Baby Permit

You have to get a learner’s permit and attend
Driving school for six months before you can
Even book your driver’s test but you can just take
Your baby home from the hospital without
Any training or certification or psychological evaluation.
One of my sons was born with eleven toes
I thought in the excitement of counting fingers and toes

But I was mistaken and his umbilical cord I confused
With an extra penis. I was sitting on the toilet when I
Got home when a black ant, am I ant-racist?
Sauntered across my naked foot as though he owned
The joint and it was all out war. I began spraying
The kitchen with over-the-counter poison and concealing
Those little white traps all over the place like Easter eggs.

Needing more fire power, an exterminator came to our house
And relieved my fear about how safe his chemicals
Were by drinking some. Not to sound insensitive but he
Seemed retarded. I didn’t want ants, any ants,
Even red ants, in the baby’s crib on my watch, in my new
Responsible role. It all goes so fast. One minute they’re babies
And the next, with lives of their own, they’re killing their own ants.