[REVIEW] Later, My Life at the Edge of the World: A memoir of outliving AIDS and its shadows by Paul Lisicky

Graywolf Press, 2020

REVIEW BY DWAINE RIEVES

There are places we go to by choice and others where we simply wind up.  The far tip of Cape Cod is, in Paul Lisicky’s new memoir Later, one of those places where your presence may only seem a choice.  This captivating tale opens in the early 1990s, a time when the artists and writers in Provincetown, or “Town” as we come to know it, are constantly shadowed by AIDS.  It is AIDS and the risk of the disease that, once you’re in Town, seems the ultimate decider.  In the opening scene, we find a young writer arriving at the local arts center, his initial thoughts preoccupied with his family’s fears, especially his mother’s worry.  “She is afraid of my living among my kind, especially now that so many young men are dying of AIDS.  She is expecting me to die of AIDS.”  It seems one’s fate in Town is one with AIDS, and the choice to live here—even if only for a year or two as a developing writer—is no cause for celebration.

A major theme in the early literature of AIDS was urgency.  The poet Bill Becker titled his 1983 collection of poems An Immediate Desire to Survive.  Immediacy was a warning, lateness no poetic conclusion. The journalist Randy Shilts constructed And the Band Played On along a timeline that leaves one breathless, the need to do something about this situation far too critical for anyone to sit and ponder.  In Paul Monette’s memoir, Borrowed Time, the story races over only a few months.  From the 80s until the mid-90s, the years for gay men were summarized in body counts, time always too short, science always lagging.  Reflection, the ability to dwell in a place and contemplate this untimely world, was no unrushed option for a young gay man, that time-out simply inconceivable given the chase of the virus.

In Later, by contrast, we have a gift of time: a place for contemplation even as the shadow of AIDS still chases us.  Such is the magic of living among the artists trying to create an art of life itself “at the edge of the world.”  Lisicky writes, “Town moves on two tracks at once.”  There’s the typical forward time and also “lyric time, which has nothing to do with the clock.”  The residents of Town thrive on lyric time, this patchwork of images and actions they share with us in this luminous read.  “It’s time as enacted in a painting or a poem or a song.”  Lyric time is set up as the opponent of AIDS time.  Lyric time allows us to sit with ourselves and think, for “lyric time moves off to the side and stalls: lateral instead of linear.”  Lyric time in Later allows us to sit with the lives we’ve witnessed and will witness, including the lives within us.  We flit with the narrator from lover to lover because flitting is all that this brief world allows us.  We dwell with the one who seems to care.  He moves on, and another steps up from the shadows.  Or should, his arrival only a matter of time.  Time is the beautiful lover luxuriating in the heart of Later.

Later also carries us from the years when AIDS seems inevitable for many gay men to 2018, a time when the risk for AIDS can be profoundly lowered and the disease itself treated.  The narrative sweep in Later is linear, the inhabitants of Town faithful in trying to help the new arrivals find their own direction.  These new residents have, after all, chosen this place where time and risks constantly mirror the body’s urges.  Who we are, including our sexual nature, is a given, but where this nature might take us can be a choice.  In Town, life itself feels a choice, the shadows close but also understanding.

The forward push of Later allows for detours.  We are presented with the narrative in parcels, short sections that could be taken as patchy prose poems within each chapter with rich, challenging language.  The structure of such finely stitched sections may easily remind you of a quilt, a collection of carefully stitched life stories, people and legacies to contemplate, the risks and rewards in where we choose to live, love, and in our all-too truncated time, develop.  Not an AIDS quilt now in prose, not really.  More a comforter as people in Town might stitch it, more purpose than opinion.  In Later, we’re given the opportunity to feel deeply the places where we’ve been, the lives in which we now find ourselves, and the places where we must yet go.  Later gives us time to suffer and also create, a place to comfort ourselves in our choices.

DWAINE RIEVES was born and raised in Monroe County, Mississippi. Following a career as a research pharmaceutical scientist and critical care physician, he completed an MA in writing from Johns Hopkins University. His poetry has won the Tupelo Press Prize for Poetry and the River Styx International Poetry Prize. His writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Baltimore Sun, Virginia Quarterly Review, The Georgia Review and other publications. 

[REVIEW] Skin Memory by John Sibley Williams

Breakwaters Press, 2020

REVIEW BY ESTEBAN RODRÍGUEZ

I remember first reading Juan Rulfo’s Pedro Paramo and feeling uneasy for the absence that pervades the novel. The story centers around Juan Preciado and his journey back to his deceased mother’s hometown of Comala, where he hopes to find his father but instead encounters a town populated by ghosts. The novel is surreal, and the way that Comala is described illuminates the tragedies of those who occupied the land. John Sibley William’s Skin Memory might not fall into the precise category of work that Juan Rulfo’s does, but the descriptions of absence in these poems succeed in the same manner, illuminating the consequences of loss, and revealing—if we weren’t aware before—how fragile the world around us truly is.

Skin Memory is a mixture of free verse and prose poems, but in many ways, the distinction between the two poetic forms is secondary to the content and to how much can be said with such concision. In “Sons of No One,” the topics of the poem range from suicide to extinction to the nature of creation:

So far all the suicides have been men

                   in my family. When I draw them

            close, it helps to remember the lake

                   beneath the desert the animals

            cannot taste but know exists.

                     It helps to draw them hungry

            clusters of light loping across the night

                     sky, such flames in their belies.

As the speaker goes on to discuss their naming of the stars, they feel, indirectly, that they had a role in the creation of the world—a feeling the speaker attempts unsuccessfully to achieve because of the lack of control they feel when one male family member after another takes their life. The speaker isn’t helpless as much as they are reflective, trying to understand what exactly is in their grasp and what isn’t. We see this in the next poem “Spectral”:

Each body is an outpost, populating, on its way to becoming a city. How the lights multiply, the surrounding darkness swell: how the moment speaks in future tense: if I’m being honest, how we miss what we never quite had, holding the light up to it- self, saying this is what we needed you to be.

There are certain things that will always live at a distance, and even though we may think that we know someone, and by extension know their body, we find, as Sibley Williams describes, moments where we don’t, and we realize at other moments that this understanding was never something we had a claim to.

This sentiment isn’t exclusive to family and those closest to us, but to the landscape as well, and when put under the microscope, we begin to question our role and purpose on this earth. In “Dear Nowhere,” a poem that traverses Montana, Alaska, and North Texas, we see this firsthand:

{Somewhere in North Texas}

Failing

to separate ground and sky, I’m complicit

in the steady collapse of clouds over barns.

Look—how red they rise from this dry

body of earth.

Is this only body placed on our tongues? Is this blood

we’re washing it all down with? I’m watching

bales of hay unfasten in the distance and wondering

if in another rendering of paradise we wouldn’t be

throwing stones to silence the owls at night.

A cathartic scene prompts the speaker to question their “complicity” in watching the course of events unfold (clouds collapsing, bales of hay unfastening), and in a larger sense, readers can’t help but wonder if the speaker is referring to complicity on more serious issues. After all, how often do we sit back and barely acknowledge the ways in which the world is collapsing all around us? Perhaps this interpretation is stretched, but poetry that engages its readers in this manner and allows such layers of meaning is poetry we need in such a flawed and complicated world.

