A Writer Deconstructs His Rejection With an Angry Red Pen

A writer submitted a story that wasn’t right for us. We have to say no more than we can say yes. We take no pleasure in it. We sent this writer a form rejection without further commentary on his story, a rejection we send out hundreds of times a month and the same rejection used by every magazine who uses the submission manager. He quickly rejected our rejection with a delightful deconstruction of the rejection letter. It’s simply too good not to share. We have not amended his e-mail in any way so as to better preserve the irony. We stand corrected.

learn how to write, you fool. Let’s see: we appreciate? no: we appreciated, cause it’s past tense….you read the story and are responding. Then: ‘but unfortunately this submission’ why unfortunately? who are you to decide? and if you’re gonna use, unfortunately, at least take time to tuck it in with commas. Then: …was not right for pank. Why past tense: is not right for pank, is the proper tense. Add insult to injury: if I follow your sentence structure, then you mix present tense: appreciate, with past tense: was not right. You guys are a joke, and not a funny one.