections,
including race, gender, sexuality, ability, and religion, but makes it clear in
the submission guidelines and the submission form itself (because we’ve found
most people don’t read the guidelines) that this is for our information (to see
whose voices we might be missing) and won’t be used to evaluate the work unless
someone’s identity makes their submission inappropriate or constitutes
appropriation. We further explain that “appropriation” means writing about what
it’s like to be part of a historically marginalized community you don’t belong
to rather than just including people from marginalized communities. We go even
further and have podcasts for people who find these rules and terms confusing.
Really, we’re trying so hard to help – we may have gone overboard and made it
all too cumbersome.
For some people, being asked to self-identify is really
upsetting. We get a mix of angry emails each month calling us “fascists” or
saying that white cisgender heterosexual abled men aren’t going to submit
anymore. But for us, these questions are about equity and “who” should tell a
story. We want people from marginalized communities to speak to that
experience; we want all people to include people from marginalized communities
in their work. Too often, we get someone who’s well-meaning but writes a
micro-aggressing interpretation of what it’s like to be someone from a
different background; and, too often, we see other publications publish these
stories. We are interested in people being able to decolonize their own stories
and tell their own stories.
And truth be told, even with these rules, the majority of our submitters and
accepted submissions are white cisgender heterosexual abled men, so there’s
nothing to fear in answering the questions. No identity is disqualifying, but
your piece may be rejected if your identity makes your piece problematic.
CBJ: Besides publishing the zine, The B’K, you hold a yearly chapbook competition, as well as, produce a Podcast Series and an educational series, Chrissplains Comics—both of these latter initiatives are about gender & race. In the current, Winter Issue, 11.1, you present the Chrissplains Nonbinary Advocacy to Cisgender People comic—“Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria is a FART Myth” [FART= Feminism-Appropriating Reactionary Transphobes] that “attempts to show why the rhetoric, advanced by FARTs, of ‘rapid onset gender dysphoria’ is harmful and explains to parents and therapists why it isn’t a ‘thing’ to worry about.” What feedback have you been receiving about your podcasts and comic series? Can radical Art, including, literature, change society, or is it influential only at the individual and subjective levels?
CT-H: The feedback I’ve received from The B’K Submitters’ Guide Podcast and Chrissplains Nonbinary Advocacy to Cisgender People have been mixed (and very telling), according to identity. In general, the people advocated for in the podcasts have appreciated them, thanked me for making them and for centering equity and affirming representation, and have sometimes provided me with information I didn’t know (which I then update people with on the next podcast). Allies have thanked me for telling them something they may not have known. But I’ve also gotten angry people sliding into my emails to tell me that I’m being ridiculous and taking PC culture too far. I don’t really sweat that feedback because in my mind that means I’m doing something right. These tend to be the same people that I’ll get an email about informing me that they’ve published elsewhere a story about trans identity being a mental illness and supporting a trans artist or writer means you’re fueling their mental illness (yup, really happened!). If people aren’t willing to learn better and, then, do better, I’m not interested in their listenership or their continued presence in The B’K. We’re on a journey to do better together, and they’re not ready to join us.
For Chrissplains, it’s been nearly the same – nonbinary and
trans people have thanked me or provided me more information from their
perspective, allies have thanked me, and FARTs have harassed me. I also had
someone, who claimed to be an ally, clamoring against one of my comics and
telling me what was best for me, which was interesting. I tried to explain that
nonbinary and trans people will let people know how to best advocate for them;
we don’t need to be told by cisgender people what is best for us. But she
wasn’t ready to hear it.
I believe that radical art is one of the only things that
influences certain types of learners. I originally made all of it – the zines,
the comics, and the graphic novel I’m working on—to help my family and friends
understand me better. That’s it. I didn’t have some grand scheme for it. But in
the process, I’ve had many nonbinary and trans people tell me that it helped
them understand things they didn’t have words for, educate their family and
friends, and made them feel seen. And that’s amazing! On top of that, the LGBT
Center for Excellence at Denver Health is using a partial chapter from my
graphic novel about nonbinary life to help people understand the importance of
LGBTIQA2+ affirming care. You never know who will be touched by your art and
who will be swayed by your art. But, it does provide an avenue for education
and change to people who are visual learners.