As much as Skin Memory examines the world at large, it never fails to bring the focus back to the familial, and toward the end of the collection, Sibley Williams reminds us how necessary it is to cherish the small moments that might otherwise be lost to the grander scheme of things:

My son has not yet found a reason to love or hate    the silence     following us around the house. All he knows: something palpable is missing, not yet profound, not yet painting nightmares over his sleep, just a steady lack of arms where arms should be. The hundred nightingales trapped in my chest are chattering all at once. I don’t know which to speak from, if any voice is true, & if I’d recognize it. 

Although the son in “Absence Makes the Heart” is still innocent in a lot of ways, he knows something is not quite right. Sometimes it feels that when nothing wrong is happening then something must be wrong, and the son, almost instinctively, feels this too. But the speaker understands that as his father, and as someone who is still trying to figure out if “any voice is/ true,” he must guide his son in the best way possible, hoping that when the silence is no longer around, his son hears something akin to love.

Perhaps the best way to close out a poetry review for a collection as timely and important as Skin Memory is to let the work speak for itself, and the last poem “Forge” sums up what both the speaker and reader experience when they have reached the end, whatever that ending may be:

             We are here; this happened; a

simple  record.  If  we’re  lucky,  a  catalyst.  One door framed

within another. Even if closure is a construct, I cannot rule out

heaven entirely. Whatever finally breaks me, I cannot refuse it.

ESTEBAN RODRIGUEZ is the author of the collections Dusk & Dust (Hub City Press 2019), Crash Course (Saddle Road Press 2019), In Bloom (SFASU Press 2020), and (Dis)placement (Skull + Wind Press 2020). His poetry has appeared in Boulevard, The Rumpus, Shenandoah, TriQuarterly, and elsewhere. He is the Interviews Editor for the EcoTheo Review, an Assistant Poetry Editor for AGNI, and a regular reviews contributor for [PANK] and Heavy Feather Review. He lives with his family in Austin, Texas.

[REVIEW] The Black Ghost by Alex Segura & Monica Gallagher

comiXology Originals (2019)

REVIEW BY JOHN VERCHER

If you had told me that I was going to love a new comic that was Lisbeth Salander meets The Spirit; that was a dash of Dick Tracy, a smattering of Stumptown, and a sprinkle of Alias; that had elements of Eisner and Rucka, a little bit of Luna Brothers, and even a hint of George R.R. Martin? I’d have laughed in your face and told you that sounded like a derivative mess. And I’d have been dead wrong. You, of course, would have been talking about the fantastic series, Black Ghost, written by Alex Segura and Monica Gallagher.

Instead of some seasonless word-and-picture potato salad made up of disparate elements that don’t belong together (raisins, anyone?), this collaboration from two gifted comic book veterans feels more like a comfortable homemade recipe where all the ingredients come together—the influences from great writers and artists of the past and present blending perfectly. Instead of copying their inspirations, they pay homage to them while creating something wholly unique and original.

Black Ghost follows the travails of Lara Dominguez (a Latina heroine who’s the lead in her own title? Don’t mind if I do!), a reporter/teacher/vigilante on the come up. We’re dropped into her story in medias res—and she’s immediately kicking ass. The writing from the get-go is crisp and economical, abandoning the exposition and introducing us immediately to our heroine who’s got heart and snark to spare.

Lara has been obsessed with tracking down a vigilante dubbed The Black Ghost—a modern-day version of Eisner’s The Spirit—and that singular focus has brought her dangerously close to losing her job, as she’s passed up the stories her boss actually wants her to work on. Adding to her compulsion for the Ghost is an Anonymous-type entity, Lone, who contacts her through her computer, giving her clues about criminal goings-on where the Ghost might appear—or where she might have a chance to hone her burgeoning fighting skills.

Segura seamlessly infuses his noir roots into the story—simmering beneath this drama, Lara is dealing with the unsolved murder of her brother, Tomas, a community organizer in Miami. It is the motivation behind her drive to bring other criminals to justice—but his death also triggered the contact from Lone. She is not oblivious to the coincidence, and the mystery deepens.

Issue #1 takes a George R.R. Martin-esque turn on the final page—that’s right! Someone you thought was indispensable gets Red Wedding-ed (no spoilers here)! The savvy of Segura and Gallagher’s writing chops make the event feel natural and not done simply for shock value. It’s a compelling end to a riveting first issue that manages to give us an origin story without talking down to the reader.

Issue #2 is where things get a little darker and a little grittier where Lara is concerned. There’s nothing more compelling than a character in trouble, and, man, Lara is in some shit of her own making. The second chapter dives deeper into Lara’s internal torment, and how she quiets it—or attempts to—with booze and other people’s warm beds. The Bendis/Alias influence is apparent here, but unlike Jessica Jones, Lara is hindered by her reliance on alcohol, not enhanced by it. It becomes quite clear in this issue that it is a kryptonite she can’t resist—as much as we want her to.

While she clears the cobwebs, Lara discovers that the mugging she saved her student from in the last issue is more complicated than she first suspected—a lot more so. If only she had time to deal with that instead of clinging to the last threads of her job before she’s fired. Did I mention Lone is getting a bit more aggressive in his encouragement of her vigilante activities, and that’s she having an increasingly difficult time with Tomas’s death and what it might mean?

This is to say that if you think chapter two slows down for you to catch your breath—think again. While Lara’s story gets more textured and layered, it only adds to the emotional heft and propels the narrative instead of turning it into a slog.

This is to say nothing of the art of George Kambadais and the coloring by Ellie Wright. The cartoonish style recalls the art present in the Luna brothers’ works (The Sword, Ultra, Girls), while the bright primary colors harken back to the era of Dick Tracy. While these styles might seem out of place in a noir-influenced comic that doesn’t shy away from profanity and violence, Kambadais renders facial expressions, body language, and action in a way that, in combination with Segura and Gallagher’s script, conveys the gravitas in every scene.

If the first two issues are any indication, comic fans are in for one hell of a series. I can’t wait to see what this team does next.

JOHN VERCHER is a writer currently living in the Philadelphia area with his wife and two sons. He holds a Bachelor’s in English from the University of Pittsburgh and an MFA in Creative Writing from the Mountainview Master of Fine Arts program. His fiction has appeared on Akashic Books’ Mondays are Murder and Fri-SciFi. and he is a contributing writer for Cognoscenti, the thoughts and opinions page of WBUR Boston. Two of his essays published there on race, identity, and parenting were picked up by NPR, and he has appeared on WBUR’s Weekend Edition. His non-fiction has also appeared in Entropy Magazine. You can find him on his website www.johnvercherauthor.com and on Twitter at @jverch75.

[REVIEW] The Book of X by Sarah Rose Etter

Two Dollar Radio, 2019

REVIEW BY GABINO IGLESIAS

Sarah Rose Etter’s The Book of X is a strangely poetic, heartfelt, dark, and wonderfully creepy exploration of womanhood dipped in surrealism and wrapped in a bizarre love story where physicality plays a central role. Packed with writing that inhabits the interstitial place between horror, literary fiction, science fiction, and dark fantasy, The Book of X is a unique narrative that pushes against the boundaries of the genres it draws from while simultaneously carving a new space for itself in contemporary fiction.

