How Some People Like Their Eggs by Sean Lovelace

It has been said the hallmark of a great cook is one who can prepare the perfect egg. Eggs are tricky little things, particularly because it seems so simple. Boil   in water. Fry in pan. Fry in pan while vigorously beating the egg about. Whisk in bowl then pour in pan with other delicious ingredients. But eggs are temperamental. Timing matters. The heat of the pan matters. The quality of your ingredients matters. There’s nothing at all easy about eggs. Writing is the same way. If you are literate, you can put some words together and call it writing but for it to make sense, for it to do more than act as words on a page, you have to be a great writer.

The ten stories in Sean Lovelace’s chapbook How Some People Like Their Eggs, winner of the Rose Metal Press Third Annual Short Short Chapbook Contest, evidence the work of a great writer. Each story is unique in voice but not so different that the stories feel like they’ve been written by different writers.   In many chapbooks, you get the sense you’re reading the same story differently. That was not the case here.

The stories in this collection start as one thing and end up as something completely different. Meteorite begins with a brief narrative about the only recorded meteorite to hit a human but quickly evolves into a story of two people at a restaurant that serves bad food. One of them has been stricken with cancer. The other doesn’t know what to say. There is wonderful subtlety in this story. For example,”Paige eats everything and says her stomach kind of hurts and I say I bet it kind of hurts. She says I’d win that bet and then orders the entire dessert menu, including an ice cream pie called Chocolate to Die For.” There is so much subtext in those two lines given the context of the story. It a masterful choice of words and a brilliant way to make the most of a short short form. Throughout the collection I was impressed by the deliberate use of language.

Charlie Brown’s Diary: Excerpts is clever, charming and unexpected. The tone of it captures Charlie Brown’s melancholic neuroses and while not everyone may read the story this way, I found it terribly moving and more than anything that’s always what I want from stories. I want to be moved. The title story is equally witty and moving, instructing how various figures take their eggs. You may be interested to know Che Guevara likes a bold omelet while Howard Hughes would like his steam-based in an autoclave.

My favorite story in the chapbook is I Love Bocce, about a nurse who loves bocce and yearns to have people understand the depth and earnestness of his feelings. Over an operating table, the doctors and nurses in attendance begin discussing the merits of bocce when an oveerager medical student says, “I played in Haiti, with coconuts, during a tournament. I actually grouped the balls so close that several laws of physics were altered.” His futile statement is ignored and understood for what it is. Surgery continues. It is a perfect moment in a series of perfect moments throughout the story.

Ultimately, this collection is witty, at times tender, at times magical, but always a fine example of how wonderful short short stories are when well-executed. In reading How Some People Like Their Eggs, I was reminded of Mozart and the Marriage of Figaro and how in one scene the score moves from aria to duet to trio to quartet to quintet until twenty voices are singing in perfect harmony. This collection is like that composition. Every word, every sentence, every story work together in perfect harmony.

I am allergic to eggs. When I eat them I get nauseous and itchy and sick in ways you don’t want to read about. When I could eat eggs, I enjoyed them scrambled a bit soft (not hard scrambled, dry and flaky), with a bit of raw salt and pepper. I also enjoyed hard boiled eggs because I liked to remove the hardened yolk in one piece and pretend it was a marble. That’s weird. I know. But now you know how I like my eggs. It was inevitable, that.

News You Need

Teresa Houle has joined the Folded Word staff and as our Snuggie poem contest winner, models her Snuggie!

What to say when you don’t like a good friend’s bad novel.

A book club for Russian Literature.

A PW survey on the Google book settlement.

An underground library? Very neat idea.

The e-Reader wars… sounds dramatic.

What college composition should teach.

New: Swink, Eat a Peach, decomP, Storyglossia, DIAGRAM, Emprise Review, Knee Jerk,   DOGZPLOT Flash Fiction.

Magazines worth reading on the regular: Wigleaf, Staccato Fiction, Monkeybicycle, and Everyday Genius.

