Huckster: Muse Varieties For Creatives In Advertising

Many creatives are reluctant to answer (truthfully) the question, “From where do you get your ideas?” Sure, they might provide an answer, but rarely to do they provide the truth: that they get their ideas from a muse. Every creative’s muse is different, but, generally speaking, muses can fall into three different types of personalities categorized as Type X, Type Y and Type Z. Below, you’ll find descriptions for each of these types, something never before released.

Type X Muse
(Common names: Kallias, Matthais, Natasa, Gary)
The best way to sum up the Type X Muse is with these five words: feel-good movie of the year. If Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts had a baby while Steve Winwood’s “Higher Love” was playing in the background, then this muse would be the offspring. That’s the good part. The bad part is, this type of muse’s timing is unpredictable. It also has poor dental hygiene, although this doesn’t affect the creative much. Also, nine out of ten times, this type of muse will spontaneously combust.
Favorite food: Lasagna!
Hates: Nothing! Except maybe hatred!
Loves: The 80’s.
Always wearing: Sperry Topsiders and a smile.
Favorite movie: Requiem For A Dream.

Type Y Muse
(Common names: Qunitus, Cicero, Lucius, Qunitus-Cicero-Lucius)
The Type Y Muse has many things going for it as well as many things going against it. Probably more things going against it. It doesn’t have some of the standard features of the Type X and Type Z muses. For instance, Type Y Muse can not fly, whereas Type X can fly (via a nitro-powered jetpack) and Type Z can fly (via wings made from the feathers of the now extinct dodo bird). However, what Type Y lacks in flight is more than made up for in its ability to lure and coax large ungulates. “So what?” you might be thinking, and it’s only natural to have this reaction. But consider this: when an artist is feeling blocked and having trouble with a project, nothing can break down that bothersome blockade like a menagerie of hoofed animals.
Favorite pastime: Frolicking.
Diet: Vegan, except for a once-a-month indulgance in pork rolls.
What kind of coffee would it be if it were a coffee: Illy Expresso Roast.
Pet Peeves: Sink full of dishes!

Type Z Muse
(Common name: Jack Thoroughbred.)
The Type Z Muse is, by far, the most powerful muse of the bunch. He or she (or, most typically, he-she) provides extreme inspiration in a vigorous manner. Some would say perhaps too vigorous, while still others say not vigorous enough. I guess the point is, everybody’s different. But can you imagine a world where everyone was the same? That would be a boring world. As mentioned earlier, this muse has wings. Unfortunately, it also has a self-identity problem, which it’s trying to resolve but is just too busy trying to help you out, so give it a break, okay?
Hobbies: Windsurfing.
Favorite game: Sid Meier’s Civilization.
Constantly visiting: McSweeney’s Internet Tendencies.
Mustard: Stone ground.
History: Deleted.
Cache: Emptied.