Cassie, like her mother before her, was born with her stomach twisted in the shape of a knot. Despite the deformity, she spends a somewhat normal childhood with her parents and older brother on the family meat farm. She usually stays home with mom while her father and brother go to the farm to rip chunks of flesh from the earth to sell at the market. When Cassie starts going to school, her life is sometimes disrupted by people who discover her physical abnormality. Cassie grows up and learns that finding a boyfriend and making friends are no easy tasks when your body is considered grotesque by most people. After surviving school, she leaves home and moves to the city where she finds a desk job. While living in the city, Cassie meets a few men, but it never works out. Meanwhile, the knot in her abdomen starts causing her pain and she begins to visit various doctors in hopes of finding a solution. The struggles with her body seem to be a physical manifestation of the struggles she is forced to face in her new life. Her boss is abusive, the city is depressing, and her family is far from perfect. The meat from the farm brings less money every day and her parents’ aging becomes obvious to her. Finally, her father dies and that sends her back home. Her return to the farm, an experimental surgery, and a new man who enters Cassie’s life under less than ideal circumstances force her to reconsider her life as she learns to enjoy imperfect love and comes to terms with her identity and body. 

Etter created a unique world in The Book of X. Most of the narrative deals with everyday events like going to school, going to work, financial woes, a rough mother, and coping with rejection and depression. On the other hand, the story is infused with surreal elements?a store that sells men, meat farming, strange medical procedures?that somehow make perfect sense within the context of the story. Reality and weirdness inhabit the same spaces effortlessly and without clashing against each other. The result is a novel with a gloomy, depressive core that is also somehow hauntingly beautiful and wildly entertaining in its strangeness.

While this novel is unique and Etter’s voice is entirely her own, there were passages that reminded me of a variety of works, all of which are among my favorites. For example, the combination of sadness and strangeness brought to mind the novels of Alejandro Jodorowsky. Also, the book features short chapters made up entirely of dark imagery, strange visions, and nightmares that haunt Cassie. These passages are strong enough to cause discomfort in the reader. Also, they reminded me of the bizarre sense of discomfort and fascination I always feel while watching Begotten, an American experimental film written, produced, edited, and directed by E. Elias Merhige that has no dialogue and is entirely made up of dark, gruesome, religious, disturbing imagery:  

“He opens the lid wider. More light creeps into the box, and I can see bodies slithering beneath the water, slick, scaled. Suddenly, a small face comes into view beneath the surface: two eyes, strange nose, a mouth.”

While the darkness that permeates The Book of X is one of its most powerful elements, the narrative is also infused with poetry that comes at the reader unexpectedly, kind of like finding a gem while looking for lost papers in a dumpster. That said, the poetry is also imbued with an unrelenting melancholy that crawls into your chest and refuses to let go, settling between your ribs and camping out for a few days: 

“My throat is so full of love and sorrow that no more words come out. I can’t breathe and I know nothing, looking into the heart of the future, the relentless oncoming of death.”

Etter is a talented storyteller and The Book of X is proof of that. This is a book that is many things at once. On the surface, it is a narrative that explores a disfigured woman’s life and how cruelty and adverse reactions to those who are different are at the core of humanity. However, just under the surface, it is a sorrowful story about a lonely woman whose biggest wishes are to achieve some degree of normalcy in a world that has shown her how ugly normal can be and a look at the ways in which our nature as social animals drives us to relentlessly pursue companionship even when doing so repeatedly leads to suffering and rejection.

“In the afternoon, I read a book on the couch. I can barely catch the sentences, I can only imagine Henry’s lips, the history of the entire world in a kiss various genealogies of flowers blooming each time our mouths touched, how first I smelled lilac, then rose, then hyacinth, wet from the garden.”

The Book of X shines because it brilliantly enters into multiple conversations with various genres and shows how writers can use elements from whichever genre they please while respecting the rules of none of them. Etter’s many conversations, and the way she creates something entirely new, effortlessly bridge the gap between bizarro fiction, surrealism, horror, literary fiction, and noir without ever adopting any of their limitations. Furthermore, all of it happens while she creates a delightful dark and brutally honest narrative that shows what it means to be a woman in the world and that explores the ways in which what we are is brutally and/or tenderly shaped by the way others perceive us. In a way, this is a book created to expand the canon of what can be considered feminist literature, but it is also a celebration of storytelling that proves making up your own rules is sometimes the best way to create something unique and memorable.   

GABINO IGLESIAS is a writer, journalist and book reviewer living in Austin, Texas. He is the author of Zero Saints and Coyote Songs. He is the book review editor for PANK Magazine and a columnist at LitReactor. You can find him on Twitter at @Gabino_Iglesias.

[REVIEW] Pretend We Live Here by Genevieve Hudson

Future Tense Books, 2018

REVIEW BY KAIT HEACOCK

As the Pacific Northwest editor for Joyland—a magazine founded on the idea that fiction is an international movement supported by local communitiesI’m tasked with determining what makes PNW literature. Through Joyland, I had the pleasure of meeting Genevieve Hudson, author of the story collection Pretend We Live Here (Future Tense Books, 2018). I’ve carried the book with me through two moves, and many of its stories have stuck with me like they are my own memories of childhood heartbreak, adult heartbreak, and all the inside jokes that help you laugh through those aforementioned heartbreaks.

When I consider Pacific Northwest literaturelooking beyond the physical boundaries of the Pacific Ocean and the CascadesI search for the stylistic choices and thematic concerns that connect writers of this area. First, I must consider some of our historically iconic authors: Ken Kesey, Oregon’s merry prankster of hippie lit, and Tom Robbins, whose novels are like the West in book form, boundary-pushing pioneers of prose. What connects these authors is their playfulness, even in the face of tragic plots.

But to sum up who we are as writers that way doesn’t feel complete. There’s more, and it’s something sacred. Where our books may laugh in the face of God (Oregon and Washington are part of the “Unchurched Belt”), we do show absolute reverence for nature. Cheryl Strayed hikes the PCT to enlightenment and Lidia Yuknavitch continues to find new ways to transform bodies into oceans. Many of us may lack religion, but we have no shortage of spirituality.

Our literature exists in this intersection between the irreverent and the reverent, and that’s where I found Genevieve Hudson. She came to me by way of the short story “Too Much is Never Enough” about a young protagonist with two best friends, a boy and a girl she loves in different ways, but who are confused by or disinterested in her love. The main character first meets Catherine Elizabeth, her inseparable childhood best friend she calls Lizard until the girl’s mom stumbles in on them while they are making their vaginas “fart.” It’s a funny scene of kids innocently discovering the absurdities of having a body, but it quickly darkens when the mom, confused by the tomboyish best friend, enrolls her daughter into ballet classes and effectively ends the friendship.

Next, the girl befriends Mason, a rabble-rousing boy introduced holding a homemade bomb. “Mason looked like an angel, which was lucky for him because he acted like the devil so the two just about evened themselves out.” With Mason, she smokes stolen cigarettes and arm wrestles. As her body matures past childhood lines, she finds herself wanting to be him and to be loved by him. But instead, Mason finds Lizard, now Katie: “There was something they found in each other they could never find in me. I was not enough boy for Lizard. Not enough girl for Mason. I was something in between them.”

In between is where Genevieve’s stories live: characters in-between identities, settings in between Alabama and Amsterdam, a tone in between hilarious and heartbreaking. Her writing lives in a fluid space between a funny anecdote someone told you about their rural childhood and your third eye’s fever dream.

