EDUCATION

[Two black guys walk into a bar.  One is light-skinned, and the other is bi-racial, but his skin is slightly darker.  The difference in hair texture betrays the racial distinction.  The light-skinned one is younger, about twenty-six.  He is wearing a hotel porter’s outfit unbuttoned at the collar.  The bi-racial man is slightly older at about twenty-nine and is taller with a thicker build.  He is wearing a cook’s uniform, also undone at the collar, with sleeves rolled above his forearms.  The two are halfway through a game of pool.  A near-empty pitcher of beer sits next to an empty pitcher on a bar stool near the table.  The state of politics and Barack Obama gets mentioned by the light-skinned black guy between billiard shots.  The bi-racial cook responds.]

Yeah, I voted for Obama, but Im not one of those niggas that thinks he should give his shit back.  You know the ones Im talkin’ about.  The ones that go on and on about how he used his blackness to win the election.  Like that shits some kind a crime.  Come on, bro, the people that been in power been doin’ the same shit since this country was founded.  Only they didnt win elections because they was white, they won that shit because they wasnt black.  You know what I’m sayin’?  They made it so whatevers different has to be bad.  It dont matter if there aint no real difference.  To be good, they just got to be the same.  And if they is the same, then i’s all good.  They been usin’ this same trick to make a person feel like bein’ black is somethin’ that a person has to overcome in order to make somethin of themselves.  Like the color of they skin is a yoke around they neck that somehow holds em back.  (What’s that look about?)

Hold on now….

True, but still….

Now come on, bro, skin color aint got nothin to do with it.  It’s not the skin, it’s the system.  A system that uses differences for its benefit.  The same system that separates the Haves from the Have-Nots.  It just so happens to be that the majority of this county’s Haves happen to be white and the majority of the Have-Nots happen to be people of color.  It’s a sly mother fuckin  system.  It’s the kind of system that operates on a cultural level, makin niggas feel like doin ordinary shit is some sort of accomplishment.  (What was that shit Chris Rock said?) Yeah, that’s it, “Niggas always wantin credit for some shit they supposed to do.  Like, ‘I take care of my kids’ or, ‘I aint never been to jail.’”  How many times have you heard some nigga at work sayin some shit just like that?  Or that busboy from the Raw, Tyrone?  Yeah.  And, you know, Chris Rock’s right.  You’re not supposed to go to jail.  You’re supposed to take care of your kids.  But that’s the way their system works, it sets the bar so low that you trip over it and struggle to get back up.  Only now it’s gettin more and more difficult to separate a Have from a Have-Not, based just on the color of they skin.

Take Barack Obama, for instance.  For all his looks, if you just ran into this dude on the street without his suit and shit, you’d probably think he was just another nigga from around the way.  But let’s look into his history.  Exhibit One: Barack Obama’s momma was white, which means, as we both know, when the black daddy dipped, Barack was raised solely by a white family with all of its relative advantages.  Exhibits Two, Three, and Four: Barack went to private prep, college, and grad schools, whose student body consisted, mainly, of privileged Haves—mostly whites.  (Nice Shot.)  Exhibit Five: Barack continued to live, and currently lives, in an income bracket well above this nation’s average.  So, by all presented accounts, Barack Obama has had a relatively privileged upbringin.  True: Barack is black.  But also true: he is a Have.  And he never has, and wont never be, a Have-Not.

(What you got for me?)

Okay, check Exhibit One, and whatever, bro, Obama said he didn’t even “find” his “blackness” until way after that shit….

See: Exhibit Five….

Two….

Damn I’m good.  Im fuckin schoolin you right now, kid.  You aint even got shit to say.  Actually, you know what I should be doin?  I should be chargin you a fee.  You know what kind a money colleges charge for this kind of knowledge.  You should be payin me to hear this shit.  But dont worry about it, though.  This one’s free.  So relax and take note, because class is in session.

(You rack this one.  I got break.)

Now, back to my original point, it fuckin tripped me out this one time this nigga—black as fuckin midnight—said that Obama should give back his election.  Tellin me some bullshit like, he only won because he got the Black Community behind him.  He said it wasnt because Barack would be lookin out for the community when he got elected. He then told me how Barack aint even black because of the reasons I already said, but you know, not as good.  Because, lets be honest, that nigga wasnt, and won’t never be, me.  (You got next one, right?)