CBJ: Off and on for many years, I have been absorbed by reading literary interviews in Paris Review—most of the subjects might be described as members of the literary “canon,” so to speak [Eliot, Didion, Hemingway, Capote, Ralph Ellison, William Carlos Williams, etc.]. Perhaps, I am reading too much in; however, I am drawn to the details of houses and apartments—books, paintings, magazines, rugs, “kitschy” things with historical import, etc.—many of these objects seeming to have a sense of permanence with an intimate story, a detailed provenance attached to each belonging. I have often been reminded of something Paul Fry [Yale] said in his online literary theory course,—that “preservation” is a purpose of great literature, which I interpreted as saying preservation of Western Civilization or, perhaps, bourgeois culture. Is this a project that you would oppose? Is your mission intended to disrupt or intervene in or mediate the neo-capitalist, Western project—or are you about something else? In other words, what are you trying to achieve as a change agent?
CT-H: When we started The B’K, our one goal was to provide an outlet for those creators who are generally overlooked. When we started 10 years ago, there weren’t a ton of online publications with completely open and free submissions, and the ones that were set up like that did seem homogenized to me. I don’t fault them; I think that for the most part, we are trained to believe that the Western style of writing or art and subjects that center white Western ideas are the “greats.” I remember when I was briefly an English major in college, I enrolled in a Masters of Literature class and quickly dropped it when I saw the syllabus and realized it was entirely comprised of works from Western white men. We are trained to think of this ideal as “normal,” and to think of marginalized works to be “specialty” things that we box away in specific courses like “Introduction to Ethnic Literature” – also a class I took despite its micro-aggressing title, and one I truly enjoyed. Sometimes, after we realize that we aren’t going to get validation, acknowledgment, or publication from white institutions that have built an aesthetic—either purposefully or by accident – that leads to our exclusion, we have to decide to build something for ourselves that is built around inclusion and equity.
In my mind, I thought I was writing coded language for those
excluded, but I was also happy to provide an opportunity for the white
cisgender heterosexual men who submitted. I was happy to publish the weird
kitschy stuff, the subject matter that seemed taboo, as well as the
marginalized people I was originally hoping to amplify. Now that we’re farther
into the publication’s life, I find myself wanting to pointedly say, “This
publication is meant to provide inclusion and equity to people who have been
shut out from traditional publications, because traditional publications have
deemed their voice and their stories to be unimportant, ‘specialty,’ or not to
their Western aesthetics, because that’s where I would prefer my free labor to
go toward.” But, maybe, that isn’t as needed as it once was, seeing all the
new, marginalized-population focused publications out there!
CBJ: The Harvard poetry critic and Formalist, Helen Vendler, once said of Adrienne Rich’s poetry—after Rich came out as a lesbian—that Rich was writing “Sociology,” also stating that Rich’s early, lyrical poetry showed promise—implying that the radical feminist poet surrendered good poetry to politics. Given that the Formalist criterion is that content [e.g., politics] is subordinate to form [e.g., lyric, music, color, rhythmn], do you have any reaction to Vendler’s point of view about political and, perhaps, radical, Art, including, writing—that it is “Sociology,” not, Art?
CT-H: I had this same critique in my senior art thesis project, although not worded quite as nicely. One of my professors critiqued my thesis project as “political propaganda,” “low-brow,” and not to the level of fine or academic art. My art used traditional printmaking methods as well as animation to show the atrocities committed by each US President during their time, and it was interactive. Was it impeccably made? No. The printmaking was done well, the rest of it was…honestly, what I could afford to make at that point in my life. But, that wasn’t what he was critiquing. In his mind, the idea that it was political art was what made it not academic, fine, or high-brow art. I think that’s crap, honestly.
First, claiming that something that involves a different identity than your own becomes “sociology” is to fully center your own identity as normal and create an “other.” If you decide that poetry from the lens of a lesbian makes their writing “sociology” rather than poetry, then you’ve decided that poetry from the lens of a heterosexual person is normal, and poetry from a non-heterosexual lens is specialized or politicized. That’s a personal failing of the reader, in my opinion. Yes, our society in the US does cater and normalize white, cisgender, heterosexual, abled identities and stories; but art, and what is considered art, should be more nuanced than that.
I prefer the César
Cruz quote: “Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.” Art
has multiple purposes, including, providing a comfort and catharsis to those
suffering under a white, cisgender, heterosexual, abled-centered society, and
there’s value in disrupting the beneficiaries of that society a bit so they can
see something beyond what is immediately visible through their lenses.
