Linguistic shenanigans & writing tidbits

–by Joel Patton

Distressions [1] & Digressions [2]

The other day [3], I passed a housepainter’s van. It advertised a variety of services, including the first part of the title of this essay: distressions [4].

I immediately knew the meaning of the word, though I’d never seen or heard it used before, because of an acquaintance’s work experience, to wit [5]:

Said acquaintance worked part-time for a cabinetmaker. My friend can’t carpent [6], but he didn’t need to. His employer and his regular employees would build brand-new $40,000 banks of kitchen cabinets, and my friend, armed with awls [7], rusty chains [8], sandpaper [9], and the like, would make them look like hundred-year-old $40,000 banks of kitchen cabinets. Continue reading →