“Too Much is Never Enough” is not the only story of a tomboy figuring out how she fits in at the skatepark and punk shows where teens constellate in Pretend We Live Here. In “Scarecrow,” it’s Crow filming her best friend Jed and his fearless little brother on her camcorder while the boys perform daredevil stunts. In “Skatepark,” the protagonist is the only girl who skateboards besides the boys, and one of only two “12-year-olds who were brave enough to drop-in on the 12-foot half-pipe.” These stories are ripe with young girls who run from Sunday school dresses and refuse to stand on the sidelines while the boys have all the fun. Instead, they run towards their best friends’ older sisters, and they are wild with rebellion and first love. “She takes off at a slow pace for the show. It’s the kind of night with the day still in it…She stops and rips a sprig of lavender from a bush. She rubs it over her face and arms, shoves it inside her training bra.”

In many of these stories, the tomboy experiences a loss of innocence: a confusing sexual encounter she immediately regrets, following a reckless crush, watching her best friend sacrifice a piece of himself for the love of an estranged parent. These stories end with each character’s sudden jolt into adulthood. It’s as if the characters in these stories grow up and become the jaded, sarcastic, but occasionally still optimistic adults of the collection’s other stories.

The title of the collection is a line pulled from the story “Date Book,” in which the protagonist recounts a year with her long-distance girlfriend in short blurbs for each month. “By September you are another country again. The thought of you causes me to pick weeds, to put poems on the back of receipt paper. I get a package in the mail. It’s wrapped in a map of the place where you live. I fall in love with the smell of the cardboard, the image of your palms folding the top down. We meet on an island in the middle. I feed myself to you until we’re full.” The months are carefully and lovingly filled with acutely personal details, so that when January gets only the solemn entry “January,” the reader knows the end is near. “In February we go to Seattle to say goodbye. We accidentally rent a weekend apartment over a lesbian bar. We laugh all the way up the stairs.” It the end of their story, but they are pretending together. “We pretend we live here. We drink from cups. We unmake the bed.”

As the title of the collection, Pretend We Live Here sounds more like a command. It seems again to point to the in-between space this book evokes for me. There’s an implication of transience in the title, which is true for many people who come west. The Pacific Northwest, as the farthest point of the Contiguous United States, is often where people end up, particularly now as an influx of workers come here for tech jobs. Hudson is herself a transplant to Portland from Alabama, and her stories draw from all of her real-life settings. Whether the stories are set in a small town in Alabama or the queer art scene in Amsterdam, the characters within them are searching for something.

The first story in the book, “God Hospital,” and the last, “Boy Box,” both end with the protagonist being led away from a place. In each, the young girl follows an older girl, who acts as a guide, either away from or, potentially, to danger. The characters in the collection, children figuring out gender fluidity and first crushes or adults navigating complicated relationships, are seeking guides, but the guidesand Hudsonrarely take the reader to expected places.

Don’t try to pin Genevieve Hudson down. She will keep you guessing, and goddamn that’s something I adore in a writer. She has taken up the mantle of Robbins, Kesey and the other psychedelic, blue-collar poets of evergreens, mountain streams, and witty one-liners, and is queering the canon of Pacific Northwest literature.

KAIT HEACOCK is a writer and book publicist whose work centers the lives of women and non-binary folks, particularly those in the queer community. Her shorter work can be read in literary places from Joyland to The Millions, infrequent reviews for the Women’s Review of Books, and in her debut short story collection Siblings and Other Disappointments. Her work has received support from the Montez Press summer residency at Mathew Gallery and been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She is currently at work on a novel about what happens when women turn their anger outward.

[REVIEW] The Shadow King by Maaza Mengiste

W.W. Norton & Company, 2019

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REVIEW BY JOHN KAZANJIAN

With The Shadow King, Maaza Mengiste presents a complex story that examines the effects of colonialism on the national, social, and the individual level. Mengiste uses war’s ability to untether people from their ethos in order to provide her multi-dimensional critique. The rich themes are balanced by the pacing and the powerful prose. Mengiste compels the reader to turn pages eagerly in search of reprieves from the intensity—reprieves which rarely come.

The story’s protagonist, Hirute, is a young woman whose prized possession is her grandfather’s rifle. But when her fellow Ethiopians are called on to fight Mussolini’s fascist Italian Army, it is unceremoniously taken from her. It’s from this point that Mengiste begins her war story. However, it is one not limited to military conflict. Brutal violence and the struggle for sovereignty occurs on the battlefield, in the home, and within the body.

Hirute experiences the full horrific spectrum of colonization, both in terms of her country and her bodily autonomy. She serves Kidane and Aster, a couple who exercises full domain over her. After Kidane, an officer in the Ethiopian Army, takes her rifle, he brings her along on the battlefield and rapes her each chance that he gets. Aster, who dreams of fighting alongside the men, trains her to be a soldier, and when the opportunity is presented, Hirute also fights the Italians. The novel follows the unrelenting destruction of her identity until she redefines it as a soldier with only her country in mind.

Mengiste enhances the discussion of entitlement by presenting the second Italo-Ethiopian War in a dialectical fashion. She neither romanticizes nor fully condemns any character on each side of the conflict. Rather, she humanizes them and demonstrates their behaviors as results of predilections and pathologies. Every character is shown to suffer.

This is particularly apparent with the Italian photographer Ettore. He is serving his fascist army by documenting the war. When he joined the military, he sought to define himself with a sense of honor. But he has quickly become disillusioned from snapping the shutter before Ethiopians who are lynched or thrown off of the cliff by the prison camp. Moreover, he is Jewish and anticipates the betrayal of his fascist country. Ettore is the eye that witnesses the truth behind the propaganda of the photographs that he takes. The suffering around him conquers his spirit, and he frantically looks for sanctuary in the letters of his parents.

Hirute and Ettore eventually meet on opposite sides of the prison camp’s fence where her body appears before his camera. This encounter untethers Ettore from his nationalistic identity. When he leaves, he buries his letters and his family’s secrets, entrusting their location to Hirute. This solidifies their connection throughout the years. And it is at this later point in the story, in 1974, that the book opens as Hirute travels to meet him with his letters in tow.

Mengiste bookends her story with Hirute 39 years older and intersperses descriptions of photographs and songs to reframe the action from the gaze of the future. This generates a collage effect and exemplifies the elusive nature of memory. Adding to this effect is the fact that the sections are short, often leaving the characters abruptly and in danger or without a sense of closure. Withholding information like this also mimics the vast emotionality and the limited information of a photograph. The result is a somewhat epic feel but requires the reader to shift suddenly in plot and mood. It successfully portrays the exhausting pace of war and oppression’s relentless suffering. The reader’s heart breaks perpetually throughout the book.

However, the pacing and structure do prevent access to interiority. We must interpret characters through their actions, histories, and dialogues. Hirute is a tragic figure, yet her transformation leaves a great deal of room for speculation. Her own evolving perspective feels absent. Eventually, she finds love with a soldier named Aklilu, whose only bond with her seems to be that he shows romantic interest. The reader is left wondering why she has chosen Aklilu and how, with all that has happened to her, she is able to trust someone else.

But perhaps this is the intention. History often mythologizes stories, and there is a barrier of access to the humanity of the people involved. What we lose in photographs and letters is incalculable. Mengiste very well may be petitioning us to consider the lives of these people as we would any other figure in history, investigating the clues, but never reaching certainty with a story that belongs to someone else.