CBJ: At least in the modern and contemporary period, small and alternative presses have been venues for experimental or oppositional or political or other non-traditional or radical or alternative artists, including, writers, of course, to publish successfully or to bypass the mainstream literary community and its institutions. What are the major challenges associated with small-press publishing? Is it a viable alternative to publishing in the mainstream? Can work published in small or alternative presses stand the tests of time?
CT-H: I
can’t really speak as a submitter, as I’ve only submitted a handful of things
to a handful of publications; but, from an editor’s point of view, the major
challenges with small-press publishing are finding the audience you want and
finding money and time to make it happen. We had a hard time filling The B’K
when we first started, and often resorted to begging our friends to send us
their artwork and writing and padding the publication with our own work. There
were issues we had to cancel because we didn’t have enough pages filled.
Money has always been an issue. People seem to think there’s big money in this
sort of thing and get shocked that we don’t offer payment to our submitters.
While we would love to, the publication loses money every year. We don’t charge
for submissions, we don’t have angel investors or grants, The B’K is free to read online, we offer the printed
copies at what it costs to us to our submitters, and very few people buy copies
beyond submitters because the zine is free to read online. Our goal is to put
pieces and creators out there, not necessarily to have a thriving business.
I think
it’s a viable alternative – I hope so; I hope people find value in it and enjoy
both submitting their pieces in print and reading people’s work in our publication.
As far as the work standing the test of time, I know it won’t have as long of a
shelf-life or as big of a readership as publications on actual shelves at the
library or in museums, but I hope ours has some longevity. All the issues are
available in the archive section of our website, and in Stevens Point,
Wisconsin (where we originally published), I know that an archivist from the
city’s preservation society has been squirreling old issues from the local
coffee shop that houses our community copies since the beginning. Back issues
are, of course, available to read at the Denver Zine Library. While it isn’t
the same, it has its own value and audience, I think.
CBJ: Have you received any negative reactions, or have you been ostracized by any members of the artistic, especially, literary, community because of your gender identification or your mission?
CT-H: Whew! I have absolutely had pushback. I think you will if you make art or amplify subjects that push boundaries. I was banned for life from a local small town Wisconsin Art Board because I proposed a show that included photographs of a (fully clothed) gay couple. They took the benevolent stance that it was for my own safety and well-being. An art curator for a museum once told me that I needed to start using my intelligence and gifts for “good rather than evil” after I gave her a rather scathing review of an art show she put on that was incredibly racist in nature. I’ve also gotten a lot of dismissal, from people saying that I shouldn’t make affirming artwork for LGBTIQA2+ people and amplify it when I am an LGBTIQA2+ person who will directly benefit, which is…certainly words in an order. I’ve not understood that stance personally – who better to talk about being a thing than a person who is?
I’ve been somewhat surprised and pleased that – especially when I was in a small town in central Wisconsin – all the pushback and burned bridges happened in relation to things I was doing rather than who I was (although when you get critiqued for queer art, it can feel like it is about who you are). But regardless, I’ve never let that stop me. I actually got that same show that the Board banned me from, at the Board’s standard show locale, by reaching out to the owner (who was a personal friend), instead. Whenever there is a white, cisgender, heterosexual-led institution saying “no,” there’s a person of color or LGBTIQA2+ person who got tired of hearing “no” who has made an avenue of opportunity for themselves and others. You just have to find it.
CBJ: Are there any emerging writers that you would recommend to readers? Are any of them bringing something new to the table?
CT-H: So, so many! I want to shout out many of The B’K writers, but I don’t want to play favorites; so, instead, I want to talk about three amazing authors. Tommy Orange, Mason Deaver, Mariama J. Lockington are three novelists I would highly recommend. They bring themselves to the table and write from a perspective all their own, and that’s what I value so much with their writing. Orange’s novel, “There There,” shows different Indigenous people as they prepare for a powwow for different reasons. He is an enrolled member of the Cheyenne and Arapaho Tribes of Oklahoma and created all kinds of characters with different attachments to their own Indigeneity, including Indigenous folks who are finding their way back to their roots through the powwow after being separated generations ago – which is my situation and which spoke to me. Deaver’s debut novel, “I Wish You All the Best,” introduces a nonbinary individual who is thrown out of their home when they come out. It’s heart-wrenching and provides a snapshot into the nuance of living that identity while still a minor – something I can’t even imagine. And Lockington’s novel, “For Black Girls Like Me,” tells the story of Makeda, a Black girl adopted by a white family, and what navigating that world is like for her.
In all three cases, the authors belong to the identity they
are writing about and can provide real-to-life perspectives for. They aren’t imagining
from a place of privilege; these are real stories with real nuance, despite
being fiction.
