Ask the Author: Noah Falck

Noah Falck’s Cincinatti, appears in the December issue. He talks with us about the shape of a poem, whether teaching encourages drinking, and TV as a soundtrack for sex.

1. Does being an elementary school teacher encourage the drinking of tequila?

I would say that being an elementary school teacher encourages a lack of style, which stems from a wardrobe doused with an abundance of sweaters sewn drunk with small animals, numbers, and fruit. Though in a positive light, it also encourages the idea of Friday nights and it’s endless cascade of possibilities, a feeling I love. I think anyone with a 9-5 knows what I am talking about here.

2. How does the shape of a poem determine how you fill that poem?

Poems to me are often shaped by an experience, which shifts into segments of sound, and only later a kind of architecture will arrive. With my most recent work, the idea of shape is almost a complete after thought, though I love those who seem to be able to write with a sense of shape at the forefront of their minds, say Zapruder’s Come On All You Ghosts, which I loved that, or anything composed by Graham Foust.

3. What kind of television makes the best background for sex in a seedy hotel?

If it were truly a seedy hotel it would likely not have a television at all, possibly the noise of rats in the ceiling, or whatever the evolution of cockroaches sounds like. And this would make it difficult to make love, not impossible, just difficult.

Though to answer the question plainly, I would have to say early episodes of Monty Python or the last season of Magnum P.I.

4. Why should one lick nostrils in multiples of four?

To express the side of us that is purely animalistic. It needs to come out in healthy ways. Sex is the healthiest way, of course, and by far the best. I would say shooting a machine gun at a full moon could be healthy too, but there is a fine line and I hate to advocate violence.

5. What lipstick do you like on your cheek?

A long-lasting, smear proof fairground dunk tank red.

6. What is the worst hotel you’ve stayed in?

When I was an undergrad some friends and I went down to see a Guided By Voices show in Cincinnati. There was no way we were going to make it back to Dayton that evening, so all five of us chipped in until we had $29.99 for a room just off of I-75 called The Interstate Motel, I think.

I remember the room being gray and there was a small television mounted on one of the walls. The television only had 3 channels and 2 of the channels were x-rated. There were two twin beds that would jiggle for a couple of minutes if you feed it a quarter.

At the end of a long night, I ended up sleeping on the floor with only a couple of hand towels for comfort. I actually slept pretty well, but when I woke up I had a Texas-sized headache. When I rolled over there was a handful of some of the largest cockroaches I had ever seen mounting each other in one of my friend’s bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.