The Lightning Room With Aaron Burch

In the September issue, Aaron Burch describes the “Some Nights We Play Poker.” GET FAMOUS:

1. The house in which we collectively play poker: describe its neighborhood. What kinds of cars? People? Lawns? Architecture?

One of those abandoned houses out in the country. No on lives here, we just all meet here for poker. Some of the windows are broken, there is no lawn. It’s nice because we don’t have to pick up when we leave.

2. This piece seems like it could apply across the board, to any group of acquaintances and its social ebbs and flows. Let’s throw all that vagary aside for a minute. Put some names and personals to the “he’s” and “she’s.” We’re talking ages, occupations, kids, favored sexual positions, anything.

Can is just be a room of John Malkoviches?

3. “Some Nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck; some nights I call it a draw.” What makes these nights different from all others?

Can I plead the Denzel here? (Also, can we try to make “plead the Denzel” happen?) “That suggests I know what it is, and I don’t want to know what it is. That’s part of the mystery. It is what it is. I don’t go, “I gotta make sure I put some of that Denzel Washington-ism in the movie.” I don’t want tricks. I don’t want to lose my mojo.”

4. Can you describe for us the slow unraveling of an adult friendship? What makes it so they don’t come back?

Description by way of short one-act play:

Hey Bob! How we doin man?
All right…
Its been a while man, this place is so rad…
This band’s my favorite man, don’tcha love um?
Yeah…
Oh man, you wanna beer?
All right…
Aw man, hell bro, this is the best man,
I’m so glad we’re all back together and stuff. This is great man.
Yeah…
Hey you know about that party after the show?
Yeah.
Aw man, it’s gunna be the best… I’m so stoned. Take it easy bro!

5. Here’s a good one: You. Poker. Inviting three famous people to play. Who would they be? It has to be people you don’t know, and they can’t be dead, because they have to get to your house. GO.

The first name that jumped to mind was Bill Murray. I feel like he’d be good, and actually even possible. He seems like the famous person most likely to accept a random poker night invite. Maybe Wil Wheaton, because he does some kind of web show about gaming and poker isn’t quite the same as sitting around playing obscure boardgames but seems almost similar so he might be good, plus I could just ask him Stand By Me questions all night. And… hm. Mila Kunis? Because… well, because I’m a chauvinist pig, and if I’m going to lose all my money (as I usually do at poker anyway), I might as well be able to blame it on lack of concentration due to staring at Mila.

6. Finally, please relate three questions shared over the course of these sessions that would probably be greeted with cleared throats, stares, or “awkward non-answers.”

How do I do the email version of responding to this question with a cleared throat, staring, and then maybe an awkward non-answer?