CBJ: Expand on a topic such as whether trans activism constitutes a movement; or whether trans writers & editors & publishers should attempt to enter the mainstream literary community; or what “allies” can do to facilitate success in visual and literary practice & publishing, including, small press publishing, by trans artists; or maybe you could discuss the merits of political art as it pertains to trans artists & writers.
CT-H: I feel like too many cisgender people believe that there’s some sort of organized trans agenda that trans activists are fighting towards that would demand people give up their personal identities and assume some sort of gender fluidity. But all that trans activists are asking for is the right to live their lives in peace as the gender they identify—without experiencing job discrimination, housing discrimination, humiliation in public restrooms, and hate crimes. That’s it; that’s the grand trans agenda. There was this great Tweet thread going around about how the TERF version of a martyr is someone getting kicked out of a gay bar for wearing a hate group’s shirt and spouting transphobic slogans while trans people are busy sending each other the same $20 for fundraisers necessitated from lost jobs, housing discrimination fallout, and non-trans-inclusive health insurance. Trans people are just trying to live.
Trans writers, editors, and publishers are attempting to
enter the mainstream literary community – to have increased visibility and
reach beyond the “choir” – but we don’t really have a lot of control as to
whether or not the mainstream community will have us, which is why we often
have to make our own spaces. Eventually, we get chastised for having our own
space at all – from the mainstream communityclaiming we are being
exclusionary—and from our allies claiming that we’re separating ourselves and
causing an “elite,” secret collection of knowledge.
It reminds me of that Alex Norris webcomic ( https://tmblr.co/ZJf5Lg2irxa_D).
The first cell shows a grouping of gray blobs approaching three pink blobs
saying “You do not fit in here.” The second cell shows pink blobs in a smaller
enclosed space saying “Okay, we will make our own place.” In the third cell,
gray blobs approach the smaller space saying, “Why are you excluding us,” and
the pink blobs respond “Oh no.”
Often cisgender writers will be published telling trans
stories, and they’ll be heralded as brave and insightful, heaped with praise.
When transgender writers try to publish and tell our own stories, we’re told
there isn’t an audience for our stories. You see this play out time and again
in Hollywood for movies as well.
But, trans artists and activists continue to do the work,
because we need to. It’s necessary to tell our stories and demystify our
existence, for our survival, when the opposing viewpoint is that we shouldn’t
exist and that our existence is dangerous. We make our own publications, zines,
chapbooks; we self-publish and attend zine fests and spread that information as
much as we can without the acceptance or help of the mainstream literary
community.
The good news is that I’ve seen a bit of a shift with the
smaller mainstream publishers. There seems to be more of an effort to pay
attention to who is telling the story and more of an effort to bring in
creators from historically marginalized communities in general. I think the
biggest things that allies could do is ask for those stories and encourage that
change; show there’s a market; prioritize and amplify stories written about
trans people by trans people. If our allies show there’s a market demand and
that those who tell the stories matter to them as readers, free-market
capitalism says that those in decision-making positions in the literary
community will have to supply.
CBJ: Thanks for sharing your vision and mission with us, Chris. You, your peers, and your allies are changing narratives about LGBTIQA2+ realities, having the potential to change society, including Formalist aesthetics and the literary establishment.
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Clara B. Jones is a Knowledge Worker practicing in Silver Spring, MD, USA. Among other writings, she is author of /feminine nature/ [Gauss PDF, 2017]. Clara, also, conducts research on experimental literature, Surrealism, radical publishing, as well as, art & technology.
The Up Drafts is an ongoing series of essays and interviews that examine creativity, productivity, writing process, and getting unstuck.
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BY NANCY REDDY
I love a list. I love the buzzy hum I get from crossing through the items I’ve completed, and I’ve even been known to start my list-making by jotting down the things I’ve already done, just to get a little jump start of completionist satisfaction. So it seemed to make good sense that I could apply this same idea to get my writing done: make a big list of all the writing projects I’m cooking up, then let all the energy of those combined good ideas propel me toward the finish line. At various points in the last year, I’ve made lists of essay ideas, lists of magazines where I’d like to publish, lists of research projects, lists that start with the triumphant all-caps HERE ARE MY GOOD IDEAS.
So why is it that, for a long time, I wasn’t actually taking those good ideas all the way through finished drafts?