A lengthy interview with Matt Bell, editor of The Collagist.

Folded Word has announced their Pushcart nominees.

The New Yorker has a new managing editor.

The new Lorrie Moore, reviewed.

Writing without writing… Funny post at Powell’s blog.

Hemingway motivational posters.

Sometimes, it is good to unplug.

Sad. No more Reading Rainbow.

The Lincoln Center is looking for teaching artists.

An intern talks about the slush pile.

Behind the scenes of dispatch eleven. The song is great.

The winners of Prick of the Spindle’s Fiction Open have been announced. There’s still time to enter their Poetry Open.

Are you up on the Google Book settlement?

It’s a great time to be a writer.

The new literacy?

Ethel Rohan on writing flash fiction.

This week’s Luna Review.

Ask the Editors: The Men of Knee Jerk

This week brings us a triumvirate of editors, the men of Knee Jerk Magazine, C. James Bye, Jonathan Fullmer, and Stephen Tartaglione, who talk to us about Chicago, the jerking of the knee, and the remarkable access heroin addicts have to computers.

1. When I was a kid and I went to the doctor, he would hit my knee with a little triangle hammer and my knee would jerk involuntarily. Does that experience have anything to do with the name of your magazine?

Stephen: Maybe the act of hitting people in the knee, sure. I think that’s the ultimate goal, to get people’s attention using any means necessary. We’re not really afraid to flex some muscle if it builds readership.

Casey might be able to explain the whole reactionary aspect of it. He’s drawn diagrams.

Jonathan: No—your doc was actually performing an archaic form of communicating with animals. Your knee jerked because you are probably not an animal.

C. James: I have absolutely no idea what Jon is talking about. But I’d assume he’s right. He’s always right. Except when he’s wrong. Which is often.

2. Who are the editors of Knee Jerk? You can answer literally or figuratively or both?

Jonathan: Figuratively speaking, their names are Steve, Casey, and Jon.

C. James: Literally, a giant collection of space-kittens older than time itself traveling from galaxy to galaxy searching for love. Theirs is a tragic tale.

Stephen: Literally, Jon, Casey, and Steve. Figuratively, a pair of worn sweatpants.

3. How does your editorial staff divide your responsibilities?

Jonathan: Somewhat chaotically at the moment. We all come up with ideas and just sort of share the load according to who needs more to do at the time. Somehow it works.

Stephen: We divide them over beers and hamburgers. Most times we sit down with a piece of scratch paper and say, Okay, what do we need to finish up this month? What about next month? It’s a bit scattershot right now, but we’re working on streamlining the whole process. I just said streamlining. Other than that, Casey is in charge of dancing. Jon’s in charge of beat-boxing. I’m in charge of snacks.

C. James: All three of us are control freaks and perfectionists to one degree or another. So I think we all like to have our say at every level of pulling together an issue. And once I have my say, Jon and Steve gang up on me and subject me to swirlies, sometimes Indian burns, until I agree to do what they want. Then I go do their laundry and cry while they finish up the meeting.

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Ask the Author: Kuzhali Manickavel

Kuzhali Manickavel offers us You Can’t and You Don’t in the August issue. We talk about whorish words, what interviewers usually ask, and cursed mango trees.

1. How does your cultural identity influence your writing?

I really don’t know. I understand that cultural identity is probably a big thing and one should probably be aware of it and what it does to your work, but it’s not something I really think about. Also I don’t really understand what “cultural identity” means.

This is not a good answer. I’m really good at answering questions like “What’s life like in India?” People usually ask me that.

2. The title of your story implies a certain kind of story and then we read something rather unexpected. Why is your story entitled You Can’t and You Don’t?

I liked the way it sounded. This is also not a good answer but I really just liked how it sounded very much.

3. A lot of who the protaqgonist is, is defined by who he was or who he is not. Was this a deliberate choice or something that arose from the writing of the story?

