Fortune Cookies

I put myself through college delivering pizzas for a Chinese restaurant. The owners, two elderly brothers who wore long robes embroidered with cherry blossoms, wanted to corner the market. They sold sweet and sour curry and General Tao’s spaghetti, Asian quesadillas and Hunan-style sauerkraut. Two or three packages of fortune cookies were included with every meal. For years, I stole a package from every order I delivered and stashed it in a suitcase. On the last day of my lease, I sat in the middle of an empty apartment and opened over 4000 fortunes. Incidentally, they were all the same. I still have one cookie left, but I’m too afraid to open it.