JOHN KAZANJIAN is a New York-based writer. His fiction and reviews have appeared in JMWW and The New School Creative Writing Blog. He is currently an MFA candidate at The New School. Find him on Twitter: @johnkazanjian.

[REVIEW] Aria Aber’s HARD DAMAGE

University of Nebraska Press, 2019

REVIEW BY ESTEBAN RODRIGUEZ

In an increasingly global society, there are many whose upbringing is centered around two or more cultures, which at times can be in harmony with each other, and at others in conflict. In Aria Aber’s debut collection, Hard Damage, a strong sense of identity lies at the center of each of the worlds explored, with every poem seeking to interrogate the historical and the personal, to flesh out what it means to have a past that impacts the present, and vice versa.

Winner of the 2018 Prairie Schooner Book Prize in Poetry, Hard Damage examines various aspects of the immigrant experience and the manner in which one navigates the complexities of a new life. In the proem “Reading Rilke in Berlin,” the speaker reflects on learning English and her father’s journey to a new country:

Into English I splintered the way my father clutched

his valise at the airport, defeated and un-American.

It took me twelve strange springs to know: nothing

occurs out of a sudden. How do I let it go?

Little has been purloined from me and the ghosts

of childhood still sibilate, by which I mean

nobody has touched me on my innermost parts.

Despite the sense of loss the speaker’s father feels, and that the speaker herself feels by splintering into a language her parents don’t fully know, there is no coming back, and they both must commit themselves to a land and people that are as intrigued as they are indifferent to new inhabitants. When we arrive at the end of the poem, the speaker’s mother responds, rather confidently, with a “fine, ou hare you?” after being asked where she is from, and the speaker, aware of the callous attitude of the immigration officer she encounters, says she wants nothing more than to “[rip] out his tongue/… and [wait]/ for it to bloom new [in her] blood,” thereby fully possessing what at the beginning of the poem wasn’t quite hers.

Although the speaker interrogates the nuances of her identities (Afghan, German, American), there is no denying that she accepts every part of who she is, regardless if part of her upbringing isn’t fully attached to one geographical location. She is not quickly or easily defined, and for others, this concept can be lost on an adherence to stereotypical expectations of what someone should be. One of the most memorable poems in this collection is “The Ownership of Naming Things,” which details what others see the speaker as rather than what she is:

What once was feathered like a voice, a seduction

of finches, now is vigorous, bids me into the sun.

I am not less enough. Once, a man unbuttoned

my spine into the purple noise of night, swore

You’re not like them, look at how light your skin

is.

Her skin may be light, but it doesn’t mean she loses her Afghan identity because of it, and it doesn’t dictate that she should shun what is essential to her being. As she says, quite directly, “I am not / delicate. Look at me. I am not trying to disappear.”

The process of not forgetting takes up the entirety of the third section of the book with the poem “Rilke and I.” The eight sections are titled in both German and English, and they highlight not only the attention to language but the manner in which certain words and phrases shape identities and worldviews. This can be as minuscule as the word “I,” which in the first section captures its implications:

Ich, the German first-person singular pronoun, is not capitalized.

Is my German selfhood humbler, does it fold into itself? Why is the

English I so prominent, so searing on the page?

It could look like an | and therefore like a wall more than a door—

altogether very different from the little ich, which is the scaffolding

of a roof, a cathedral, something to contain the collective.

Putting a microscope to things that might not seem important is at the core of the speaker’s attempt to understand her history better, and to form a new way of looking at what is too often overlooked. Although contemplative and philosophical, Aber’s ability to switch into the narrative provides the perfect balance to insights into the speaker’s past, as shown in “Und/And”:

As children, it’s the only word we use to comprehend continuity. “And

then what?” we ask.

And then we had to leave Afghanistan.

“And then? And then? And then?”

You and I. You, who made me. And = the umbilical cord.

And Mother and Father, at last. Yes, he was there—a distant firefly in

a field; like the traveler that he was, which as the meaning of his last

name, he was always gone, trying to become an American.

Again, a single word is sufficient enough to meditate on what exactly “continuity” entails, and how moments from our life are connected in more ways than we originally thought.

The past here is personal, but it doesn’t entirely exist outside of history. “Operation Cyclone,” titled after the code name of the CIA’s program to arm and finance the mujahideen during the 1980s, interweaves various stories with the reality and consequences of such an operation:

a brother a favorite among his eight siblings

a brother believed to be gone

a brother’s name crossed through, filed away under “collateral”

a cheek held to the soles of the occupation

a country surveilled and censored as X

a cyclone as metaphor

a family collapsing at the grave, the grave empty, the stone etched

with cursive Died: unknown; died believing in good, beloved son,

brother, and uncle

a family cowered at the dinner table thinking of their brother

a family scouring through death lists, searching among the names of

the tortured, the detained and executed for a trace of their brother

a family waiting for news

a father beginning a joke with There’s no Walmart in Afghanistan

a fridge full of light

a funeral willowed and willing

a funeral with sisters wailing like blue jays, flagellating themselves and

each other

a funeral without a body so sober the orchids are flushing

I include this entire stanza because it’s important to read the totality of Aber’s attention to events that most Americans more than likely know nothing about. For the speaker, it’s a truth they must live with constantly, recognizing that she doesn’t want your sympathy, but instead she “want[s] your attention.” Even if that can be bothersome (think of all the people who shed light on unjust issues in order to promote their own brand or because they are merely hopping on a social bandwagon), it’s something that is nevertheless necessary in order excavate every aspect of the truth, regardless of how tragic that truth may be.

Recently, there has been some debate about “Best of” literary lists, whether they are too narrow in their scope or simply biased toward works that have been bestowed with awards, failing to consider the abundance of books that deserves a wider audience. Regardless of where you land in this debate, it’s hard to imagine, as 2019 nears its end, that Hard Damage won’t be on every one of those lists. It’s an incredible achievement that doesn’t sugarcoat the subjects it tackles, and if there is a book that so thoroughly explores the human condition this year, it is undoubtedly Aber’s, one that will move you as much as it will stir serious discussion with others and, most importantly, with yourself.

ESTEBAN RODRIGUEZ is the author of the collections Dusk & Dust (Hub City Press 2019), Crash Course (Saddle Road Press 2019), In Bloom (SFASU Press 2020), and (Dis)placement (Skull + Wind Press 2020). His poetry has appeared in Boulevard, The Rumpus, Shenandoah, TriQuarterly, and elsewhere. He is the Interviews Editor for the EcoTheo Review, an Assistant Poetry Editor for AGNI, and a regular reviews contributor for [PANK] and Heavy Feather Review. He lives with his family in Austin, Texas.

