Ask The Author: Casey Hannan

Casey Hannan’s piece, “Piano Hands”, appears in the July Issue. He tells us here about his crushes and plans for seduction.

1. What key do your hands play when you crack your knuckles?

 The key of I wasn’t a music major. We’re in luck, though, because my roommate was a music major. She tells me keys don’t work that way unless you’re one of those annoying people with perfect pitch who hears the squeal of tires and says, “I wonder what key that was in?”

2. Who are you crushing on?

 I have crushes on men with gaps between their two front teeth. I don’t know any men like that right now. I have internet crushes, but those are gappy in a different way. 

3. How would you seduce me?

I would tell you everything I like in a man, and all of those things would pertain to you.

4. Why did you decide to end “Piano Hands” the way you did? Have you seen a head actually do what you’ve described?

No, I’ve never seen a head do that, but I do remember slipping on pee in my elementary school restroom and knocking myself out on the urinal trough. My mother told everyone I split my head open. She made it sound like my whole head came unzipped on the floor, but really I just had a bruise on my forehead. Having crushes is just like that.

5. Who have you grounded?

I don’t ground people. I’m the person who trusts you to make the choices you make.

6. What is your favorite song involving a banjo?

 That Sufjan Stevens song, “For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti.” Sure, there are songs that make better use of the banjo, but they aren’t songs I crush on. I imagine Mr. Stevens singing to me in the bed of a truck. We’re sitting in lawn chairs. The lyrics whistle through the gap between Mr. Stevens’ two front teeth. There’s no one around to edit that little whistle out. It’s my own private whistle. I’m drinking bourbon and Mr. Stevens is drinking Clearly Canadian. This was the hardest question, by the way.