Talking with Jessica Abel, a Philadelphia-based cartoonist, author, and educator, whom I interviewed via Zoom, helped illuminate a major error I’d made. Though I’d named lots of goals, I hadn’t actually made any of them a priority. Abel, who coaches creative folks working on a wide range of projects, insists that you can only really have one priority at a time. And I’m a convert: since adopting her maxim that you need One Goal to Rule Them All, I’ve been able to start ticking items off that big list.
I like to think of it as The Magic of One Thing.
Abel explains it like this: when you have two or three or four (or a whole huge ambitious list) projects you want to work on, but you split your time between those projects, it’s hard to make any serious headway on any particular project. Your time is fractured, and so is your attention and your energy. In contrast, she argues, once you have just One Thing:
If you’re spending chunks of time all week on the same thing, your brain is going to be working overtime on it. When you’re in the shower: brainstorm. When you’re in the car: things are clicking together. Have your notebook or voice notes app handy. You will have ideas. I guarantee it.
The magic of One Thing, in other words, isn’t just the power of hour after accumulated hour on a project; it’s that each hour of work is actually multiplied by the way the project takes up residence in your brain – when you’re seriously working on a project, your brain keeps at it, even when you’re not focused on your computer screen or notebook, on adding words to the project.
I’ve also found, counterintuitively, that One Thing feels more urgent than several. When I write down four projects I’m going to work on during a week, I can poke at each one for a bit, probably make a bit of progress on each, and end the week without any real clarity about the outcome of that intermittent work. But if I name just one or two things–projects with clear milestones attached–I feel more accountable to myself.
And completing projects creates its own kind of propulsive energy. When I spoke with Abel, she called this the “dopamine hit” of finishing a project. That’s certainly something I’ve experienced in the last few months. When I pitched this column at the beginning of the year, I could feel the sticky goo of all my good unfinished projects following me around and weighing me down. (I don’t think I’m the only one! Abel told me that she’s seen people get stuck in two different ways. While perfectionism and fear of failure can be obstacles at the early stage of a creative career, people who’ve had some success and are getting offers to work on lots of projects often end up being overcommitted and not being able to make headway with any particular thing.)
Abel also had some advice about how to choose your One Thing. Her article on One Goal outlines the key principles, and Her What’s Stopping You checklist is a great place to get started in thinking about your creative life more broadly.
If you’re really having a hard time choosing where to start, Abel suggests choosing “something that feeds your future self”–and letting go of projects that will lead you in a direction you don’t want to go. Many of us have half-finished projects we’re carrying around with us, and the time we’ve put into them can feel like an obligation to take them to completion; Abel calls that Idea Debt, and encourages the people she works with to focus their energy instead on completing the projects that will be most meaningful for them now and in the future, rather than the ones in which they’ve already invested a lot of time.
For longer projects, One Thing often requires identifying milestones – carrying out X research, creating an outline, drafting the proposal, writing a chapter, and so on. Breaking up a project like this allows people to still have a sense of momentum and completion.
Talking with Abel also helped me in my ongoing struggle to rethink the relationship between creativity and productivity. When I asked her how she thinks about productivity, Abel responded that most of the time when we talk about productivity, “it’s about literally producing stuff without any regard to what the stuff is. And to be more productive means to take the same amount of time and put more things in there.” While there are parts of our life where this might make sense – fold more laundry, answer more emails, and so on – Abel argues that creative work actually requires more blank space. Abel suggests the “really crucial reframe” of productivity culture and insists that we instead think about “creating margin, not about doing more stuff.”
I wrote a bit about ways of tracking time and quantifying progress in an earlier column, and here, too, Abel had insight. She said that, if you’re invested in measuring your work, it’s preferable to think in terms of time, rather than word count. Abel says that “my experience shows that counting words tends to be not helpful. Because what’s the quality of the words?” Instead, she says she’s seen that just putting time back into the project can be enormously helpful. Even if you only have 15 minutes a day, she says that can be “a way to get yourself unstuck and get back in touch with your project.” (I’ll come back to measurement in a few weeks because this link between creative work and the capitalist language of outcomes and products is a current obsession of mine!)
If you’re interested in learning more about Jessica Abel’s creative work, or her work with coaching folks who have gotten stuck in their creative lives, her website is full of helpful resources. I completed the Creative Compass Minicourse, and she frequently offers both free webinars and the paid Creative Focus Workshop. Even getting her email blasts functions for me as a kind of regular “hey you! What are you working on?” which is the kind of no-nonsense nudge I really thrive on.