It was deliberate. I noticed in some conversations people were defining others using bits of information which were partial truths or incomplete memories and it just piled up, everybody contributing something, and in the end you got this portrait which satisfied everyone in some way but it wasn’t necessarily true. I was trying to do that.

4. You have one short story collection under your belt. Are you working on a new book-length work?

No.

5. What is “his” name?

I would tell you but it’s really racist and racism is bad.

6.  We can gather from the context, but what does “chee” mean?

I’ve heard it used for almost everything, from expressing profound disgust to extreme happiness mixed with surprise. “Chee” is very whore-ish that way.

7. What inspired this story?

I think it was inspired by some photographs I was looking at of people I don’t really know. Everyone was pink, which is strange to see in people you remembered as being predominantly brown, although someone once told me that air conditioning will turn brown people pink “like Bangalore tomatoes” which are actually red and not pink at all. Everyone was fatter also and there were babies or evidences of babies but fatness and babies are signs of wealth and prosperity in my country so maybe that’s a good thing. Anyway.

8. I read that you share your living space with a cursed mango tree. How’s the tree doing these days?

The Cursed Mango Tree is so very much the fine with all the so much foliages and squirrels are also coming and going and coming and going among the rapey monkeys doing all the mischiefs and porkiism and goondaism and dacoityism and it is all so very much the fine. Thanks for asking. Did you know that the actual monkey from whence the infamous “Monkey’s Paw” was pinched hangs out at The Cursed Mango Tree? And that he was also the original model used for the Chilled Monkey Brain dish that was served in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom? I bet you didn’t know that.

Ask the Author: Jared Walls, Superman

1. What is your favorite brand of ginger ale and why?

I really haven”â„¢t had ginger ale since I was about seven. I remember the moment I heard the questionable assertion concerning cancer””I was at my aunt”â„¢s mother”â„¢s house (not my grandmother, it was on the other side of the family), & my aunt”â„¢s sister read it aloud from the newspaper. I was afraid of her for some reason. There were so many elements contributing to my displacement that something about that non-fact concerning ginger ale stuck. I like to say that any poem I write is “a fiction,” but that particular element is all truth. But if I were to get back on the ginger ale, I”â„¢d probably go with a good dry””a Blenheim or a Foxon Park, perhaps a Sprecher”¦.

2. What is the unfunniest poet joke you’ve ever heard?

The statement I made for the first poem I brought in for a workshop: “So”¦I”â„¢m not well-versed in poetry”¦” I don”â„¢t really know a lot of poet jokes (funny or no), but I wish I did.

3. What inspired your poems Ginger Ale and Maryland Hacker?

I think the answer for question #1 serves as a pretty good explanation for Ginger Ale. As for Maryland Hacker, I was invited to come to a faculty search dinner, and one of my professors had seen All About Eve the night before and just kept going on and on with his impression of Bette Davis. It was incredibly entertaining. That”â„¢s how it usually works””I take an embryo of truth and see how ridiculous it becomes””my poems are kind of like Led Zeppelin songs in that way”¦

4. In Maryland Hacker, you name check some rather renowned writers. Do you consider yourself well-read? What would say are your five canonical texts?

I”â„¢m glad I re-read that follow-up question, because when I saw “canonical,” I was about to be like, “Do I look like Harold Bloom or something?” Anyway, I think I”â„¢m well-read in the way that I”â„¢m always looking for something new to read and that I”â„¢m always reading at least three or four books at once. I also feel that someone who doesn”â„¢t strive to read as much as they can should probably reconsider being “a writer.” Like I said before, I”â„¢m not sure how I feel about the word “canonical,” so I”â„¢ll give a quick run-down of books I think inform my approach:
1.      Paterson, William Carlos Williams
2.      North & South, Elizabeth Bishop
3.      Poeta en Nueva York, Federico García Lorca
4.      Actual Air, David Berman
5.      The Throne of the Third Heaven of the Nations Millennium General Assembly, Denis Johnson
(That was a really hard question by the way, the caveat being that Whitman & Dickinson are both givens that I did not include.)