Anyway, this same nigga then told me how Obama’s Communist government was keepin him from gettin rich by takin all his money away.  Givin it to some niggas he aint never even met.  Now come on, bro, there’s a whole bunch a shit that’s keepin this nigga from gettin rich.  Number one would be that this nigga was on this corner talkin to me when he should’ve been gettin ready for work the next day.  Barack Obama is the least of this nigga’s problems.  Yeah, problems.  Because of his situation, this nigga has to work his ass off just to keep a roof over his head.  Fuck gettin rich.  I got to give it to him, though.  Even if he couldnt eat, that nigga still made sure to get his kids they money.

But that’s how the Haves’s system works.  It does whatever it can to keep those without power from ever gettin it.  It’ll dangle the carrot of wealth and fame in front of niggas faces, distractin them from the treadmill they stuck on.  The treadmill that powers the system.  That’s why so many niggas push weight.  Sellin that shit that keeps those fools up 2^nd Street scratchin under they skin, tryin to tear out the poison that’s already in they veins.  What the sellers dont know is, sooner or later, they goin to get caught, or killed.  Get they asses sent down south, one way or the other.  All the while, the system gets stronger by takin away what the Have-Nots have, but it dont create new Haves.  For every 50-Cent or Biggie Smalls, there’s a million other niggas runnin in place, thinkin that they can get somethin for nothing—get rich, or die tryin.

You damn right….

If it has to, the system will go under the color lines.  It’ll turn virtues—especially hard work—into slurs.  As if bein born outside of money is some sort of a crime.  Tellin you lies, like, if you want to be smart, you got to be born that way.  It’s like how Mexicans get called wetbacks because they use their determination and desire—a desire and determination to do hard work for slave wages—as a reason to swim the Rio Grande.  (See, this dude knows what Im talkin about.  Give me some, my tanned-skinned nigga.)  Or how a white man’s a redneck for workin out in the sun and gettin burned on the back of his neck.  Or like how a black man is made the same as a fuckin gorilla just because he’s big and black and rooted in Africa.  Tell you what, the next time you in a white bar when the game or the fights on, see how long it takes before you hear some white dude say some shit like, “Whew, boy, that monkey sure can hit.”  Or, maybe, “That’s one thing about their people, they sure can run.”  It might not be them words exactly, but it’ll be somethin close.

That’s another thing.  This whole Barack-Obama-as-President-of-the-United-States-of-America thing has brought out a bunch of…. (What’s the word?)  Latent?  Yeah, that’s the word.  Latent.  (Nah, I’m out.  You fuckin kickin my ass.)  Anyway, this whole Barack Obama thing has brought out a bunch of latent racism in white folks.  Like, there was this one time at work when me and this white dude were talkin politics and whatnot and, eventually, the topic of Barrack Obama came up.  And you know what this white motherfucka said to me?  He looked me right in the eye and he said, “No more excuses.”  Aint that some shit.  He might as well’ve said, “Listen here, nigger, I don’t care how you were raised or what kind of upbringing you may have had—or where you live—if Barack Obama can become president, you can, too.  So, I don’t want to hear anymore nonsense like, ‘I never done had no daddy’ or, ‘I done had no momma around cuz’ she was always workin’ late and tryin’ to raise me so now I ain’t never gonna be no real man.’”

Fuck that shit.  Just because I work with this motherfucka, he thinks we cool.  Or maybe it’s because Im half white.  Like, if I saw this motherfucka on the street I’d start talkin to him and shit.  He dont live where I live.  He aint seen the shit I seen.  I aint never even met my white daddy.  And I tell you another thing, this motherfucka’s goddamn lucky I didnt get real on his ass.  Pull him back into the kitchen, pull him back into my world.  Throw his ass on the grill.  Brown his skin up real nice.  This motherfucka has no idea how real black people act.

Yeah….

Listen, let me drop one more freebie on you before you go.  Shit, I got to be at work in the mornin, too.  Let me just drop this last one on and get up out of here.  This one’s from my cousin, Jason, that’s goin to that magnet school just outside the Raw.  You know the one Im talkin about.  It used be called East Rawlins High before it got too “ethnic” and had to be re-gentrified.  They added a bunch of new classes to give the white folks a reason to send they kids back.  They even put in this new skate park across the street from the Rawlins Courts.  Now it’s called Hope High School or some shit.  You know what they mascot is?  Get this: they the Hope High Fightin Rebels.  Aint that some shit.

Anyway, my cousin tells me there was this set of white skater kids that used to use that new skate park, until this shit happened.  When my cousin told me the story I fuckin flipped.  I kind of remember when it happened.  There was somethin in the media like, “Hope High Student Assaulted.”  But, you know, the media tends to leave out those words that can make shit get a little too real.  Like a headline that says, “Male Hope High Student Sexually Assaulted.”  That kind of shit gets no face time.

