Ask the Editor: Lauren Becker, Fiction Editor, DOGZPLOT

Once a week, more or less, we’re going to interview an editor or other person of interest that you may not know a lot about. Our first interview is Lauren Becker, a PANK contributor past and future. She is also the 6th most popular search term for our website AND the fiction editor of DOGZPLOT.

1. What would Tim Gunn from Bravo’s (formerly) Project Runway say about the majority of the submissions you reject for DOGZPLOT?

I’m concerned (left hand on chin, right waggling at submission).

2. What is your biggest editorial pet peeve?

It’s a tie.   The first is when a writer states in the cover letter that s/he doesn’t think it’s a good fit for us (worded in many different ways) but decided to send it anyway.   Which implies that my time is not valuable.   I’m a writer, too.   I’ve done tons of research for good markets for submissions.   It’s a courtesy and I’m big on manners.

The other is when I receive another submission from a writer minutes to hours after sending a rejection.   Perseverance is great.   But please let me clear my palate.   A little sorbet of other writers’ work.   I promise I won’t forget you if you re-submit days or even weeks later.

3. Other than PANK, what is your favorite magazine these days?

Ummm, this is a tough one.   I’d say the two (other) journals I consistently read, start to finish, are Wigleaf and Hobart (web).   Haven’t been able to afford print due to unemployment but I’d read these two, regardless.

4. What do you enjoy most about editing?

I absolutely love reading an amazing first line that turns into an amazing story.     The first issue I edited should be up any day now.   They’re all great stories; some are breathtaking.   Selecting each story gave me great joy as a reader and made me feel like I hit pay dirt as an editor.

5. Do you read every submission all the way through, even if it is excruciating?

Pretty much, yeah.   I figure someone has taken the time to write something and put it out there for judgment (which is scary), the least I can do is read it, even if I know from the first paragraph that I’m not going to take it.   There’s always the possibility that setting aside a not-so-great first paragraph could reveal a gorgeous story.   Keep in mind I’ve only been editing since April; jadedness is not out of the question.

The only ones I generally don’t read in their entirety are those over 5,000 words.   I try to stick with stories of fewer than 2500 words.   Web readers don’t have the same attention span as print readers, I’ve found.   I’m still peeved at the guy who sent me almost 15,000 words.

6. If you had to give potential DOGZPLOT submitters one piece of advice, what would it be?

This is not original advice, but it’s highly relevant, which is why it’s so often repeated:   Read the magazine before submitting.   The guidelines, the stories, my name.     If your story doesn’t seem like it will fit, wait and send me something that you think will.

7. What kind of bribes are you willing to accept?

You are psychic.   I was about to add something to my last answer.   Cash is fantastic.   I take Paypal.   Gift cards for anywhere but chain restaurants.   Chocolate.   And checks with two forms of identification.   You could also just compliment my writing and tell me I’m pretty.

8. DOGZPLOT and PANK meet at a bar, have drinks, hit it off. Do they a. go to a sleazy motel and have a one night stand or b. make out in the bar but leave it at that or c. exchange phone numbers, start dating, and live happily ever after? Show your math.

Keep in mind that my answer is based on the equation (showing my math) DOGZPLOT = Barry Graham.

d.   have sex standing up in the dirty bathroom of a dive bar without exchanging names.   He’s a romantic.   And I know PANK likes it dirty.

If it were me and PANK, … combo of b and c.   Unless PANK got me really, really drunk.

9. Would it be possible to have a Bravo reality show about creative writers and editors? How would it work?

Yes!   Throw a bunch of writers/editors with the biggest personalities/egos in a house together and make them compete in cooking and dress-designing competitions.     Add a few timed challenges using really bad prompts, such as:

– Write a poem about a foot cramp.   Must include the word “epiglottis.”     Extra points for rhyming.
– Write a creative non-fiction piece about a housemate (to be assigned), disclosing embarrassing personal information.   Extra points for making them cry.

Anyone who overuses adverbs gets no protein or adjectives for a week.

10. What is your favorite cocktail?

Not that into cocktails.   Maker’s neat.   Water back.

11. Does your editorial work influence your writing? If so, how?

Yes.   I don’t know how but I’m virtually certain it does.

12. Duotrope: virtue or vice?

Both.

Virtue:   I love that submissions tracker so much you wouldn’t believe.   I am not good at tracking.   I would rather die than take an hour to set up and populate a spreadsheet.

Vice:   It’s addictive to check when journals are responding to submissions.   And then to drive oneself crazy with speculation.

There is all sorts of calculus and/or other really hard math involved here.   One must click on the journal’s name.   Look at acceptance/rejection rates.   Look at average response times.   Look at the date of the last response and how long it took.   Depending on what kind of writer you are, think of yourself favorably or use even positive indicators as evidence that you are a horrible writer and person. Think about how cool it would be to have that credit in your bio.   Get mad at yourself for jinxing it.   Repeat 1-15 times daily.

13. What are you working on right now?

I can’t tell you.   You might steal my idea.

I’m actually pretty stuck right now.   I have one short about a one-night stand I need to play with.   The story.   Not the one-night stand.   I have some other stuff I’m not motivated to work on right now.   In general, I am trying to get back into short story territory.     And my parents would like me to write something they can show their friends.   I’m thinking the one-night stand one is not going to be a big hit at Rosh Hashanah services.

14. Is there anything exciting on the horizon for DOGZPLOT?

I have no idea.   Barry never tells me anything.

Actually, he is doing a thing in Atlantic City July 31 – August 2.   He says it’s a reading, but I’ve never heard of a three-day reading, so I think it’s a little bit of reading and some gambling and debauchery.   I wish I could go but

I’m starting my new job.

I am maybe putting on a reading (like 1-2 hours. Not three days.) with some other folks in the Bay Area.   Maybe in October.

And, of course, there is the imminent DOGZPANK joint reading at AWP 2010. (ed: DOGZPANK will be epic + legendary.)

15. What question should I have asked?

What am I wearing? (ed: You’re right. We were remiss.)