5. What we really enjoyed about these poems was the way they expressed a narrative that came full circle. Was this deliberate on your part? Do you strive for that kind of containment in your writing?

Yes & no. At least one or two of my workshop classmates have made the faux complaint against me that a fiction writer has infiltrated the poetry program. I remember at the time that these poems were written I was really utilizing elements of necessary arrival. I see the use of repetition and containment as permission for the poem to be as ridiculous as it can be. I see it working in ways similar to “elliptical” poems. Or the way a stand-up comic may have one joke threaded through her entire routine. Of course, the concern is determining whether or not the poem is too contained””it always runs the risk of being too tidy.

6. Kryptonite was Superman’s greatest weakness, his Achilles heel. What would you say is your greatest weakness as a writer? How do you work to overcome it? Finally, how awesome was Superman IV?

I go through bouts of crippling self-doubt. I was nearly (and I stress nearly) a theatre kid in high school; I”â„¢ve played in a handful of bands, and have flirted with doing stand-up (as if that”â„¢s any more lucrative than poetry). I more or less turned away from all of these activities for the same lack of confidence. I”â„¢ve found that writing is great when it”â„¢s a public act””when you lay your soul bare and all that jazz, but first and foremost, writing is a private act. Reconciling the anxiety that comes in leaping from the private to the public may not always be easy, but I think I”â„¢m able to overcome that anxiety by allowing the work to acknowledge that the anxiety exists (hence the canonical name-dropping””Whitman”â„¢s beard looms large over my shoulder most days).

As for Superman IV, it is always awesome: All the world”â„¢s nuclear weapons tossed into the sun creates Nuclear Man””Superman”â„¢s doppelganger? That movie, alongside Red Dawn and Rocky IV, is one of the last best/worst movies of the late Red-Scare Era of the 1980s. Here”â„¢s the tagline: “Nuclear Power. In the best hands, it is dangerous. In the hands of Lex Luthor, it is pure evil. This is Superman’s greatest battle. And it is for all of us.” I think it speaks for itself.

7. You serve as poetry editor for the Front Porch Journal. Why do you think so many writers also edit or vice versa?

The bulk of the writing process is an act committed in solitude (that makes it sound sexier than it is, doesn”â„¢t it?). Anyway, to have the opportunity to interact with others who do the same work as your self can be frustrating””but for the most part it”â„¢s incredibly rewarding. And I don”â„¢t mean to say that being an editor is a platform for rubbing elbows with other writers””it may be””what I”â„¢m getting at is that being an editor allows me to see, despite what certain former poet laureates may say, how diverse and exciting American poetry is today. Also, I like to lie and tell people we have sexy parties whenever a new issue comes out.

Ask the Author, Kevin Griffith, Time Traveler

In Yearlight Savings Time, Kevin Griffith shows us what it might be like if we had to do it all over again. Today we talk to him about the end of the world, his story, and what’s in a name.

1.      Your story, Yearlight Savings Time, has a very interesting premise. How did this story come about?

Well, I am also a poet, and I realized that many of my poems were just premises for longer things that I was simply too lazy to deal with deeply.   So the story probably started out as an idea for a poem.   Also, I am really annoyed by the whole Daylight Savings Time thing.   I wish it would just go away.   Do you know why we “spring forward” so early now?   The government said it was a way to save energy, but it was really to appease golf lobbyists.   Children go to school in the dark in March so that business executives can get an extra hour of sun on the golf course later.

2. Is the world coming to an end? If so, when?

The world is always coming to an end, just as we are always dying.   Wittgenstein said that the future is a tautological proposition.   That is, we only know what the future is because we have developed devices to record a future (calendars), yet those devices are based upon a presupposition that there is such a thing as a future.   Tautology, a go go.

3. Is it more difficult to be who one was or who one is?

Again, good old Wittgenstein: “The only eternity is the present.”

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Ask the Author: Steven J. McDermott, Beachcomber

Steven McDermott, editor of Storyglossia, is also a writer and curator of detail. In the August issue, Steven brought us another of my favorite stories (there is a pattern here), Silver. Today we talk to him about the story, the good in bad mothers and how he takes his coffee.

