Gallimaufry: Reading Lorrie Moore

If you’ve ever read Lorrie Moore, you know she’s a genius in the tragicomic world of literary fiction. If you’ve never read Lorrie Moore, then you will have no idea what this post is about, and for this I’m sorry. But you should read Lorrie Moore, because her work is damn fine.

A Glass-Half-Full Kind Of Guy Reads Lorrie Moore
I just read a collection of stories by Lorrie Moore and, oh, they are so funny! Seriously! I mean, I kept hearing how I should read her short stories, but it was one of those things I kept putting off, like going to the podiatrist. But I finally did it, and I’m so happy I did! I told all my friends to read her work, especially Danny because he suffers from depression and he could use a good laugh. Thank you, Lorrie Moore, for always putting a smile on my face!

A Glass-Half-Empty Kind Of Guy Reads Lorrie Moore
I just read a collection of stories by Lorrie Moore and, oh, they are so tragic. Seriously. It’s so sad how her characters long for so much but obtain so little (if anything at all). Dreams always falling apart, reality always smacking its frigid hand across the face of a dreamer. Luckily, I can control my melancholy, but I would never recommend her work to someone suffering from deep depression, especially someone like my friend Danny.

A Glass-Completely-Empty Kind Of Guy Reads Lorrie Moore
I’m dying of thirst. Honestly, I can’t even think about reading right now, I’m so thirsty.

A Glass Reads Lorrie Moore
What’s a Lorrie Moore? I’m just a glass. I don’t know very much about the human world.

A Person Who Hates Exclamation Points Reads Lorrie Moore
Christ.

A Person Who Loves Exclamation Points Reads Lorrie Moore
I love her work! Oh, and get off your high horse, Person Who Hates Exclamation Points Reads Lorrie Moore. The exclamation points are being used satirically anyway, so just chill out. Jeesh.

A Person Who Hates Exclamation Points Reads Lorrie Moore
Why don’t you mind your own business, Person Who Loves Exclamation Points Reads Lorrie Moore. The day I use an exclamation point, satirically or otherwise, is the day I die.

A Person Who Loves Exclamation Points Reads Lorrie Moore
Oh, yeah. I bet I can make you use an exclamation point!

A Person Who Hates Exclamation Points Reads Lorrie Moore
Oh, yeah. Go ahead and try, asshole!

A Person Who Loves Exclamation Points Reads Lorrie Moore
Ha! I just did it! Looks like today’s the day you die.

A Person Who Hates Exclamation Points Reads Lorrie Moore
Whatever. It was just a figure of speech. I’m not really going to die today.

A Person Who Hates Figures Of Speech
Ugh.

A Glass Reads Lorrie Moore
What’s an exclamation point?

Danny Reads Lorrie Moore
Not much of a reader. Let me know when the movie comes out.