Whitewash

By Madelin A. Medina

I am not whitewashed—just self-entitled, and well equipped.
I carry White-Latina-Privilege always within reach—
in my Calvin Klein bra; between the cotton, and bare skin.

At the supermarket (owned by Dominicans) a few blocks
away from me, I like to wear the shame of gentrification.
I speak English because it’s convenient, or to pretend
I’m Gringa just because I’m bored.

And, when I feel like it, I parade myself in Latinx Pride. 
I pledge my allegiance to the flag of the colonized
Latin Americas, and to the oppression for which it stands,
one Nation under hypocrisy, and justice paid-in-full
in hard cash, political favors, and exploitation.

I am not whitewashed—just self-sufficient, and resourceful.
I carry my Self at my own convenience, and on the
questionnaire I choose Other; then don’t fill in the blank.

I keep a photo of my first birthday on my cell, always
at hand, in case of an emergency—as the adequate proof
of blanqueamiento. Yellow frilled dress. Pink paper tiara.
Shared by my mother, and my father—Black, but only half.

It’s not appropriation to claim the color, but not the struggle.
Right? Because, doesn’t it count to be Black by association?
On a whim, I’ll wear my pelo bueno in box braids, and—
by fault, and technicality— it’s not really blackfishing. I’ll adopt
blackness because “I’m allowed,” and, online, it’s trending.

I am not whitewashed—just self-absorbed, and preoccupied.
I cherry pick from among my selves, and choose whichever,
at the time, best fits my needs; whatever should benefit me.

After all, there is no real effort, no shame, and no one
identity is necessary when you’re only just borrowing;
when conning is second nature, and comes so naturally.

---

Madelin A. Medina is a Dominican-American poet and Suicide Prevention Advocate. She currently resides in Queens, New York, with her husband, and young son. Her most recent work has appeared in Cosmonauts Avenue, Dominican Writers Association, and LUNA Literary Magazine Vol. 2 Issue 2. She is also a recipient of the Nancy P. Schnader Academy of American Poets Award at Hofstra University. Visit www.madelinamedina.com.