Heidi Czerwiec

MÉNAGE À TRIOLETS, by Heidi Czerwiec

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A [PANK] Blog guest series for National Poetry Month

 

DILDON’T

 

http://metro.co.uk/2015/04/26/remember-your-loved-one-by-putting-their-ashes-in-a-dildo-5168393/

 

Your lover can fuck you beyond the grave.
I’m just going to put this here:
a widow has needs. If you crave
your lover’s dick, from beyond the grave
his ash is yours, forever your slave
encapsulated in plastic gear.
I can fuck myself beyond his grave –
I’m just going to put this here.

 

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hauthorpicHeidi Czerwiec is a poet, essayist, translator, and critic who teaches at the University of North Dakota and is poetry editor at North Dakota Quarterly. She is the author of three chapbooks, including Self-Portrait as Bettie Page, and the forthcoming A Is For A-ké, The Chinese Monster. Recent work appears or is forthcoming in Barrow Street, Waxwing, and Able Muse, and you can visit her at heidiczerwiec.com

MÉNAGE À TRIOLETS, by Heidi Czerwiec

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A [PANK] Blog guest series for National Poetry Month

TWO SHADES OF GREY

 

I. Dear Mr. Grey:

All new lovers need to learn restraint.
Unless it’s sexy fun, you’re doing it wrong.
Your Red Room of Pain may make me faint
with desire: all lovers could use some restraint,
someone to show the ropes, the cuffs, the quaint
trappings of bondage, to come on strong.
But while all lovers need to learn some restraint,
your controlling lack of fun is doing it wrong. Continue reading →

MÉNAGE À TRIOLETS, by Heidi Czerwiec

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A [PANK] Blog guest series for National Poetry Month

WHAT CAN BROWN DO FOR YOU?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/29/3d-print-sex-toys-ups_n_6240784.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-sex

 

UPS redefines package delivery:
betting if you build it, they will come,
they’re providing a new service (for a fee).
UPS redesigns package delivery,
equipping 100 of their stores with 3D
printers (used to make sex toys by some,
but then, UPS defines “package delivery”).
If you build it, they will come.

 

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hauthorpicHeidi Czerwiec is a poet, essayist, translator, and critic who teaches at the University of North Dakota and is poetry editor at North Dakota Quarterly. She is the author of three chapbooks, including Self-Portrait as Bettie Page, and the forthcoming A Is For A-ké, The Chinese Monster. Recent work appears or is forthcoming in Barrow Street, Waxwing, and Able Muse, and you can visit her at heidiczerwiec.com

MÉNAGE À TRIOLETS, by Heidi Czerwiec

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A [PANK] Blog guest series for National Poetry Month

VALENTINE’S DAY BREAK-IN AT FUNERAL HOME

http://www.ledger-enquirer.com/2015/02/13/3564129_homeless-man-charged-with-necrophilia.html?rh=1

I like how we don’t need to talk.
Sometimes sex just leaves you cold,
you know? And women usually mock
how I don’t really want to talk,
but you, I’d place on a catafalque.
There’s not a lot who fill your mold.
I like how you don’t ever talk.
Sometimes sex just leaves you cold.

 

***

hauthorpicHeidi Czerwiec is a poet, essayist, translator, and critic who teaches at the University of North Dakota and is poetry editor at North Dakota Quarterly. She is the author of three chapbooks, including Self-Portrait as Bettie Page, and the forthcoming A Is For A-ké, The Chinese Monster. Recent work appears or is forthcoming in Barrow Street, Waxwing, and Able Muse, and you can visit her at heidiczerwiec.com

MÉNAGE À TRIOLETS, by Heidi Czerwiec

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A [PANK] Blog guest series for National Poetry Month

ONLY CONNECT

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/hook-up-apps/

 

With the newest, latest App
there’s many ways to make a connection:
with Tinder, Grinder, and 3nder, you’ll tap
(with the newest, latest App)
every horny lovelorn on the digital map,
and with Hulu, proof you’re free of infection.
Without the newest, latest App,
how’d we ever make a Basic connection?

 

***

hauthorpicHeidi Czerwiec is a poet, essayist, translator, and critic who teaches at the University of North Dakota and is poetry editor at North Dakota Quarterly. She is the author of three chapbooks, including Self-Portrait as Bettie Page, and the forthcoming A Is For A-ké, The Chinese Monster. Recent work appears or is forthcoming in Barrow Street, Waxwing, and Able Muse, and you can visit her at heidiczerwiec.com

MÉNAGE À TRIOLETS, by Heidi Czerwiec

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A [PANK] Blog guest series for National Poetry Month

 

PATRIOT ACT

 

Acts of congress are necessary
to preserve the perfect union intact.
So why do some folks, so contrary,
think Acts of Congress are necessary
to mandate who may pair off, marry?
Listen: we the people fuck;
these acts of congress are necessary
to preserve the perfect union intact.

 

***

hauthorpicHeidi Czerwiec is a poet, essayist, translator, and critic who teaches at the University of North Dakota and is poetry editor at North Dakota Quarterly. She is the author of three chapbooks, including Self-Portrait as Bettie Page, and the forthcoming A Is For A-ké, The Chinese Monster. Recent work appears or is forthcoming in Barrow Street, Waxwing, and Able Muse, and you can visit her at heidiczerwiec.com

MÉNAGE À TRIOLETS, by Heidi Czerwiec

Posted on by

A [PANK] Blog guest series for National Poetry Month

 

I’m a poet with a confession to make: I love writing in form. I know that seems conservative and tame, but verse can actually be quite subversive. I love the way the language presses up against the constraints of form’s corset, the heat it produces. As I’ve written elsewhere:

 …I prefer restriction in my diction,
meter’s mastery, the subtle friction
of stress at work, the language modified.
You would not imagine how straight-laced
I am, inside my bedroom, verse encased.

For my April guest column, I offer you a series of triolets about interesting sex titbits in the news. The triolet is a French tickler of a repeating form that’s like a compressed villanelle, a fun amuse-bouche for these short-takes on recent risqué events. Enjoy! Continue reading →