When People Ask If I’m Going To Give Evelyn A Brother Or Sister

I say no and they look at me as if my mouth is full of staples. As if not wanting another child means I hate the one I have. Is it a crime to be this selfish with my body? It’s true: I don’t want more stretch marks because I hate the ones I have. There’s a photograph that’s been circulating the Internet lately, of a woman proudly bearing her stretch marks saying something about being a tiger and having earned her stripes. Though I wouldn’t feel less of a mother without mine. Sometimes I ask Google Are single children more or less happy than children with siblings? I think about my siblings, how my little brother is going to Afghanistan soon and how I would put stretch marks on my face if it meant he’d be safe. I’d wear them like earrings. I’d eat them for breakfast if it meant that my 13-year-old sister never looked in the mirror and thought she wasn’t good enough. It scares me, how much control I have over my daughter’s life. How much I don’t.