Falcon Jackson

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Falcon, your world would be different if Michael still lived. He would have followed your story from the beginning. He would have watched from his helicopter as the balloon floated on. He would have known the truth, because he would have sensed it, and he would have shaken his head, as he and your father’s empty balloon hovered.

Falcon, even when you’re eighteen you’ll have a hard time getting laid. Girls at school will not want to put your testicles in their mouth. They will not give you their underwear, because you won’t be famous. If you had kept quiet you might have been famous, or, better yet, if Michael was still alive he would have adopted you and bought you your own monkey. He would have taught you the moon walk and how to grab your genitals. But he wouldn’t have grabbed your genitals, because you would have been his famous son.

Falcon Jackson, if you were real the world would be a better place. The people in the world would be divided into two groups. The first group would be people who loved you. The second group would be people who adored you. Sometimes the groups would fight each other, but they wouldn’t fight long because you’d be able to fly. You’d be able to fly and you would have very strong ears. You would hear them from way above as you sped through the clouds. You’d be up there gathering lost balloons with your pet monkey who could also fly. This would be how you passed your time: You’d rescue lost balloons and you’d bring them back to the crying children who lost them. You’d bring them back to the crying children, and then the children and the balloons would smile. Then you and your pet monkey would high five, and you’d fly back into the sky. You would do this until you heard people fighting about you, and then you’d come down. You’d come down and you’d stand between the angry mobs of people. You’d stand between the people, and then you and your monkey would sing “Just Good Friends.” You’d sing all the Michael Jackson parts and your monkey would sing the Stevie Wonder parts. You’d also dance. You’d do the moon walk and you would grab your genitals. The monkey would not dance but he’d roll his head around like Stevie Wonder and put on dark sun glasses. Then the people who loved you and the people who adored you would stop their fighting. They would stop their fighting and they would have a party. At the party they would roast a whole pig. The whole pig would have an apple in its mouth. The apple would remind you of a balloon. You’d take to the sky before the pig was even carved.

Falcon, you would still be half Japanese if Michael Jackson adopted you. You would be half Japanese and all Jackson.

Falcon Jackson, your monkey would be named Shasta like the drink. Falcon Jackson, your favorite drink would be Shasta. But not Shasta the monkey, Shasta the drink. You’d be particularly fond of sangria Shasta, but you’d never turn down any flavor of Shasta. You’d like sangria Shasta, but you wouldn’t like sangria. Falcon Jackson, you’d never drink alcohol at all. You’d never drink alcohol, but you wouldn’t shake your head at those who did. Sometimes you’d drive drunk people home from bars, but you’d talk to them on the way. You’d talk to them on the way, and you’d let them sit in the front seat. You’d let them sit in the front seat, and you’d let them play with the radio. You’d let them play with the radio, and sometimes you’d even sing along. You’d especially sing along if a Michael Jackson song came on. Your favorite Michael Jackson song would be “Smooth Criminal.” “Smooth Criminal” would be your favorite song, but you would never hit anybody.

Falcon Jackson, there would be no attic in your house. There would be a door that looked like it was to an attic, but when you passed through it you’d be on another floor. That floor would also have and attic door that led to another floor. And the next floor would have an attic door that led to another floor. And your house would go on like that forever.