[REVIEW] The Last Innocence/The Lost Adventures by Alejandra Pizarnik, Trans. Cecilia Rossi

 

(Ugly Duckling Presse, 2019)

REVIEW BY CLARA B. JONES

 

SOMETHING

night as you go

lend me your hand

work of a teeming angel

days commit suicide

why do they?

night as you go

good night

Alejandra Pizarnik

 

Ugly Duckling Press sponsors a Lost Literature Series that “publishes neglected, never-before-translated, or scarcely available works of poetry and prose.” Painter and writer, Alejandra Pizarnik (1936 -1972), is among the avant-garde writers highlighted—a daughter of Russian Jewish immigrants to Argentina who died from an overdose of Seconal while on furlough from a mental institution. Most of the online and textual sources that I consulted label her death, “suicide.” It is well-documented that Pizarnik endured challenges growing up, particularly problems affecting her physical appearance (acne, weight gain) and social presence (stuttering). However, she coped sufficiently during some periods as a young adult, living and studying in Paris for four years and traveling widely on Guggenheim and Fulbright awards. I first became familiar with Pizarnic when conducting research on Marosa di Giorgio, another South American poet resurrected in Ugly Duckling Press’ recovery project. Marjorie Agosín’s edited volume* provided useful “portraits of Latin American women writers,” documenting that, of the sixteen included in the book, six died tragically—among these, four poets who died by suicide.

The Last Innocence/The Lost Adventure comprises two poetry collections, published 1956 and 1958, respectively, of mostly short pieces revealing Pizarnik’s self-absorption and dark mien, presented in styles that are difficult to classify, though she is generally placed among the literary Surrealists (unconscious motivation, dream analysis), with a current of Romanticism (inner world, feelings, emotions). Like her noteworthy visual art, however, Pizarnik’s poetry demonstrates an affinity to Expressionism’s emphasis upon emotion, exaggeration, anti-realism, and psychological reality. It was also an important movement in the fine arts in Argentina during the 1960s, according to Edward Lucie-Smith (Thames & Hudson, 2004). It is not clear to me why Pizarnik switched from literary studies to painting and then to writing; however, an online source suggested that she considered one of her teachers—“pre-Surrealist” Giorgio de Chirico— to be a poor artist, and therefore possibly a source of disillusionment for the young student.

Argentina has the highest per capita number of psychoanalysts in the world, and one online report is titled, “Almost everyone in Buenos Aires is in therapy.” In addition, Argentina has high rates of depression and suicide. Pizarnik wrote in this psychosocial milieu, combined with a political context characterized by authoritarianism and military dictatorship. Although Pizarnik was a lesbian (or more probably bisexual) the scholar David William Foster pointed out that, “Her poems reveal only scant same-sex markers,” a characteristic that Foster attributed to the need to remain conventional under repressive regimes. On the other hand, a 2015 article by journalist and editor Emily Cooke demonstrates that, in letters to her analyst, León Ostrov, to whom The Last Innocence is dedicated, Pizarnik spoke openly, even flirtatiously, about her sexual attractions and fantasies (especially in Letter #10 dated 12/27/1960) and that she was consciously aware that she (and, he?) had entered the Freudian stage of “transference,” where unconscious sexual motivations transfer from patient to therapist and vice versa.

Indeed, the letters discussed by Cooke suggest to me that Pizarnik’s correspondence to Ostrov may have been manipulative, though, to what end? The letters leave the impression of a playful girl, and Enrique Vila-Matas, writing in Lit Hub in 2016, states, “The dark force of her Immaturity produces an irresistible attraction,” different from today’s “academic lyric poetry.” Pizarnik had a history of rebelling against the academic establishment, a characteristic that she shared with the Expressionists. But The Last Innocence/The Lost Adventures, collections written before her residence in Paris (1960-1964), has more affinities to Surrealism as compositions representing the poet’s unconscious psychological states of being and deep motivational drives (e.g., epigraph poem).

Vila-Matas refers to Pizarnik’s story as “an unstoppable myth,” and much has been written about the themes of childhood, not-belonging, woman-as-hostage, and silence in her oeuvre. In 2006, scholar Susana Chávez-Silverman referred to the poet’s “complex textual self” expressed in “a variety of…voices”—dolls, little girls, “automata,” animals, the wind, etc. Pizarnik’s writing has often been compared to that of Silvina Ocampo, Emily Dickinson, and Sylvia Plath—Ocampo because of the tendency to “decouple emotion and action”: “…a dead bird / is flying toward despair / in the midst of music / when witches and flowers / cut the hand of the mist. / A dead bird called blue.” (49); the other two poets because of an emphasis upon death, dying, and interiority: “…there is something that tears the skin, / a blind fury / running through my veins.” (21).

In a 2019 Bookforum article, Cooke discussed Plath’s letters to her (female) therapist, showing the poet to be supplicatory, demanding, desperate for attention and aid, and, in the words of poet Vijay Seshardri, “psychologically sensitive.” While Pizarnik’s letters to Ostrov are clearly attention-seeking and, possibly, unconscious cris de coeur, she performs her writing with vigor and feigned or exaggerated self-confidence rather than Plath-like neurasthenia. Nonetheless, some psychologists speak of the “Sylvia Plath effect”—the purported association between creativity and mental illness. Indeed, following an American Psychological Association article, Aristotle wrote “that eminent philosophers, politicians, poets, and artists all have tendencies toward ‘melancholia.’” It is a simple point to observe that Pizarnik’s persona is consistent with the Plath effect; however, unless I am mistaken, the validity of the hypothesis is controversial among psychologists and feminists—open to interpretation, gendered, and lacking hard evidence.

In a recent New Yorker interview between editor Kevin Young and Seshadri, Plath was discussed in terms of several traits, some applying readily to Pizarnik. For example, in contrast to the classicism of Elizabeth Bishop, Seshadri pointed out that Plath’s writing is “absolutely individuated—it’s very hard to see Plath as an exemplar of anything but her own situation and condition.” One might consider this characteristic to be an artistic limitation; however, both Plath and Pizarnik have proven to have lasting popularity, particularly among women and the young, raising issues of “gendered and sexualized” self/ other contrasts as well as spectors of “power and powerlessness,” topics discussed in numerous scholarly and critical papers available online. Seshadri goes on to point out that both Bishop and Plath wrote poetry that communicates “wildness” and animality, also features of Pizarnik’s writing as noted above.

To speak of self/other raises questions about “alterity,” a topic fundamental to the Lacanian psychoanalytical traditions in Argentina. For Lacan, the Other is the subject—symbolically and metaphorically, and the role of the Other is to mediate its relation to the unique, “individuated” subject in a dialectical manner. Thus, Pizarnik’s “you” may be understood to be herself: “this dismal obsession with living / this distant madness of living / it’s dragging you down alejandra don’t deny it” (17), suggesting a circular, internal, “individuated” relationship of the poet to the environment that is, presumably, unconscious– “I must go / but on you go, traveller!”(25). Perhaps this characterization of Plath and Pizarnik relies too heavily upon a conceptual framework implying narcissism; however, more than one scholar has interpreted Pizarnik’s self-absorption in this manner (see, for example, Stephen Gregory, 1997, Bulletin of Hispanic Studies, vol. 74). To speak of self/other or subject/object incorporates another of Lacan’s essential ideas—“mirroring.” the process of objectifying the Ego, typifying “an essential libidinal relationship with the body-image”: “alejandra alejandra / beneath I am me / alejandra” (29). Pizarnik entered psychoanalysis at a relatively young age, demonstrating a precocious grasp of its canon in letters to Ostrov; thus, authentic and accurate critical scrutiny of her oeuvre must include evaluations of Lacanian psychoanalysis on her state of mind, behavior, socio-economic-political contexts, values, attitudes, opinions, and writing.

