Jennifer Pieroni

Unlucky Babies

———-Unlucky babies do not spend much time alone in the dark. These babies are girls or twins or boys and they will not eat bananas. Unlucky babies were born with unbelievable talents, special skills that no one will ever appreciate. They sit by the radiators just naturally. Unlucky babies get backaches from an early age. They are the ones in the parking lot feeding the seagulls stale bread. They are waiting behind you in line and help you pick up the change that slipped out of your wallet. Unlucky babies kiss hard throughout their lives. They have mothers and families, not all of whom keep secret prescriptions, not all of whom have private conversations when it seems no one can hear. Some unlucky babies have very open-faced mothers and siblings, but still they remain unlucky. You would not pick an unlucky baby for your sports team because all unlucky babies have poor hand-eye coordination. Unlucky babies will never learn to type; they will peck at a keyboard with index fingers and one day someone will mention it and the unlucky babies will feel ashamed. Unlucky babies do not always have the right words to say how they feel. Unlucky babies don’t mind the rain running over their foreheads; it is said that unlucky babies cross directly through deep puddles. Unlucky babies do not drive recklessly. If you ask an unlucky baby what his or her lucky number is you won’t get a very good answer. Unlucky babies don’t realize there are holes in their socks. The people closest to unlucky babies are usually aware that the babies are unlucky, but since luck is a non-negotiable factor there is nothing to do. Somewhere an unlucky baby just got locked out of its car. Unlucky babies do not set alarm clocks because they wake up at the same time every day. You would think unlucky babies like to run around naked, but actually they are modest. Unlucky babies play quietly in the afternoons. Unlucky babies appreciate coincidence and symmetry in nature and when they visit a butterfly farm they follow the hand-sized Monarch through the tall grass. Unlucky babies lose important papers. If taken in your arms, unlucky babies shiver.

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