Huckster: How To Inverview For A Job In Advertising

Looking for a job in advertising? Plenty of people are, that’s for sure. Here’s a little trick: open up any phone book and, chances are, someone in that book is looking for a job in advertising. Just kidding. There’s no such thing as a phone book.

These pro-tips should help you stand out from the rest.

First of all, the key to having a good interview is to never let them see you sweat, even if you’re really nervous. This is integral. However, if you do start to sweat, try this: remove some clothing, one piece at a time, until the temperature is just right. If you’re a guy, start with the cummerbund. If that doesn’t do the trick, take off your top hat, as heat can get trapped under hats and cause your body temperature to rise. Keep removing clothing if the temperature still isn’t right. I would definitely try to keep your rubber Milton Berle Halloween mask on for as long as you can, though. In the end, this stripping down will not only make you feel more comfortable, but, based on my experience, impress the inverviewer, showing him or her that you’re proactive, brazen, and a problem-solver. In fact, the last time I did this, the interviewer felt I was such a valuable asset that he had security escort me out of the building. Talk about an ego-booster!

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Obviously, before you even walk into the agency, you should do your research, and there’s no better way to learn more about yourself than by seeing a psychiatrist. The self-help section at your local bookstore is another great place to see what you’re doing wrong as well as learn why she left you. Also, try writing in a journal. Chances are, all the answers are hiding right there in the old noggin, just like mother keeps telling you.

A good start to an interview can really set the mood and get the ball rolling. When the interviewer offers you a seat, try turning the chair around and sitting on it backwards. This will show the interviewer that you’re unconventional and not too tightly wound; it says you like to have fun and you’re a straight-shooter. Maybe even tell that to the interviewer right out of the gates, before he or she gets a chance to speak: “Listen here, I like to have fun. I’m what you call a straight-shooter.” You can even tip your top hat just so, to show your dapperness.

The middle of the interview is by far the most important part. This is where the interviewer will ask you a bunch of questions. It’s improtant to remember that you have every right to not answer a question if it makes you feel uncomfortable or if you don’t know the answer. If you do come across such a question, simply say, “I plead the fifth.” I pled the fifth 28 times in my last interview. Did I get the job? No. But who’s to say I would’ve landed the job if I did answer all 28 questions?

Near the end of the interview, the interviewer will most likely ask if you have any questions. A great question to ask is, “Would you like a cigar?” (assuming you put cigars in the inside pocket of your jacket) or “Which psychiatrist do you see?”

After the interview, it’s customary to place your top-hat on the interviewer’s head, or at least that’s what I think. I like to say something clever while doing it, like, “You’re the tops” or “Hats off to you…and on you!” On your way out the door, stop at the threshold and turn your head to give him or her one last look. Wink. Then confidently walk out of the office.

Remember, just because you’ve left their offices doesn’t mean the interview is over. You’ll want to send a thank-you letter to the interviewer. You can keep it short. For instance, here’s what I wrote in my last thank-you letter: “Dear ______: Thank you for meeting with me, even knowing you probably won’t hire me.” That’s it. Quick, simple. Get in there, then get out. Besides, if you do have more to say, you can always say it in one of the other 17 thank-you letters you’ll send him that month.

In the end, just remember to stay calm. And don’t forget to make small talk, too. Bond with him or her. Maybe ask for a little money, just to get you by till that new job rolls around. Hey, you gave him a free top hat and cigar—it’s the least he can do!