Vijay Seshadri noted that Plath’s poems are “not just held together by form.” Similarly, Pizarnik’s compositions rely not only upon innovative uses of lineation, punctuation, and other grammatical conventions, but also upon complex semantic, imagistic, and musical features transmitting powerful emotional content open to multiple interpretations, including possibilities for identification—no doubt major determinants of Pizarnik’s appeal and endurance, particularly for women and young adults. Cecilia Rossi’s sensitive translations will widen Pizarnik’s readership and contribute to the increasingly common recovery projects of female writers and visual artists forgotten, lost, passed over, overpowered, or dismissed. Too many of these women lived or died tragically; the least we can do is to honor their work.

 

*Borinsky Alicia. Alejandra Pizarnik: the self and its impossible landscapes. pp 291-302 in Marjorie Agosín, Ed. A dream of light & shadow: portraits of Latin American women writers. (1995) University of New Mexico Press, Albuquerque.

 

Clara B. Jones is a knowledge worker practicing in Silver Spring, MD, USA. Among other works, she is the author of Poems for Rachel Dolezal (Gauss PDF, 2019). Clara also conducts research on experimental literature and art & technology.

[REVIEW] Slow Dance Bullets by Meaghann Quinn

(Route 7 Press, 2019)

REVIEW BY GAIL DIMAGGIO

Meaghan Quinn’s first book Slow Dance, Bullets opens with Withdrawal and closes with How to Forgive Yourself. Between those poles, the poems re-enact a pain-filled journey in language both contemporary and timeless, commercial and sacred. The speaker fasts on Snapple and Mentos, her brothers dip hands into “urinals of holy water”, spring pushes green leaves “up through horse shit” and death won’t hurt as much if we just keep moving. Throughout, Quinn’s voice is as lyrical as a spinning tire swing, as sensuous as a razor blade.

While the journey includes addiction and recovery, it is not defined so much by that contemporary tale as a more primal story: a girl tossed out of paradise, naked and nameless trying to remake the world and herself out of nothing. A sense of sin, it turns out, provides the rocky foundation for identity. In this world, the speaker is one of the “lost kids” who become “something and nothing up there on the cliff/perched over water.”

The poem “A Childhood” combines the sanctified language of Catholicism with the ritualized motion of the pantoum into an eerie sense of constant motion never advancing. Between the first and last stanza, the speaker loses her identity as the obedient girl who took Communion and blessed her dolls and is transformed into a stranger who wraps those dolls in plastic and blames God for the rain. “The babysitter hurt me,” she tells us and then “the babysitter hurt the girl in the white ranch,” and by the time the “baby sitter left, no one knew me.”

For a long time, the speaker searches for someone to lead her home, to lead her back to the “blow up pool.” The few adults turn out to be distracted or beside the point—her beloved mother picking up “cig buts flicked by the sad uncles.” A professor knocking back Tequila shots and conjugating, “the verb to be/ like I knew what it meant to be sum, es, est.” For the rest, she learns what it means “to be” from other ‘lost kids’: “sitting cross-legged…./Rubinoff bottles balanced between our thighs.” And “older girls (who) pushed us out of cars/pretended to brand our feet.” And her brothers: Cain and Abel she calls them, adored and energized and in love with danger.

Cain

even now grinning

under the clothesline

 

waiting to be oiled like

the smooth grooves of a gun

waiting to be triggered.

Increasingly, she searches for transformation in some sexual blood sacrifice as in Construction Sites, where she “wanted them to notice me/ to pin me down/ to beast me into/something I wasn’t//& so I stepped on a nail,” let a boy “carry me like a slain sheep.” She seems to be trying to see if she can make a life and a self out of the religion of sexuality and a sense of sin.

& wasn’t this my entryway into identity

my right to know how wrong this all was because

 

we were running the risk of getting caught….

 

& how even now I’m dreaming of hearing

a tattered mouth suck on a thigh of salvation….

One after one, she turns to her lovers, most of them as lost and suffering as she is: girl in the parking lot/behind McCaffery’s Pub, the girl from the Irish Bar, the soldier in “Camp Le Jeaune” “eyes like a shard of shrapnel.” Each human contact wrapped in pain and promising pain, no available escape but “Escapism.” The journey heads down into the drowning waters of addiction. In “I Don’t Remember Making My Confirmation,” the speaker tells us that she now “feels God in my chest/when I stand sauced//buzzing before the altar”.

Quinn’s poems make it clear that the chance of survival is as random as the chance of addiction. That not everyone finds a companion who sat all night beside the speaker, whose “unholy face [is smashed] against the tiles.” A companion with the wisdom not to ask why she “takes the same thing/they use at zoos to put elephants to sleep.” Another who will paddle out to sea “just as the sky turns neon” and is willing to let her be the one to say whether they stay or turn back.

Of course, in the end, salvation—spiritual or mundane—remains mysterious. These poems are too wise and too honest to pretend we can know what makes it possible for a “lost kid” to accept life, “to learn the hard way that there is nothing/poetic about death.” To decide “to be.”

 

Gail DiMaggio is the author of Woman Prime, selected by Jericho Brown for the 2018 Permafrost Poetry Prize published by Alaska University Press. Her work has appeared most recently in Salamander, Slipstream, The Tishman Review, and elsewhere. She lives and writes in Concord, NH.

I get dirty, you get clean: on Teresa Pepi’s L|in|P;L|in|D;L-o

WORDS BY ANDY MARTRICH

“Le temps et le monde et la personne ne rencontrent qu’une seule fois.”

– Hélène Cixous, Dedans

 

In the 1996 novel Pussy, King of the Pirates, which is a rendering of Treasure Island, Kathy Acker documents the exploits of a timeless Antigone as a surrogate of Stevenson’s protagonist Jim Hawkins. Through a mesh of narrative voices, Acker disputes the validity of time as a categorical imperative, suggesting that its necessity in the adventure of “buccaneers and buried gold” is coupled with its role in sustaining a patriarchal dogma that inflicts trauma indefinitely:

 

Out into the future, what will be time. In this arena between timelessness and time, the most dangerous thing or being that can come into being is time. (68)

 

The present, as the embodiment of a certain perniciousness, contains traces of its assemblage alongside the implication of its intactness. Although this appears intrinsic to its archival disposition (i.e., as a palimpsestic record), this symbiosis likewise connotes its fragility, since that which appears dynamic (as the result of things having happened) only does so by both succumbing to and imposing limitations that are otherwise transitory. Acker presents this idea in a narrative continuum, where things documented aren’t necessarily taking place within a chronology. Compliance to time refracts as the indulgent rationality and morality of a particular (male) sympathy. As an impetus filtered through privilege, it adheres to deep-seated preoccupations with rules that have the semblance of coming from nowhere, yet are blindly reiterated by cryptic authority.

Teresa Pepi’s L|in|P;L|in|D;L-o (Gauss PDF, 2015) confronts time as a similar snare, albeit with born-digital connotation. Contextually, Pepi makes use of Gauss PDF’s blog format (i.e., Tumblr) and publishing structure, which enables one to present files in lieu of normative art/poetry productions, allowing for the construction of new models and the supplementing of older ones. L|in|P;L|in|D;L-o is a zip file containing three Microsoft Word documents and forty-six jpegs. Most of the files are labeled by page number (although some pages are missing) and a succinct, generic title. The blog post itself contains a preface/personal note, which cites grim indicators. Even before opening the zip file, time is characterized in a reductive sense as the brutality of entropic order that portends an interior agony. It simultaneously coerces interiority while encompassing it, granting it an exploitative creative omnipotence. Yet, in lieu of its sinister, violent, and powerful character, time is susceptible to its own deterioration; it’s in disassociation from time (perhaps in its complete decay) where we might slip its terror.

