Mink Manual

[wpaudio url=”/audio/8_12/Cahn.mp3″ text=”listen to this story” dl=”0″]

Skeletal System

When Mr. Rappaport opens the box of dead minks in trash bags, you know it’s going to be a bad day. Then you learn that the minks aren’t just for today; you’ll dissect the minks slowly, exposing each organ system, from now through next week. Each pair of lab partners is assigned a mink. The minks must be treated with respect. Students will be responsible for their minks. No flinging of mink guts will be tolerated. Jokes involving fur coats are discouraged. You and your lab partner must construct a Mink Manual. This manual will count for twenty percent of your grade.



Endocrine System

Brad, your lab partner, wants to name the mink. You don’t think an animal you’re about to cut open should be named, but don’t say anything. He might get mad and make you do all the work. As you make the initial cut, from the throat through the abdominal cavity, Brad asks whether you like Nicholas. As a name for the mink? No, dummy. Brad points at Nicholas, who’s across the room, busy with his own mink. You do, but don’t want him to overhear and besides, Brad might tell everyone. Pretend you didn’t hear the question.



Digestive System

Stick a flag pin into the mink’s abdomen to indicate its stomach. Photograph the mink. Brad asks, again, whether you like Nicholas. Write an accompanying paragraph for your Mink Manual. Take an extra-long time spelling out thoracic cavity. Make sure that Nicholas is still across the room and busy with his own mink when you tell Brad that Nicholas is a nice guy,whydoyouask?



Respiratory System

Now that the minks have been cut apart and returned to their original trash bags after each dissection, the classroom is starting to smell even worse.



Circulatory System

Brad tells Gina who tells Marla who tells Seth that you maybe like Nicholas. Pray that Nicholas won’t find out until after the school year ends and you leave for Florida. Know that the rumor mill is anything but a slow churn. Your prayers will not be answered.



Urogenital System

Gina is dispatched to ask if you’ll go out with Nicholas. Before you can discern whether this is an actual question or a hypothetical question, Mr. Rappaport catches her at your lab table and reminds you to concentrate on your own minks. Across the room, Nicholas smiles, but maybe he’s just glad class is almost over.



Excretory System

It all happens fast. Before you get the chance to tell Gina to tell Nicholas that you’ll go out with him, he’s already interested in another girl: Emily wears a skirt to school even on dissection days and will probably get a hundred percent on her Mink Manual. She’s that kind of girl. Brad says he’s sorry he brought up Nicholas in the first place, for what it’s worth. Forget to answer the bonus question for your Mink Manual, even though you need the extra credit, and you know that minks are promiscuous in their mating habits and do not form bonded pairs.