Darkly Devotions

Lyric prose meditations that play with elements from evangelical Christianity, Buddhism, yoga, reiki, Tarot and “weird voodoo shit.”

~by Cindy Clem

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Opening exercise: Thread a needle. Pull the thread all the way through. Then, thread the needle again. Repeat for ten minutes. Each time you poke the thread through the eye, bow slightly and say, “If you would be so kind.” Each time you pull the thread through, bow again and say, “Thanks awfully much.”

If you assumed that today’s Scripture has to do with camels, you were wrong. It is, however, about water. Before we begin, please fill in the required words for numbers 1-8 below.
1 – adjective
2 – item of clothing
3 – expression of politeness
4 – types of food
5 – rare medical condition OR temporary physical handicap
6 – containers for liquid
7 – form of transportation
8 – types of food

Today’s Readings:
“A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, ‘Give me a drink.’
For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.” ~John 4:7-8

Jesus continues to talk to the woman, and we find out that “Give me a drink,” is less an expression of true thirst than a sort of evangelical pick-up line and that the woman has had five husbands and is living with another man now and that she’s thirsty for something called “living water” and that Jesus convinces her that he is the Messiah. Pastors and preachers alike make much of this story and how nice it was of Jesus to talk to someone who was a) female, b) Samaritan, and c) living in sin. But all of that is neither here nor there.

The more important questions this passage raises are rarely addressed:
1) Why didn’t Jesus say please?
2) How does his disciples’ journey to market explain why Jesus asked for a drink?
3) Why does buying food require all of one’s disciples?
4) What was the woman wearing?

Reconstructive mad-lib:
A woman of Samaria came to draw water, wearing a/n [1] [2]. Jesus said to her, “[3], Give me a drink.” For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy [4]. Jesus, because of [5], could not get his own drink, and the disciples, lacking in forethought as usual, had not left him with one of the group’s [6]. Verily, the disciples had to go to the market en masse because they had no [7] and needed all of their hands to carry the [8].

Closing Prayer: Lord, our Lord, lead me not into assumption. Please. Thank you. If it’s not too much trouble. Are you sure?

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Cindy Clem received her MFA in poetry in 2005 and has been writing non-fiction ever since. Her poems and essays have appeared (magically!) in Mid-American Review, The Normal School, Prairie Schooner, Memoir (and), Superstition Review, The Interrobang, Spittoon, and Michigan Quarterly Review (forthcoming).