Q&A with my therapist

do you do that often, think about death?

he couldn’t hold me in one piece i always came undone so he left     my brother did that once

that wasn’t the question

we only know how to come back     never how to stay

how does that make you feel?

once when i was three he threw a key at her because she didn’t listen it fell next to my leg

i saw the whole thing

who did that?

once my grandmother had thick black hair you see they always leave even if they stay they take you

with them

that wasn’t the question

i didn’t want to become her so i left

i thought he was the one who left

there are many ways to leave besides leaving you know

how many times did you leave?

my mother says the evil eye is making me age but i don’t believe that

why is that?

i was like this before anyone looked at me    

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LAMEESE BADR is a Sudanese poet based in Khartoum; she holds an MA in International Studies in Education and Development from the University of Birmingham and specializes in gender and development, non-formal education, and arts-based research. She works with young women through engaging them with alternative empowerment models that center and explore their psychosocial experiences as Sudanese women.