Ask The Author: Gregory Wolos

In December there was “Dr. Moreau’s Pet Shop” by Gregory Wolos.

1. What songs would be on the first album of Dr. Moreau’s Pet Shop Boys?

“My Sweet M’ling”; “Kiko in the Dumps”; “Svidridgaylov’s Dream”; “Fay Wray Fay”; “Lost Soul Growl.”

2.What does being fresh out of rehab look like?

Do you remember the scene when Hamlet confronts Gertrude in her bed chamber after he exposes Claudius with the “play within a play”? In short order the prince (1) screams at his mother and drags her in front of a mirror so she can see how awful she is; (2) kills Polonius; (3) has a conversation with the ghost of his father, whom his mom neither sees nor hears. “Fresh out of rehab” is how I imagine Gertrude looks the moment her son exits her bed chamber, Polonius’s guts in tow.

3. What animal would you like to be spliced with?

Not a winged thing, because I’m afraid of heights, nor a water-dweller, because I’m afraid of drowning—I value my irrational fears, and I’m threatened by the possibility that they might be overcome by an injudicious splicing. I’m not eager to attract attention, so I don’t want to hook up with anything that would yield superfluous plumage or webbing. I think, for a couple of reasons, maybe I’d like to be spliced with a wisent. A wisent is a European bison; it resembles the American buffalo. My first reason for considering a wisent-splice is that the species is protected. What could be safer than merging my flesh with something that it would be illegal to harm? The second reason for splicing with a wisent is that I recently slaughtered one in a story, and my conscience would be eased by offering it a partial resurrection.

4. Who would you perform a tracheotomy for?

I’m not crazy about the sight of blood and have no surgical experience, but I think if a situation cropped up clearly requiring a tracheotomy, and no one else offered, I could do one for anybody. I wouldn’t hang out a shingle, though; I don’t want random chokers and suffocaters clogging up the porch.

5. Where did this story come from? Did it end where you wanted it to?

References to the child actress Annabelle Hadley first popped up in a story I wrote last year, “Svidrigaylov’s Dream.” Allusions to her in subsequent linked stories became inevitable, and eventually she insisted on a story of her own. But I’d victimized and objectified her before she’d ever had her own voice. One of my goals with “Dr. Moreau’s Pet Shop” was to give Annabelle a shot at redemption. I tried. She tried. But she succumbed to the burden of her history. (I know accept responsibility for inventing that history, but there it was, nevertheless.) In the end, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling on the tip of my own finger the suction of the tracheotomy straw she plugged, and the story was finished.

6. Would you listen to “Freebird” while on a plane?

Qualmlessly. A few years ago I realized most of my favorite superstitions were actually just obsessive-compulsions, and the romance sifted right out of them. It was like falling out of love with religion.