When I first read this story, I thought it was heartbreaking and ugly and beautiful. Was it your intention to elicit that sort of reaction?

Oh, yes, I’m glad you had that reaction. I also remember when you accepted the story you said it was full of hurt and that made me happy, that the submerged layer of pain worked to the surface. Shaping an emotional and aesthetic response is unpredictable because readers bring their own stuff to the reading, but your response is in pitch with what I hoped for. Pleasure and pain, ugly and beautiful, ecstasy and heartbreak. To be conflicted is to be human.

2. Is your protagonist a bad mother? I ask because while she makes questionable choices I sensed a certain sympathy toward her in your writing.

Not a bad mother, no. She takes her children to her sister’s; she could have left them in the car while she was at the beach. I wanted that action to reveal compulsion; a moment of escape she had to act on even while tethered. And, yes, sympathetic for sure. I tried to be on her side. I wrote a bunch of other scenes and fragments from her POV that I cut or never added to various drafts, and that helped me imagine it her way. I will probably write another, longer, story featuring this character. So many possibilities now that I’ve done the initial character creation. I’m curious what she’d be like on the other side and will try to get her there in another story.

3. The sex scene between these two strangers is quite explicit. Do you ever worry about including explicit elements in your writing? Do those scenes come easily or are they more challenging to write than more sedate prose?

I don’t worry about including such explicit scenes although I do accept that it narrows the possibilities for publication. I don’t always leave such scenes in, depends on whether they serve the story. Sometimes a less explicit description or a metaphorical approach works better. In this case I don’t think the story works without the explicit description. I’d say such scenes are easy for me to write because they are fun to write. Harder to decide how much to leave in a story, but the writing part is easy. Free writing sex scenes is also a good warm-up exercise.

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Friday Five

1. PANK contributor Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz has a book coming out in January 2010. In the coming months, there will be a review, a giveaway, and an interview. In the meantime, check out the awesome cover.

aptowicz_cover

2. Keyhole 8 is available for pre-order. Giveaway #1: 2 1-year subscriptions to Keyhole to the first two people who blog or tweet about Keyhole 8 and leave a comment here with the link. (No previous winners, please.)

keyhole8-thumb

3. PANK contributor David LaBounty has a book just out, Affluenza, review forthcoming. Check it out.

AFFpre01

4. Artifice Magazine has an awesome wishlist of submissions they’d like to consider. One-year subscriptions are only $10.

5. In July, Dan Wickett, over at the Emerging Writer’s Network, introduced me to Percival Everett and his novel Erasure. Giveaway #2: copies of Erasure and Everett’s latest, I Am Not Sidney Poitier, to the third person to blog or tweet about Keyhole 8, and leave a link in the comments.

Race, Gender, Pretty Awkward, Quick Follow Up

We are really enjoying the conversations taking place on our post about race and gender. We look forward to having more of these conversations in the future.

I do want to point out a few things:

  • The post was not meant to be definitive, canonical, or in any way an all-encompassing final word on such a subject. That’s not at all possible. It was meant to begin a conversation, which it did.
  • We don’t have any answers.
  • I failed to acknowledge in my initial post that everyone holds some kind of privilege at least here in the US and I think it is important to know that.
  • Whenever the word “race” is mentioned, people seem to have a hard time reading the words which precede and follow.
  • There may not be a way to discuss issues of race, gender, class, sexuality, etc, without getting defensive.
  • Dicksizing when it comes to ways in which we are marginalized is not productive. Your experiences do not negate mine and vice versa.
  • The writing always always comes first, editorially speaking. We are confident that is reflected by the work we publish.

As I read many of the comments, I was reminded of writer and performance artist damali ayo, who (in 2007, I believe) disseminated a really useful, clever handbook on dealing with racism in which she explicitly addresses both white people and people of color. I offer that PDF here, without additional commentary.