The way my cousin tells it, what had happened was there was this skater set doin what skaters do. You seen em.  Most of em was pretty chill, but there was this one real cocky motherfucka with this big fuckin mouth. Every other word out this little white kid’s mouth—right out there in the Raw—was “nigger.”  Shit like: “You skate like a clumsy nigger,” or, “Fuck, I almost busted my lip like a fucking nigger,” or, “I’ve been skating so long that I’m starting to smell like a dirty nigger.”

It was probably somethin like that last one that did it for him.  Because, while him and his friends went on skatin, one of those Rawlins niggas crosses the street from the courts with his piece out. And this nigga wasnt black like Obama’s black.  This was a real black nigga.  The type a nigga that aint never had, and wont never have, any type of future.  One of those niggas that just got back from a bid down in Miami.  The type a nigga that only rocks a wife-beater.  The type a nigga that’s jacked, dreadlocked, and big as fuck.

Now the whole time this big fuckin nigga was walkin over to park, the kid just kept on runnin his mouth, “niggers” and all.  What happened next?  That Rawlins nigga walked right up on the white kid and pistol whipped him right in the fuckin mouth.  Knocked him right on his ass.  Busted out two of his front teeth.  The rest of this kid’s crew dont even know what to do.  They just stood there.  Then this Rawlins nigga put his gat in the kid’s mouth, pulled out his shit, and said somethin like, “You got some business to take care of.”

Before this kid’s crew even had a chance to do somethin, the Rawlins nigga pulled the gat out the kid’s mouth, pointed it at all the white kids and said, “Dont fuckin move.  All you motherfuckas is goin to watch.”

And they did.  Because he did.  And when it was over, the Rawlins nigga zipped up and said somethin like, “Now clean up your mouth, bitch.”

And that’s how it went.

My cousin said that the kid was pretty fucked after that.  He said that the kid was like a ghost.  He didnt talk to no one at school.  How could he?  How could someone talk to him and not see that Rawlins nigga.  The kid’s parents tried to keep the details secret.  They tried to give they kid a chance.  But that kind a shit always gets out, and it never takes long.  Word of mouth, you know.  And Im sure the kid’s friends didnt help much.  Bet they couldnt even look at him, let alone talk to him.  Who could, after watchin some shit like that?   They just went on livin they lives like they friend never fuckin existed.  And good fuckin luck tryin to find that Rawlins nigga.  Bet the only description them white boys could give was that the nigga was big and black and had dreadlocks.   Like a million other niggas livin in The Raw.

Thing is, them kids aint had no education.  Not the kind of education that me and you got.  Remember?  Remember the school we went to?  They had metal detectors so we couldnt take in knives and shit.  So we rented lockers knowin damn well we wasnt about to use no fuckin locker.  But those rented locks got used more than once for crackin heads.  Hook that shit on the end of your belt.  Carry it around just in case, always ready to come out swinging.

That’s the type of education that lets you know that there’s some shit you just dont say.  Some places you just dont go.  Some motherfuckas you just dont fuck with.  Them kids didnt know.  No one ever taught em.  But we damn sure got taught.  That’s just how it goes.  Some people get taught, and others dont.  Only now, the Have-Nots aint the only ones gettin taught.  These kinds of lessons are gettin passed out all the time.  For free.  Them kids just got they lesson a little later in life.  And they shit was a little more raw.  But that’s what happens when you get those lessons later in life.

I’ll tell you one thing though, that damn sure wouldnt be me.  Wouldnt’ve been you, neither.  That’s not to say that we’d be doin shit to end up in some shit like that, but, you know what Im sayin.  If we ever were in some shit like that, with a gun to our head and some nigga’s shit in our face, you know what we’d do.  We’d castrate the motherfucka right then and there.  Send him back to his boys not quite a man.  He might kill us, but we’d take his life.  You know what Im sayin.

True that….

But still, bro, that aint everythin.  This is somethin you cant understand.  My whole life I had to prove to niggas that I was black.  That aint no problem for white folks, though.  They see that shit plain.  I had to get my respect anyway I could.  Prove to both sides Im a man.  Now, Barack Obama may not be a Have-Not.  And he might not’ve ever had the same education me and you got.  But Im sure that some time in his past, he was walkin down the street without his suit and shit, and got the look I get every day.  And, for right now anyway, that’s good enough for me.

Sean Kevin Campbell is a graduate from the MFA program at Sarah Lawrence College and is currently studying data journalism at Columbia University. He’s had work published in The Bellevue Literary Review, Columbia Public Health, Martin: The Journal of Acoustic Guitars, and the Kirkus Review. He lives and writes in Bushwick, NY.