Ask The Author: Kirstin Scott

Below you will find responses to questions regarding Kirstin Scott’s June published piece “Advice for the Female Fetus.”

1. What advice have you provided to your fetus?

I was mostly worried about oxygenation and all that, but I did try to transmit the message, “Stay put until you get the signal.”

2. What is your favorite euphemism for having sex?

I sort of like “hooking up” because to me it’s an unlikely, unsexy stand-in; it conjures images of carcasses hanging upside down from the ceiling, draining.

3. What would your fetus look like if it was a Muppet? What would it sound like?

Beaker. Beaker.

4. How is humiliation a near rhyme?

It’s humilating to be thinking you know where a thing is going, to be anticipating how it will end or fit or satisfy…but then suddenly: NOPE. (Or else, depending on the stakes and your overall outlook, the surprise is delightful, amusing, magically delicious.) In any case, near rhyme sets you up like that.

5. Which parts of you are in this piece, sans uterus?

All the worries and all the words.

6. How have you stayed sane in Salt Lake City?

Well, it’s tough all over. But we just moved to Mexico for a while.