5.10 / October 2010

Excerpts from Mike Buffalo’s Kotton Kandy Klouds (Or The Consummation of Empire), A Restoration of Zachary German’s Novel Eat When You Feel Sad:


There is a small package on Lobert’s mailbox near the cafeteria. Lobert picks it up. He looks at it. Lobert walks on to the cafeteria. The cafeteria is closed. Lobert opens the package with a plastic fork, breaks fork, opens package with finger. Lobert holds the book Mein Kampf by Adolph Hitler. He looks at the cover. He touches it. Lobert says “I like his hair.” Blyce says “What.” Lobert says “I like Hitler’s hair.” Lobert walks to recreation room, turns on TV. Lobert sits on couch with Blyce. Lobert looks at Blyce’s package, grabs his dick outside his pants. Blyce takes his dick out of pants, lets Lobert grab it. Blyce says “What color is his hair.” Lobert jacks-off Blyce’s dick “It’s black.” Blyce says “Yeah.” Blyce says “Is it long.” Lobert says “No. It’s short. But, kind of long on the front.” Blyce says “Fuck.” Lobert puts Blyce’s dick on his mouth. Blyce’s cum doesn’t shoot, but pours out. Lobert can’t keep all of Blyce’s cum on his mouth.

Lobert walks to the kitchen. He puts something onto the microwave. He presses some buttons. Blyce says “What are you making.” Lobert says “Some tots.” The microwave is illuminated. A dog moves quickly around the cafeteria. Lobert looks at the dog, then the microwave. Lobert picks up dog, puts dog in microwave. Blyce says “Whose dog.” Lobert says “I don’t know.” Blyce says “What’s its name.” Lobert says “Dog, I think. I think its name is Dog.” Blyce says “Let’s call him Hitler.” Lobert says “I think he’s a she.” Blyce says “Okay. Let’s call her Hitler.” Lobert says “Adolpha Hitler.” Blyce says “No. Just Hitler. Our dog, Hitler.” The microwave plate goes slowly around on circles on the microwave. Lobert opens the microwave. The dog moves quickly around the cafeteria. Lobert looks, says “He’s just a puppy.” Blyce says “It’s right there.” Lobert doesn’t see it. The dog disappears. Blyce says “It’s gone.” Lobert looks at the microwave. He looks at the TV. Lobert says “It’ll come back. Hitler always comes back.” Blyce says “That dog’s like a ghost.” Lobert says “That’s why we have it.” Blyce stands there. Blyce says “That’s why we have what.” Lobert says “Hope.”


Blyce’s dad is driving his car. There are three black trash bags in Blyce’s dad’s car. There are men in the black trash bags. A Chinese and two blacks. There are six dicks in Blyce’s dad’s car, though. There are other things, like old eight-track tapes, in Blyce’s dad’s car. One of the eight-track tapes is Kenny Rogers. Lobert turns on the radio. He pushes some buttons. Lobert listens to the Playboy channel on satellite radio. Lobert says “Do you fuck Leslie’s pussy right after you fuck my ass.” Blyce’s dad says “Don’t talk about Leslie that way.” Blyce’s dad turns off the radio. Blyce’s dad looks in the rear view mirror. He looks at the black trash bags. He says “Do you smell anything.” Lobert sniffs the air. Lobert says “No.” Then Lobert says “Oh my god, you’re such an asshole!” Blyce’s dad laughs.

Lobert says “Will you fuck me, now.” Blyce’s dad says “Help me with these.” Lobert helps Blyce’s dad remove the three black trash bags from the car. They put them in this ditch that’s covered with tall grass.

Blyce’s dad is in his car. Lobert is in the car. Blyce’s dad is driving slowly. He parks his car. Blyce’s dad locks the car doors. Blyce’s dad takes his cell phone out of his pocket. Blyce’s dad says “Pull down your pants.” Lobert pulls down his pants just below the ass. Blyce’s dad calls Leslie. Blyce’s dad says “Hey honey, I’m on my way home. Can I get you anything from the sandwich shop.” Blyce’s dad looks down on Lobert’s ass. Blyce’s dad puts his dick onto, then kind of through, Lobert’s asshole. Lobert makes a face, looks at the back seat, says “Thank you.” Blyce’s dad covers the phone, says “Shh.” Lobert puts his head down, doesn’t say anything, bounces a little, then looks at the back seat. The back seat is almost empty. Lobert makes a face like, maybe, he smells something. Lobert’s puts head down, eyes roll back onto face. Blyce’s dad talks to Leslie, says “No mayo.”


