Ask The Author: Danez Smith

“First Time/Four Times” by Danez Smith was published in our December Issue. All the sexual questions we could think of for Danez are answered here.

1. How did you come up with hula hooping in a woman’s valley?

I was trying to think about all that happened that summer, and I remembered playing all kinds of kid games.

2. Is it better to lose your virginity to someone you love or just throw it away on someone you are ok with?

As long as your comfortable and safe and aware of how it might affect you, go for it!

3. Should the loss of virginity be traumatic so it sets the bar of sex low in general so we can work to raise that bar with future partners?

Nobody deserves a sucky first time. That’s why I never really got into Madonna. She seemed too happy to be touched like a virgin. My first time sucked, as did the second and the forth (3rd time was awesome). Don’t touch me like a virgin! Touch me like a grown ass man! Touch me like we’re trying to avoid a shitty sweat fest. Touch me like at least like a very respectable whore. I’ve spent my whole like trying to be that.

4. What is the recommended soundtrack for losing your virginity?

‘Word of Mouf’ by Ludacris or the NBA playoffs.

5. Why was the virginity lost in this poem involving packs of boys?

Because that summer, my friends and I literally did everything together. Because we thought that was the thing to do. Because no one taught us better or because someone taught us better and we didn’t want to listen. Because there has to be some significance to a extremely closeted kid losing his virginity in a room full of other boys who he wishes to blend in with.

6. Would you redo your first time? If so, how?

Kanye West wouldbe there.