As Abel puts it, her work is less about creative productivity and more about “building a resilient and sustainable creative life.”
So what’s your One Thing? What project can you invest 15 minutes in today?
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NANCY REDDY is the author of Double Jinx (Milkweed Editions, 2015), a 2014 winner of the National Poetry Series, and Acadiana (Black Lawrence Press, 2018). Her poems have appeared or are forthcoming in The Gettysburg Review, Pleiades, Blackbird, Colorado Review, The Iowa Review, Smartish Pace, and elsewhere, and her essays have appeared most recently in Electric Literature. The recipient of a Walter E. Dakin Fellowship from the Sewanee Writers’ Conference and grants from the New Jersey State Council on the Arts and the Sustainable Arts Foundation, she teaches writing at Stockton University. She’s working on a narrative nonfiction book about the trap of natural motherhood.
We’re rounding out our [PANK] Book Features with Monica Prince’s Choreopoem, How to Exterminate the Black Woman, a linguistically beautiful display of struggle and strength.
In a country grappling with its bloody history and uncertain future, How to Exterminate the Black Woman illuminates the struggle of the Black woman trying to thrive in a society seeking to consume and erase her. Set after the murder of Sandra Bland, or Trayvon Martin, or Emmett Till, this choreopoem takes place in the collective memory of American Black women, represented by Angela fractured into six emotions: fear, loss, silence, expectation, fury, and new. Through chanted sestinas, yoga-inspired dances, and a chorus of the subconscious, How to Exterminate the Black Woman confronts readers and audiences with the terrors and triumphs that mark Black women in the United States, from burying their murdered children and surviving rape to going natural and falling in love. More than just #BlackGirlMagic, this choreopoem casts a literary spell, demanding empathy, action, and humanity from the stage.
As we isolate, let us reflect. Consider the light through this deeply meditative, intense lyrical collection of essays. To Limn / Lying In by J’Lyn Chapman is our 2019 Nonfiction Book Contest Winner as chosen by Maya Sonenberg.
Taking its inspiration from the artist Uta Barth’s photographs of the sun as it enters her home and the poet Francis Ponge’s notebooks kept during the German occupation of France, this collection of lyric essays contemplates light as seen through the domestic space and its occupants, predominantly the author’s young children. Meditations on how through light the external world enters into and transforms the private spaces of self and home inextricably link to the author’s writing on life, or the giving of life. These vocabularies weave and tangle while the essays’ forms depict the staccato rhythms of thought and the estrangement of time one experiences when living with children. The essays can be read as standalone pieces, yet build on one another so that patterns emerge, like the obviation of how language serves to illuminate and veil meaning, the repetition of and ekphrastic approach to religious imagery, and the ineffable experience of depression. These essays continually return to the speaker’s admission that the life one gives another is ultimately unsustainable and that despite this catastrophe of living there is the resilience and bewilderment of being together.
“In J’Lyn Chapman’s To Limn/Lying In language becomes a breathing body we live inside even as the book’s heightened finely-tuned intelligence revels in each of its recurrent images (light, pregnancy, babies, mother, mothering, family). Each section, each spin, spirals and expands, connects terms unexpectedly, “emergence” and “emergency” for example idea, bringing them full term, until we are born into a world in which every word, every state of being a woman, is new. ” – Maya Sonenberg
We could not be more pleased to announce the April release of Christine Hume’s little book A Different Shade for Each Person Reading the Story, a disability-forward essay that melds memoir, neurology, chromopoetics, and literary criticism into an ecstatic embodiment of an illiterate girlhood. Shaped as an index, rather than a primary text, Hume posits the cruel optimism of reading, which promises to shape brains and lives, against the dyslexic’s subterfuge intelligence. In vignettes, meditations, lapses, guesses, and fragments, all refracted through the color red, this work questions what reading means and how we come to claim it.
“What delicious diligent indolence” is what Keats called reading, Christine Hume tells us in her mesmerizing new book on dyslexia, A Different Shade for Each Person Reading the Story. Leave it to Keats, and now Hume, to come up with a wonderful definition not only for the mysteries of dyslexia, but also for poetry and the human mind. “As you read,” she tells us,” can you hear my voice in your head? Does this sentence reach for your hand across the table?” This is a small sample of the wonders to be found here, a book/essay/poem/colloquy on the nature of thinking as well as feeling, on the voice in our heads powerful enough to reach across the table of time to offer comfort, and such delicious indolence. ” – Philip Schultz, Pulitzer Prize Winner