Lobert and Blyce walk onto a 7-Eleven. Blyce shoplifts a thing of candy. Lobert looks at Blyce, thing of candy. He looks at the cashier. The cashier frowns. The cashier says “Did you shoplift a thing of candy.” Blyce says “What.’ The cashier says “Did you . . .” then stops. Lobert and Blyce walk out of the 7-Eleven. Lobert asks Blyce “Did you shoplift that thing of candy.’ Blyce says “Yeah.” They walk onto a bookstore. They look at porno-mags. Lobert says “I want to get tied up.” Blyce laughs “Look at this guy. He’s got a major missile up his ass.” Lobert looks at the guy “Is he dead.” Blyce says “I don’t know. I think so.” Lobert looks closer “Is that a missile up his ass.” There is a young Chinese man behind the counter. Lobert walks to the counter, looks at the books displayed on the counter. Lobert says “Who is Charles Bukowski.”

The young Chinese man picks up a book, says “Um, I don’t know,” then walks from behind counter to front of counter. The young Chinese man says “Come.” The young Chinese man walks to back of store. Lobert and Blyce walk to back of store. The young Chinese man turns around “It’s my break.” Lobert says “Okay.” Blyce says “Who’s that Bukowski guy.” The young Chinese man unbuttons his pants, holds them, says “Um.” The young Chinese man points down. He says “May I suck your dicks.” The young Chinese man points down with his chin “May I.” Lobert looks at the young Chinese man’s shirt. Lobert puts his finger on the young Chinese man’s name tag.

Lobert says “Dave.”

Dave says “Yeah.”

Lobert says “I’m Lobert.”

Blyce puts his hand out “I’m Blyce.” Dave asks Lobert and Blyce if they will let him suck their dicks “It’s my break.”

Lobert unbuckles his belt “Okay. But, hurry.” Blyce looks at Lobert’s dick. Lobert says “Hurry, Dave.” Blyce pulls down his pants, looks onto Lobert’s eyes. Lobert looks back at Blyce. Lobert says “He’s Chinese.” Blyce laughs.

Dave swallows Lobert’s cum “I get off tonight at 8pm” puts Blyce’s dick in his mouth.

Lobert and Blyce look at each other. Lobert makes a fist, lightly punches his open hand. Blyce says “Yeah.”

Dave takes Blyce’s dick out of his mouth, slobbers “If you guys want to take a shit on me, you can. It’s my break.”

Blyce says “Good to know. Now keep sucking.” Blyce smiles. Lobert smiles, holds Blyce’s hand.

Blyce says “Thanks a lot, man” Lobert says “Yeah.”

Dave says “Yeah. Just so you know, if you guys want to shit on me now, on my face, you can go ahead and do it. My break’s almost over.”

Dave leaves.

Lobert says “He’s seems nice.” Lobert zips up his pants.

Blyce says “What was his name again. I thought he said Steve.”

Lobert says “Dave.”

Blyce says “Oh yeah.”

Lobert unzips his back pack. Lobert puts the book The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein in his back pack. “Nazi poetry,” he says. Lobert puts the book Total Abuse by Peter Sotos in his back pack. Blyce says “They have that here.” Lobert says “Yeah, weird. Huh.” Blyce says “Always makes me laugh.” Lobert picks up this other book. He looks at it for a long time. Then puts it down. Lobert zips his back pack. Lobert picks up a copy of Dennis Cooper’s Frisk from a bargain bin. Lobert and Blyce walk to the front of the store. Lobert buys a copy of Dennis Cooper’s Frisk. Blyce says “Don’t you already have this book.” Lobert says “Yeah.” Blyce looks through Dennis Cooper’s Frisk, reads the part about this cute boy getting murdered, looks at Lobert “What’s this book about.” Lobert says “Friendship.”