“DEDICATION: TO THE REGISTRAR,” by Ashley Inguanta
Years ago, I wrote a poem before boarding an airplane. A dream of mine: When I was a young girl, I held my grandfather’s hand, and we ran. I was a monster, growing. He had the greenest eyes. I remember ghosts. I remember how–after the poem, after the dream—I turned to gold when I kissed my lover, when I kissed her hair. I remember when I thought all of this made sense once, when I drove past palm trees and all things wild. It was in my DNA to love hard.
The dream of my grandfather: There is another man who has never showed up in any of my dreams, but he is also my blood. He had a scar between his eyes. Tell me—when you saw him, when you marked down his features, when you scanned his face—did you see a young girl forming from his DNA, from those lines, from his dark complexion, from the scar between his eyes? I want to know, how did he speak to you? He filled out his draft card, World War II. His body belonged to America. Did he know this? Tell me.
Tell me this, and I will tell you that in my dream, my body belonged to the place all good dreamers go: Into the sky, looking down from an airplane window, maybe at clouds or maybe at matchbox homes. I held the hand of someone safe. I was made from this safety, but I am also made from something hard. Muscle, tan. A scar that belongs to body, a body that belongs to a country that has just been born.
1942, April. That’s when you saw my great grandfather, when he spoke to you, when he told you his birthday, when you noticed what he was made of.
Tell me: Did you feel it? The seed of yourself? Were these roots spreading like a river? Did he speak like someone who has traveled far, like someone who knew what was coming?
And was I there, too? Was I there?
***
Ashley Inguanta is a Florida-based writer and photographer whose work has appeared in Redivider, PANK, and The Doctor T.J. Eckleburg Review. She is also the Art Director of SmokeLong Quarterly. In 2010, Ashley’s story “The Heart of America” earned an Honorable Mention in Glimmer Train for their Very Short Fiction Award. Last year, The Ampersand Review nominated her poem “San Andreas Fault” for the Pushcart Prize. Ashley is also the author of three collections of poetry: The Way Home (Dancing Girl Press), For the Woman Alone (Ampersand Books), and Bomb (forthcoming with Ampersand Books). Keep up to date with her travels, readings, and publications here:www.ashleyinguanta.com