The initial document in the zip file contains a poem titled “Drive.” There’s a loose employability, as it (along with the other two Word documents) is left to the possibility of editing, changing, and even redistribution. It also provides anatomical continuity to ideas expressed in the preface by reflecting the implied malleability of an “inbetween”—an undecidability that churns within an association of certain dualities (e.g., clean/dirty, health/disease, identity/anonymity, etc.). The poem is rant-like, while at the same time incurring a detached lucidity:

 

What do I look like, I don’t look like anything

 

the vehicle is the window, time is the window

 

drive to become clean, but you need to change

 

I am the window, I get dirty, you get clean

I enter the crowd

 

the bacteria entered the window pretending to be clean, the new space is diseased

 

locate the disease, find the source

 

trace the trail

 

but now yourself is diseased

 

you yourself must go through a window

to get clean

 

[…]

 

the window through the window to be clean, time through time to undo it

 

“Driving” expresses an active energy—a propulsion through time and space within a place of confinement (i.e., the fragile interior of a vehicle). In general, it connotes inadequate escape, as it can only reframe the complications at the core of locality; one inherently brings one’s own time and space into the time and space of others. There’s mutual exchange of contamination (the worst things have already infiltrated), yet Pepi must get through the window, identified as both the self and time, in order to avoid all corruption. Pepi must access the intermediacy of contrasting conditions.

“Driving” is followed by an unsettling jpeg titled “Multiple Revisions (1),” an image of text scrawled on a wall in a dark room. Here, Pepi refers to time as “an absence,” which suggests that withdrawal from it can’t be as linear as a process of driving:

In lieu, unhinging from time requires a kind of presence. The revision of Pepi’s “motives” rescinds the proclamation that one must propel into the “inbetween,” but rather dive beneath it. This idea is bolstered by three “Lint Paintings,” minimal portraits of a small gradient immersed in a vacant landscape. The lint paintings impress contemporaneous releasing/compressing—as if floating in a vacuum, or drifting into a kind of microcosmic, isolated realm. They appear to be topographical, delineating the locality of time as it occurs in hypothetical blankness as a speck of dust. Time (as lint) is small, gray, and spectral—yet connotes a portal out of scale, a puncture leading to material abyss. Eyes are drawn to it; one follows and resides in it.

Sure enough, we next encounter Pepi on the inside, or rather in the “Inbetween Space,” the first of three jpegs depicting a process of self-burial. “Inbetween Space 1” is an image of Pepi half-buried in the ground, reaching out to a nearby wall with dirt-caked fingers. Pepi appears trance-like, as if in communion or contact with something otherworldly. There is heavily contrasted golden light and deep shadow, with the latter descending through Pepi to the wall. Again, we come upon muddling dualities (e.g., light/dark, hidden/exposed, etc.), represented here by Pepi’s body. This is followed by “Inbetween Space 2,” an extreme close-up of the unoccupied hole, suggesting the reversal or disorienting of time, perhaps the effect of Pepi’s transfer, as self-burial takes place out of sequence (“Inbetween Space 3,” which shows a blurry figure (likely Pepi) digging the hole, is found at the end of the zip file).

With Pepi wedged in the gateway, L|in|P;L|in|D;L-o flickers in and out of time’s sadism, where technological authorities—including language—start deteriorating. Duration is in a process of annulment, affecting any kind of historic regulation. In a note to J. Gordon Faylor (publisher of Gauss PDF), Pepi comments:

There’s this thing in which one’s own personal life is allowed to make sense only through addressing the past without an image of it. You can’t have legal documents in other words. So I had to make them up.

One refracts former and prospective selves, experiences, relationships, and traumas into an imageless void. Indeed, Pepi constructs legal documents from this space—fabricated legalese composed of garbled text and symbols, perhaps reminiscent of spam, code, or found language. Legal documents are situated around the jpeg of the hole, connoting an extraterrestrial (non)communication via mystical expression or an arcane symbology (although rendered through a familiar filetype) from the “Inbetween Space” itself:

With the thread of authoritative evidence in peril, the delusion of the rule-based self-as-result is confounded by the breakdown of time. The legal documents are the last “texts” we see. There’s no longer a language, or any device for that matter, through which to recognize time’s jurisdiction. Pepi articulates its absence in a hiccuping continuum of digital photographs. Easily the most extensive part of L|in|P;L|in|D;L-o, thirty-nine of its forty-six jpegs are dedicated to a nearly identical shot—what Pepi refers to as “Overhead Light,” a ceiling fan and lamp framed from the same angle in varying light and shadow. The images are for the most part labeled in order (i.e., “Overhead Light 1,” “Overhead Light 2,” etc.), aside from a few missing numbers in the sequence. Yet like the “Inbetween Space” photos, they don’t seem to follow any particular duration beyond how they appear arranged in the zip file.

Many of the images include ghostly backscatter, implying spectral presences. One gets the sense of claustrophobic domesticity—that of being trapped or hiding in a room. The repetition and eeriness of a common household object suggests something conspiratorial at play, drawing parallels to Lynch/Frost’s use of the ceiling fan at the Palmer house in Twin Peaks, which is cryptic enough for fans of the show to speculate numberless roles, although most certainly embodying an essential function regarding the on-going violence, trauma, and ghoulishness of the series’ narrative. Pepi’s “Overhead Light,” on the other hand, appears to be more deliberate regarding its apparent inertia, although, once again, blurring the boundaries of chronology. But given the monotony of imagery and implicit paranoia (as to what is happening off camera), what are the effects of Pepi’s transfer to the “inbetween”—is Pepi liberated, captured, or none of the above? And where does that put the reader?

In L|in|P;L|in|D;L-o, time is a cliché that produces, compartmentalizes, and enacts cruelty within a solipsistic fantasy that ensnares us all. Amid the oscillation of extraneous conditions (e.g., as articulated in gradual disjunction out of time), Pepi appears rhizomatic (as per Deuleuze/Guattari’s conception of it)—planted within the intermediary, rooting and shooting into unknown perpetuity. There’s boundless interconnection in the presence of indefinite possibility beyond time’s snare. Perhaps, then, L|in|P;L|in|D;L-o suggests a peripatetic literature, contingent on activism against a foundational curse. On the other hand, the preface concludes that “this project is about nurturing,” asserting that Pepi found comfort, healing, and solace in the exploits of a self metamorphosed into a timeless Antigone. But with the terrible sadness of Pepi’s passing in 2015 at the age of twenty-one, L|in|P;L|in|D;L-o is not only more painful to revisit but also leads one to wonder if it isn’t an explicit gesture.

 

Self destruction is what it is

it’s a collective wish that

what is exists

Andy Martrich is the author of Ethical Probe on Mixed Martial Arts Enthusiasts in the USA (Counterpath Press), A manifest detection of death-lot in banking games (Gauss PDF Editions), and Iona (BlazeVOX Books), among others. Some essays have appeared at Jacket2, The Volta Blog, and ON Contemporary Practice. Andy works on Hiding Press with Mark Johnson and Jonathan Gorman, and lives in France.