No Relation

[wpaudio url=”/audio/6_13/Kearnes.mp3″ text=”listen to this story” dl=”0″]

Luke stares into the lot through my bedroom blinds, telling me Ted will track his ass down. Must be good to know some man wants you bad enough, you feel the thirst thirty miles north. Thank the good and wonderful Jesus I’m so fucking plain. Every weekend at the bar, I watch myself in the wide, dark glass spread behind the liquor bottles. I’m too eager, always searching. My eyes latch onto any asshole headed my way.

At least when some guy takes me home, though, I know he’s after something I got inside me. Can’t be my body, not like when Luke finds a stray dick and wins a night free from his pig mom’s basement. They just want that tight ass, wanna see him peek over his shoulder and smile, his top lip disappearing beneath his bottom one.

“Ted’s too busy fucking to give a shit where you went,” I tell him after I’ve pulled myself together. I’m too wired to sit down but I keep near the bed so Luke won’t get spooked. He knows I want his ass, and I know he knows, but I pretend I don’t. “I was so fucking scared,” he mutters, not looking back.

“You’ve driven fucked up before.”

“I had a whole half-ounce on me,” he cries and grips the blinds like a baby grabbing a tit.

“How the fuck did you get that?”

“He gave it to me.”

“Who? Ted?”

“He wanted me to go away. The other guys didn’t want me there.”

“You got bounced from a fuck party?” I cluck, confident he won’t turn back and see me smirk. “Welcome to my shithole, sweet ass.”

“I knew one of those guys, I think.”

“All you twinks know each other. Goddamn hen party.”

Luke spins toward me, his sky blue eyes wide like the heroine of a silent movie. His pupils are huge, and it tickles me he’s stuck here at least till evening. His pig mom got wise to the obvious-as-shit side effects of a tweak trip. “He knows I’m here, bubba,” he finally says.

I’m not his brother, of course. But at first, we couldn’t ditch our real names fast enough. Luke was sixteen, and my parents bankrolled my studio apartment while I looked for a job that wasn’t too degrading. It turned him on to pretend we were brothers while we fucked on my couch. He was gorgeous and young and elusive as a father’s praise, so I played along. You like fucking your baby brother? What if Mom catches us? Stupid shit.

“Ted thinks I’m a fucktard,” I tell him. “He hates me more than he wants you. You’re totally safe.”

“I’m not even sure whose truck I drove back.”

“When did you get it?”

“Last night, from some lady.”

“One of Ted’s junkie bitches?”

“No, she had a house with a garage and a burglar alarm.”

I click my teeth and shake my head. “Ted is charming, no doubt.”

“What if she calls the police? They’ll think I stole it.”

“You kinda did.”

“He said that lady was a friend.”

“You don’t know what he said with your head in his lap.”

Luke can’t say shit to that. The poor boy has no wit whatsoever. I wish I wanted him for more than his tight ass and rotten-cheese youth, but I don’t. I think about him calling me brother and instantly get hard.

“You still got any of that half-ounce left?” I ask.

“What?”

“What Ted gave you.” Luke tries to lie, but he stinks at it. His only trick is acting dumb as a retard.

“Some, I guess.”

I pop up from the bed, enthused and pathetic like a children’s show host. “I’ll get the pipe.” I keep it in the living room. I discourage these wastes of flesh from crashing my bedroom. This is my room, and I think unkind things when I’m alone.

Luke begged to look out this window cause no other faced the parking lot. I caved in moments after he stumbled through my door an hour ago. I remembered how it felt to feel a boy that fucking sublime riding me. Tell me all brothers do this. They do it but don’t say shit.

I come back and find Luke smack against the blinds again, gaping into the pale gray light seeping through. He doesn’t realize I’ve returned so I march up to him. My chin grazes his shoulder, my knee brushes his thigh. He’s lost weight again. Back when we still fucked, his limbs were like the thick, heavy ropes from gym class you squeezed between your thighs, shimmying toward heaven. I bet Luke climbed a rope like that as a kid, bet he looked down from the top and wanted every last thing he saw. He’ll be bones by August.

I tell him he’ll forget Ted once we’re spun. I grab his crotch and mash it with my fingers. Just you and me this morning, I say. All fucking morning. I whisper in his ear, promise I won’t tell Daddy. I won’t tell a goddamn soul.