This Modern Writer: Blurbs of Myself by Marc Schuster

I don’t read books, I just read blurbs, and Marc Schuster’s are the best in the business!  – Lance Caldecott, internet lurker and blurb connoisseur

I contacted The New Yorker. I contacted the Times. I even contacted my local paper, but would any of them even LOOK at my book? NOOOOO! But Small Press Reviews did. Thank you, Marc Schuster, for acknowledging my existence!  – Ned Bynum, self-published author of Down Off the Ledge: How I Came to Love Myself Despite All the Bullshit

Marc Schuster is a whore in the best sense of the word. He’ll read your book and review it on your terms—not some lame, arbitrary aesthetic principles you pulled out of your ass. I’M TALKING TO YOU, MICHIKO KAKUTANI! WHY WON’T YOU RETURN MY CALLS?  – Irene Morgan, publicist

At this point, I owe Marc seven cases of beer and a sloppy, wet kiss on the lips—with tongue! Plain and simple, Marc is the man!  – Barry Graham, editor and publisher

Marc Schuster missed the point of my book entirely, but he compared me to Thomas Pynchon! Do you believe it? Thomas F-ing Pynchon!  – David Prior, author of The Yoke of the Horde

Embarrassingly effusive! Generous to a fault! Is this guy some kind of leper? Does he need friends that bad? I haven’t even finished writing my book yet, and he’s already posted the review. I mean, really—WTF?  – Audrey Corcoran, poet

[Schuster’s] reviews melt into blurb-speak like butter on popcorn. His gift for the pithy turn of phrase is matched only by his desire to see his name in print—on books, on blogs, on police blotters. Honestly, there’s nothing this guy won’t do for a little recognition.  – Name Withheld, Marc’s Parole Officer

Twelve shades of purple– Nebulous to the extreme– Do these blurbs mean anything? Anything at all?  – Kerri Schuster, Marc’s wife

Marc Schuster blurbs for the sheer love of blurbing. Books, movies, music—you name it, he’ll blurb the hell out of it. Hell, he’s even blurbing this blurb right now—and it’s a blurb about blurbs! That’s how much he loves to blurb.  –Marc Schuster, blurbist

Even if God had an infinite number of fingers and toes, He or She or It could never calculate the sheer awesomeness of Marc’s blurbs. The man is a genius who lives and breathes the juicy bon mot, a man of the people with a good word for even the most obscure among us.  –Tom Powers, co-author of The Greatest Show in the Galaxy

Seriously, though, did he even read the book?  – David Prior, aforementioned author of The Yoke of the Horde

Marc Schuster is the Editor of  Small Press Reviews and the Associate Fiction Editor of  Philadelphia Stories magazine. When he isn’t obsessing over his role in the world of small presses, he teaches English at Montgomery County Community College in Blue Bell, Pennsylvania.